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Twilight in Italy
D.H. Lawrence




CONTENTS


THE CRUCIFIX ACROSS THE MOUNTAINS

ON THE LAGO DI GARDA
  1 _The Spinner and the Monks_
  2 _The Lemon Gardens_
  3 _The Theatre_
  4 _San Gaudenzio_
  5 _The Dance_
  6 _Il Duro_
  7 _John_

ITALIANS IN EXILE

THE RETURN JOURNEY




_The Crucifix Across the Mountains_


The imperial road to Italy goes from Munich across the Tyrol, through
Innsbruck and Bozen to Verona, over the mountains. Here the great
processions passed as the emperors went South, or came home again from
rosy Italy to their own Germany.

And how much has that old imperial vanity clung to the German soul? Did
not the German kings inherit the empire of bygone Rome? It was not a
very real empire, perhaps, but the sound was high and splendid.

Maybe a certain Grössenwahn is inherent in the German nature. If only
nations would realize that they have certain natural characteristics, if
only they could understand and agree to each other's particular nature,
how much simpler it would all be.

The imperial procession no longer crosses the mountains, going South.
That is almost forgotten, the road has almost passed out of mind. But
still it is there, and its signs are standing.

The crucifixes are there, not mere attributes of the road, yet still
having something to do with it. The imperial processions, blessed by the
Pope and accompanied by the great bishops, must have planted the holy
idol like a new plant among the mountains, there where it multiplied and
grew according to the soil, and the race that received it.

As one goes among the Bavarian uplands and foothills, soon one realizes
here is another land, a strange religion. It is a strange country,
remote, out of contact. Perhaps it belongs to the forgotten, imperial
processions.

Coming along the clear, open roads that lead to the mountains, one
scarcely notices the crucifixes and the shrines. Perhaps one's interest
is dead. The crucifix itself is nothing, a factory-made piece of
sentimentalism. The soul ignores it.

But gradually, one after another looming shadowily under their hoods,
the crucifixes seem to create a new atmosphere over the whole of the
countryside, a darkness, a weight in the air that is so unnaturally
bright and rare with the reflection from the snows above, a darkness
hovering just over the earth. So rare and unearthly the light is, from
the mountains, full of strange radiance. Then every now and again recurs
the crucifix, at the turning of an open, grassy road, holding a shadow
and a mystery under its pointed hood.

I was startled into consciousness one evening, going alone over a marshy
place at the foot of the mountains, when the sky was pale and unearthly,
invisible, and the hills were nearly black. At a meeting of the tracks
was a crucifix, and between the feet of the Christ a handful of withered
poppies. It was the poppies I saw, then the Christ.

It was an old shrine, the wood-sculpture of a Bavarian peasant. The
Christ was a peasant of the foot of the Alps. He had broad cheekbones
and sturdy limbs. His plain, rudimentary face stared fixedly at the
hills, his neck was stiffened, as if in resistance to the fact of the
nails and the cross, which he could not escape. It was a man nailed down
in spirit, but set stubbornly against the bondage and the disgrace. He
was a man of middle age, plain, crude, with some of the meanness of the
peasant, but also with a kind of dogged nobility that does not yield its
soul to the circumstance. Plain, almost blank in his soul, the
middle-aged peasant of the crucifix resisted unmoving the misery of his
position. He did not yield. His soul was set, his will was fixed. He was
himself, let his circumstances be what they would, his life fixed down.

Across the marsh was a tiny square of orange-coloured light, from the
farm-house with the low, spreading roof. I remembered how the man and
his wife and the children worked on till dark, silent and intent,
carrying the hay in their arms out of the streaming thunder-rain into
the shed, working silent in the soaking rain.

The body bent forward towards the earth, closing round on itself; the
arms clasped full of hay, clasped round the hay that presses soft and
close to the breast and the body, that pricks heat into the arms and the
skin of the breast, and fills the lungs with the sleepy scent of dried
herbs: the rain that falls heavily and wets the shoulders, so that the
shirt clings to the hot, firm skin and the rain comes with heavy,
pleasant coldness on the active flesh, running in a trickle down towards
the loins, secretly; this is the peasant, this hot welter of physical
sensation. And it is all intoxicating. It is intoxicating almost like a
soporific, like a sensuous drug, to gather the burden to one's body in
the rain, to stumble across the living grass to the shed, to relieve
one's arms of the weight, to throw down the hay on to the heap, to feel
light and free in the dry shed, then to return again into the chill,
hard rain, to stoop again under the rain, and rise to return again with
the burden.

It is this, this endless heat and rousedness of physical sensation which
keeps the body full and potent, and flushes the mind with a blood heat,
a blood sleep. And this sleep, this heat of physical experience, becomes
at length a bondage, at last a crucifixion. It is the life and the
fulfilment of the peasant, this flow of sensuous experience. But at last
it drives him almost mad, because he cannot escape.

For overhead there is always the strange radiance of the mountains,
there is the mystery of the icy river rushing through its pink shoals
into the darkness of the pine-woods, there is always the faint tang of
ice on the air, and the rush of hoarse-sounding water.

And the ice and the upper radiance of snow are brilliant with timeless
immunity from the flux and the warmth of life. Overhead they transcend
all life, all the soft, moist fire of the blood. So that a man must
needs live under the radiance of his own negation.

There is a strange, clear beauty of form about the men of the Bavarian
highlands, about both men and women. They are large and clear and
handsome in form, with blue eyes very keen, the pupil small, tightened,
the iris keen, like sharp light shining on blue ice. Their large,
full-moulded limbs and erect bodies are distinct, separate, as if they
were perfectly chiselled out of the stuff of life, static, cut off.
Where they are everything is set back, as in a clear frosty air.

Their beauty is almost this, this strange, clean-cut isolation, as if
each one of them would isolate himself still further and for ever from
the rest of his fellows.

Yet they are convivial, they are almost the only race with the souls of
artists. Still they act the mystery plays with instinctive fullness of
interpretation, they sing strangely in the mountain fields, they love
make-belief and mummery, their processions and religious festivals are
profoundly impressive, solemn, and rapt.

It is a race that moves on the poles of mystic sensual delight. Every
gesture is a gesture from the blood, every expression is a symbolic
utterance.

For learning there is sensuous experience, for thought there is myth and
drama and dancing and singing. Everything is of the blood, of the
senses. There is no mind. The mind is a suffusion of physical heat, it
is not separated, it is kept submerged.

At the same time, always, overhead, there is the eternal, negative
radiance of the snows. Beneath is life, the hot jet of the blood playing
elaborately. But above is the radiance of changeless not-being. And life
passes away into this changeless radiance. Summer and the prolific
blue-and-white flowering of the earth goes by, with the labour and the
ecstasy of man, disappears, and is gone into brilliance that hovers
overhead, the radiant cold which waits to receive back again all that
which has passed for the moment into being.

The issue is too much revealed. It leaves the peasant no choice. The
fate gleams transcendent above him, the brightness of eternal,
unthinkable not-being. And this our life, this admixture of labour and
of warm experience in the flesh, all the time it is steaming up to the
changeless brilliance above, the light of the everlasting snows. This is
the eternal issue.

Whether it is singing or dancing or play-acting or physical transport of
love, or vengeance or cruelty, or whether it is work or sorrow or
religion, the issue is always the same at last, into the radiant
negation of eternity. Hence the beauty and completeness, the finality of
the highland peasant. His figure, his limbs, his face, his motion, it is
all formed in beauty, and it is all completed. There is no flux nor hope
nor becoming, all is, once and for all. The issue is eternal, timeless,
and changeless. All being and all passing away is part of the issue,
which is eternal and changeless. Therefore there is no becoming and no
passing away. Everything is, now and for ever. Hence the strange beauty
and finality and isolation of the Bavarian peasant.

It is plain in the crucifixes. Here is the essence rendered in sculpture
of wood. The face is blank and stiff, almost expressionless. One
realizes with a start how unchanging and conventionalized is the face of
the living man and woman of these parts, handsome, but motionless as
pure form. There is also an underlying meanness, secretive, cruel. It is
all part of the beauty, the pure, plastic beauty. The body also of the
Christus is stiff and conventionalized, yet curiously beautiful in
proportion, and in the static tension which makes it unified into one
clear thing. There is no movement, no possible movement. The being is
fixed, finally. The whole body is locked in one knowledge, beautiful,
complete. It is one with the nails. Not that it is languishing or dead.
It is stubborn, knowing its own undeniable being, sure of the absolute
reality of the sensuous experience. Though he is nailed down upon an
irrevocable fate, yet, within that fate he has the power and the delight
of all sensuous experience. So he accepts the fate and the mystic
delight of the senses with one will, he is complete and final. His
sensuous experience is supreme, a consummation of life and death
at once.

It is the same at all times, whether it is moving with the scythe on the
hill-slopes, or hewing the timber, or steering the raft down the river
which is all effervescent with ice; whether it is drinking in the
Gasthaus, or making love, or playing some mummer's part, or hating
steadily and cruelly, or whether it is kneeling in spellbound subjection
in the incense-filled church, or walking in the strange, dark,
subject-procession to bless the fields, or cutting the young birch-trees
for the feast of Frohenleichnam, it is always the same, the dark,
powerful mystic, sensuous experience is the whole of him, he is mindless
and bound within the absoluteness of the issue, the unchangeability of
the great icy not-being which holds good for ever, and is supreme.

Passing further away, towards Austria, travelling up the Isar, till the
stream becomes smaller and whiter and the air is colder, the full
glamour of the northern hills, which are so marvellously luminous and
gleaming with flowers, wanes and gives way to a darkness, a sense of
ominousness. Up there I saw another little Christ, who seemed the very
soul of the place. The road went beside the river, that was seething
with snowy ice-bubbles, under the rocks and the high, wolf-like
pine-trees, between the pinkish shoals. The air was cold and hard and
high, everything was cold and separate. And in a little glass case
beside the road sat a small, hewn Christ, the head resting on the hand;
and he meditates, half-wearily, doggedly, the eyebrows lifted in strange
abstraction, the elbow resting on the knee. Detached, he sits and dreams
and broods, wearing his little golden crown of thorns, and his little
cloak of red flannel that some peasant woman has stitched for him.

No doubt he still sits there, the small, blank-faced Christ in the cloak
of red flannel, dreaming, brooding, enduring, persisting. There is a
wistfulness about him, as if he knew that the whole of things was too
much for him. There was no solution, either, in death. Death did not
give the answer to the soul's anxiety. That which is, is. It does not
cease to be when it is cut. Death cannot create nor destroy. What
is, is.

The little brooding Christ knows this. What is he brooding, then? His
static patience and endurance is wistful. What is it that he secretly
yearns for, amid all the placidity of fate? 'To be, or not to be,' this
may be the question, but is it not a question for death to answer. It is
not a question of living or not-living. It is a question of being--to be
or not to be. To persist or not to persist, that is not the question;
neither is it to endure or not to endure. The issue, is it eternal
not-being? If not, what, then, is being? For overhead the eternal
radiance of the snow gleams unfailing, it receives the efflorescence of
all life and is unchanged, the issue is bright and immortal, the snowy
not-being. What, then, is being?

As one draws nearer to the turning-point of the Alps, towards the
culmination and the southern slope, the influence of the educated world
is felt once more. Bavaria is remote in spirit, as yet unattached. Its
crucifixes are old and grey and abstract, small like the kernel of the
truth. Further into Austria they become new, they are painted white,
they are larger, more obtrusive. They are the expressions of a later,
newer phase, more introspective and self-conscious. But still they are
genuine expressions of the people's soul.

Often one can distinguish the work of a particular artist here and there
in a district. In the Zemm valley, in the heart of the Tyrol, behind
Innsbruck, there are five or six crucifixes by one sculptor. He is no
longer a peasant working out an idea, conveying a dogma. He is an
artist, trained and conscious, probably working in Vienna. He is
consciously trying to convey a _feeling_, he is no longer striving
awkwardly to render a truth, a religious fact.

The chief of his crucifixes stands deep in the Klamm, in the dank gorge
where it is always half-night. The road runs under the rock and the
trees, half-way up the one side of the pass. Below, the stream rushes
ceaselessly, embroiled among great stones, making an endless loud noise.
The rock face opposite rises high overhead, with the sky far up. So that
one is walking in a half-night, an underworld. And just below the path,
where the pack-horses go climbing to the remote, infolded villages, in
the cold gloom of the pass hangs the large, pale Christ. He is larger
than life-size. He has fallen forward, just dead, and the weight of the
full-grown, mature body hangs on the nails of the hands. So the dead,
heavy body drops forward, sags, as if it would tear away and fall under
its own weight.

It is the end. The face is barren with a dead expression of weariness,
and brutalized with pain and bitterness. The rather ugly, passionate
mouth is set for ever in the disillusionment of death. Death is the
complete disillusionment, set like a seal over the whole body and being,
over the suffering and weariness and the bodily passion.

The pass is gloomy and damp, the water roars unceasingly, till it is
almost like a constant pain. The driver of the pack-horses, as he comes
up the narrow path in the side of the gorge, cringes his sturdy
cheerfulness as if to obliterate himself, drawing near to the large,
pale Christ, and he takes his hat off as he passes, though he does not
look up, but keeps his face averted from the crucifix. He hurries by in
the gloom, climbing the steep path after his horses, and the large white
Christ hangs extended above.

The driver of the pack-horses is afraid. The fear is always there in
him, in spite of his sturdy, healthy robustness. His soul is not sturdy.
It is blenched and whitened with fear. The mountains are dark overhead,
the water roars in the gloom below. His heart is ground between the
mill-stones of dread. When he passes the extended body of the dead
Christ he takes off his hat to the Lord of Death. Christ is the Deathly
One, He is Death incarnate.

And the driver of the pack-horses acknowledges this deathly Christ as
supreme Lord. The mountain peasant seems grounded upon fear, the fear of
death, of physical death. Beyond this he knows nothing. His supreme
sensation is in physical pain, and in its culmination. His great climax,
his consummation, is death. Therefore he worships it, bows down before
it, and is fascinated by it all the while. It is his fulfilment, death,
and his approach to fulfilment is through physical pain.

And so these monuments to physical death are found everywhere in the
valleys. By the same hand that carved the big Christ, a little further
on, at the end of a bridge, was another crucifix, a small one. This
Christ had a fair beard, and was thin, and his body was hanging almost
lightly, whereas the other Christ was large and dark and handsome. But
in this, as well as in the other, was the same neutral triumph of death,
complete, negative death, so complete as to be abstract, beyond cynicism
in its completeness of leaving off.

Everywhere is the same obsession with the fact of physical pain,
accident, and sudden death. Wherever a misfortune has befallen a man,
there is nailed up a little memorial of the event, in propitiation of
the God of hurt and death. A man is standing up to his waist in water,
drowning in full stream, his arms in the air. The little painting in its
wooden frame is nailed to the tree, the spot is sacred to the accident.
Again, another little crude picture fastened to a rock: a tree, falling
on a man's leg, smashes it like a stalk, while the blood flies up.
Always there is the strange ejaculation of anguish and fear, perpetuated
in the little paintings nailed up in the place of the disaster.

This is the worship, then, the worship of death and the approaches to
death, physical violence, and pain. There is something crude and
sinister about it, almost like depravity, a form of reverting, turning
back along the course of blood by which we have come.

Turning the ridge on the great road to the south, the imperial road to
Rome, a decisive change takes place. The Christs have been taking on
various different characters, all of them more or less realistically
conveyed. One Christus is very elegant, combed and brushed and foppish
on his cross, as Gabriele D'Annunzio's son posing as a martyred saint.
The martyrdom of this Christ is according to the most polite convention.
The elegance is very important, and very Austrian. One might almost
imagine the young man had taken up this striking and original position
to create a delightful sensation among the ladies. It is quite in the
Viennese spirit. There is something brave and keen in it, too. The
individual pride of body triumphs over every difficulty in the
situation. The pride and satisfaction in the clean, elegant form, the
perfectly trimmed hair, the exquisite bearing, are more important than
the fact of death or pain. This may be foolish, it is at the same time
admirable.

But the tendency of the crucifix, as it nears the ridge to the south, is
to become weak and sentimental. The carved Christs turn up their faces
and roll back their eyes very piteously, in the approved Guido Reni
fashion. They are overdoing the pathetic turn. They are looking to
heaven and thinking about themselves, in self-commiseration. Others
again are beautiful as elegies. It is dead Hyacinth lifted and extended
to view, in all his beautiful, dead youth. The young, male body droops
forward on the cross, like a dead flower. It looks as if its only true
nature were to be dead. How lovely is death, how poignant, real,
satisfying! It is the true elegiac spirit.

Then there are the ordinary, factory-made Christs, which are not very
significant. They are as null as the Christs we see represented in
England, just vulgar nothingness. But these figures have gashes of red,
a red paint of blood, which is sensational.

Beyond the Brenner, I have only seen vulgar or sensational crucifixes.
There are great gashes on the breast and the knees of the Christ-figure,
and the scarlet flows out and trickles down, till the crucified body has
become a ghastly striped thing of red and white, just a sickly thing of
striped red.

They paint the rocks at the corners of the tracks, among the mountains;
a blue and white ring for the road to Ginzling, a red smear for the way
to St Jakob. So one follows the blue and white ring, or the three
stripes of blue and white, or the red smear, as the case may be. And the
red on the rocks, the dabs of red paint, are of just the same colour as
the red upon the crucifixes; so that the red upon the crucifixes is
paint, and the signs on the rocks are sensational, like blood.

I remember the little brooding Christ of the Isar, in his little cloak
of red flannel and his crown of gilded thorns, and he remains real and
dear to me, among all this violence of representation.

'_Couvre-toi de gloire, Tartarin--couvre-toi de flanelle._' Why should
it please me so that his cloak is of red flannel?

In a valley near St Jakob, just over the ridge, a long way from the
railway, there is a very big, important shrine by the roadside. It is a
chapel built in the baroque manner, florid pink and cream outside, with
opulent small arches. And inside is the most startling sensational
Christus I have ever seen. He is a big, powerful man, seated after the
crucifixion, perhaps after the resurrection, sitting by the grave. He
sits sideways, as if the extremity were over, finished, the agitation
done with, only the result of the experience remaining. There is some
blood on his powerful, naked, defeated body, that sits rather hulked.
But it is the face which is so terrifying. It is slightly turned over
the hulked, crucified shoulder, to look. And the look of this face, of
which the body has been killed, is beyond all expectation horrible. The
eyes look at one, yet have no seeing in them, they seem to see only
their own blood. For they are bloodshot till the whites are scarlet, the
iris is purpled. These red, bloody eyes with their stained pupils,
glancing awfully at all who enter the shrine, looking as if to see
through the blood of the late brutal death, are terrible. The naked,
strong body has known death, and sits in utter dejection, finished,
hulked, a weight of shame. And what remains of life is in the face,
whose expression is sinister and gruesome, like that of an unrelenting
criminal violated by torture. The criminal look of misery and hatred on
the fixed, violated face and in the bloodshot eyes is almost impossible.
He is conquered, beaten, broken, his body is a mass of torture, an
unthinkable shame. Yet his will remains obstinate and ugly, integral
with utter hatred.

It is a great shock to find this figure sitting in a handsome, baroque,
pink-washed shrine in one of those Alpine valleys which to our thinking
are all flowers and romance, like the picture in the Tate Gallery.
'Spring in the Austrian Tyrol' is to our minds a vision of pristine
loveliness. It contains also this Christ of the heavy body defiled by
torture and death, the strong, virile life overcome by physical
violence, the eyes still looking back bloodshot in consummate hate
and misery.

The shrine was well kept and evidently much used. It was hung with
ex-voto limbs and with many gifts. It was a centre of worship, of a sort
of almost obscene worship. Afterwards the black pine-trees and the river
of that valley seemed unclean, as if an unclean spirit lived there. The
very flowers seemed unnatural, and the white gleam on the mountain-tops
was a glisten of supreme, cynical horror.

After this, in the populous valleys, all the crucifixes were more or
less tainted and vulgar. Only high up, where the crucifix becomes
smaller and smaller, is there left any of the old beauty and religion.
Higher and higher, the monument becomes smaller and smaller, till in the
snows it stands out like a post, or a thick arrow stuck barb upwards.
The crucifix itself is a small thing under the pointed hood, the barb of
the arrow. The snow blows under the tiny shed, upon the little, exposed
Christ. All round is the solid whiteness of snow, the awful curves and
concaves of pure whiteness of the mountain top, the hollow whiteness
between the peaks, where the path crosses the high, extreme ridge of the
pass. And here stands the last crucifix, half buried, small and tufted
with snow. The guides tramp slowly, heavily past, not observing the
presence of the symbol, making no salute. Further down, every mountain
peasant lifted his hat. But the guide tramps by without concern. His is
a professional importance now.

On a small mountain track on the Jaufen, not far from Meran, was a
fallen Christus. I was hurrying downhill to escape from an icy wind
which almost took away my consciousness, and I was looking up at the
gleaming, unchanging snow-peaks all round. They seemed like blades
immortal in the sky. So I almost ran into a very old Martertafel. It
leaned on the cold, stony hillside surrounded by the white peaks in the
upper air.

The wooden hood was silver-grey with age, and covered, on the top, with
a thicket of lichen, which stuck up in hoary tufts. But on the rock at
the foot of the post was the fallen Christ, armless, who had tumbled
down and lay in an unnatural posture, the naked, ancient wooden
sculpture of the body on the naked, living rock. It was one of the old
uncouth Christs hewn out of bare wood, having the long, wedge-shaped
limbs and thin flat legs that are significant of the true spirit, the
desire to convey a religious truth, not a sensational experience.

The arms of the fallen Christ had broken off at the shoulders, and they
hung on their nails, as ex-voto limbs hang in the shrines. But these
arms dangled from the palms, one at each end of the cross, the muscles,
carved sparely in the old wood, looking all wrong, upside down. And the
icy wind blew them backwards and forwards, so that they gave a painful
impression, there in the stark, sterile place of rock and cold. Yet I
dared not touch the fallen body of the Christ, that lay on its back in
so grotesque a posture at the foot of the post. I wondered who would
come and take the broken thing away, and for what purpose.




_On the Lago di Garda_



_1_

THE SPINNER AND THE MONKS


The Holy Spirit is a Dove, or an Eagle. In the Old Testament it was an
Eagle; in the New Testament it is a Dove.

And there are, standing over the Christian world, the Churches of the
Dove and the Churches of the Eagle. There are, moreover, the Churches
which do not belong to the Holy Spirit at all, but which are built to
pure fancy and logic; such as the Wren Churches in London.

The Churches of the Dove are shy and hidden: they nestle among trees,
and their bells sound in the mellowness of Sunday; or they are gathered
into a silence of their own in the very midst of the town, so that one
passes them by without observing them; they are as if invisible,
offering no resistance to the storming of the traffic.

But the Churches of the Eagle stand high, with their heads to the skies,
as if they challenged the world below. They are the Churches of the
Spirit of David, and their bells ring passionately, imperiously, falling
on the subservient world below.

The Church of San Francesco was a Church of the Dove. I passed it
several times in the dark, silent little square, without knowing it was
a church. Its pink walls were blind, windowless, unnoticeable, it gave
no sign, unless one caught sight of the tan curtain hanging in the door,
and the slit of darkness beneath. Yet it was the chief church of
the village.

But the Church of San Tommaso perched over the village. Coming down the
cobbled, submerged street, many a time I looked up between the houses
and saw the thin old church standing above in the light, as if it
perched on the house-roofs. Its thin grey neck was held up stiffly,
beyond was a vision of dark foliage, and the high hillside.

I saw it often, and yet for a long time it never occurred to me that it
actually existed. It was like a vision, a thing one does not expect to
come close to. It was there standing away upon the house-tops, against a
glamour of foliaged hillside. I was submerged in the village, on the
uneven, cobbled street, between old high walls and cavernous shops and
the houses with flights of steps.

For a long time I knew how the day went, by the imperious clangour of
midday and evening bells striking down upon the houses and the edge of
the lake. Yet it did not occur to me to ask where these bells rang. Till
at last my everyday trance was broken in upon, and I knew the ringing of
the Church of San Tommaso. The church became a living connexion with me.

So I set out to find it, I wanted to go to it. It was very near. I could
see it from the piazza by the lake. And the village itself had only a
few hundreds of inhabitants. The church must be within a stone's throw.

Yet I could not find it. I went out of the back door of the house, into
the narrow gully of the back street. Women glanced down at me from the
top of the flights of steps, old men stood, half-turning, half-crouching
under the dark shadow of the walls, to stare. It was as if the strange
creatures of the under-shadow were looking at me. I was of
another element.

The Italian people are called 'Children of the Sun'. They might better
be called 'Children of the Shadow'. Their souls are dark and nocturnal.
If they are to be easy, they must be able to hide, to be hidden in lairs
and caves of darkness. Going through these tiny chaotic backways of the
village was like venturing through the labyrinth made by furtive
creatures, who watched from out of another element. And I was pale, and
clear, and evanescent, like the light, and they were dark, and close,
and constant, like the shadow.

So I was quite baffled by the tortuous, tiny, deep passages of the
village. I could not find my way. I hurried towards the broken end of a
street, where the sunshine and the olive trees looked like a mirage
before me. And there above me I saw the thin, stiff neck of old San
Tommaso, grey and pale in the sun. Yet I could not get up to the church,
I found myself again on the piazza.

Another day, however, I found a broken staircase, where weeds grew in
the gaps the steps had made in falling, and maidenhair hung on the
darker side of the wall. I went up unwillingly, because the Italians
used this old staircase as a privy, as they will any deep side-passage.

But I ran up the broken stairway, and came out suddenly, as by a
miracle, clean on the platform of my San Tommaso, in the
tremendous sunshine.

It was another world, the world of the eagle, the world of fierce
abstraction. It was all clear, overwhelming sunshine, a platform hung in
the light. Just below were the confused, tiled roofs of the village, and
beyond them the pale blue water, down below; and opposite, opposite my
face and breast, the clear, luminous snow of the mountain across the
lake, level with me apparently, though really much above.

I was in the skies now, looking down from my square terrace of cobbled
pavement, that was worn like the threshold of the ancient church. Round
the terrace ran a low, broad wall, the coping of the upper heaven where
I had climbed.

There was a blood-red sail like a butterfly breathing down on the blue
water, whilst the earth on the near side gave off a green-silver smoke
of olive trees, coming up and around the earth-coloured roofs.

It always remains to me that San Tommaso and its terrace hang suspended
above the village, like the lowest step of heaven, of Jacob's ladder.
Behind, the land rises in a high sweep. But the terrace of San Tommaso
is let down from heaven, and does not touch the earth.

I went into the church. It was very dark, and impregnated with centuries
of incense. It affected me like the lair of some enormous creature. My
senses were roused, they sprang awake in the hot, spiced darkness. My
skin was expectant, as if it expected some contact, some embrace, as if
it were aware of the contiguity of the physical world, the physical
contact with the darkness and the heavy, suggestive substance of the
enclosure. It was a thick, fierce darkness of the senses. But my
soul shrank.

I went out again. The pavemented threshold was clear as a jewel, the
marvellous clarity of sunshine that becomes blue in the height seemed to
distil me into itself.

Across, the heavy mountain crouched along the side of the lake, the
upper half brilliantly white, belonging to the sky, the lower half dark
and grim. So, then, that is where heaven and earth are divided. From
behind me, on the left, the headland swept down out of a great,
pale-grey, arid height, through a rush of russet and crimson, to the
olive smoke and the water of the level earth. And between, like a blade
of the sky cleaving the earth asunder, went the pale-blue lake, cleaving
mountain from mountain with the triumph of the sky.

Then I noticed that a big, blue-checked cloth was spread on the parapet
before me, over the parapet of heaven. I wondered why it hung there.

Turning round, on the other side of the terrace, under a caper-bush that
hung like a blood-stain from the grey wall above her, stood a little
grey woman whose fingers were busy. Like the grey church, she made me
feel as if I were not in existence. I was wandering by the parapet of
heaven, looking down. But she stood back against the solid wall, under
the caper-bush, unobserved and unobserving. She was like a fragment of
earth, she was a living stone of the terrace, sun-bleached. She took no
notice of me, who was hesitating looking down at the earth beneath. She
stood back under the sun-bleached solid wall, like a stone rolled down
and stayed in a crevice.

Her head was tied in a dark-red kerchief, but pieces of hair, like dirty
snow, quite short, stuck out over her ears. And she was spinning. I
wondered so much, that I could not cross towards her. She was grey, and
her apron, and her dress, and her kerchief, and her hands and her face
were all sun-bleached and sun-stained, greyey, bluey, browny, like
stones and half-coloured leaves, sunny in their colourlessness. In my
black coat, I felt myself wrong, false, an outsider.

She was spinning, spontaneously, like a little wind. Under her arm she
held a distaff of dark, ripe wood, just a straight stick with a clutch
at the end, like a grasp of brown fingers full of a fluff of blackish,
rusty fleece, held up near her shoulder. And her fingers were plucking
spontaneously at the strands of wool drawn down from it. And hanging
near her feet, spinning round upon a black thread, spinning busily, like
a thing in a gay wind, was her shuttle, her bobbin wound fat with the
coarse, blackish worsted she was making.

All the time, like motion without thought, her fingers teased out the
fleece, drawing it down to a fairly uniform thickness: brown, old,
natural fingers that worked as in a sleep, the thumb having a long grey
nail; and from moment to moment there was a quick, downward rub, between
thumb and forefinger, of the thread that hung in front of her apron, the
heavy bobbin spun more briskly, and she felt again at the fleece as she
drew it down, and she gave a twist to the thread that issued, and the
bobbin spun swiftly.

Her eyes were clear as the sky, blue, empyrean, transcendent. They were
dear, but they had no looking in them. Her face was like a
sun-worn stone.

'You are spinning,' I said to her.

Her eyes glanced over me, making no effort of attention.

'Yes,' she said.

She saw merely a man's figure, a stranger standing near. I was a bit of
the outside, negligible. She remained as she was, clear and sustained
like an old stone upon the hillside. She stood short and sturdy, looking
for the most part straight in front, unseeing, but glancing from time to
time, with a little, unconscious attention, at the thread. She was
slightly more animated than the sunshine and the stone and the
motionless caper-bush above her. Still her fingers went along the strand
of fleece near her breast.

'That is an old way of spinning,' I said.

'What?'

She looked up at me with eyes clear and transcendent as the heavens. But
she was slightly roused. There was the slight motion of the eagle in her
turning to look at me, a faint gleam of rapt light in her eyes. It was
my unaccustomed Italian.

'That is an old way of spinning,' I repeated.

'Yes--an old way,' she repeated, as if to say the words so that they
should be natural to her. And I became to her merely a transient
circumstance, a man, part of the surroundings. We divided the gift of
speech, that was all.

She glanced at me again, with her wonderful, unchanging eyes, that were
like the visible heavens, unthinking, or like two flowers that are open
in pure clear unconsciousness. To her I was a piece of the environment.
That was all. Her world was clear and absolute, without consciousness of
self. She was not self-conscious, because she was not aware that there
was anything in the universe except _her_ universe. In her universe I
was a stranger, a foreign _signore_. That I had a world of my own, other
than her own, was not conceived by her. She did not care.

So we conceive the stars. We are told that they are other worlds. But
the stars are the clustered and single gleaming lights in the night-sky
of our world. When I come home at night, there are the stars. When I
cease to exist as the microcosm, when I begin to think of the cosmos,
then the stars are other worlds. Then the macrocosm absorbs me. But the
macrocosm is not me. It is something which I, the microcosm, am not.

So that there is something which is unknown to me and which nevertheless
exists. I am finite, and my understanding has limits. The universe is
bigger than I shall ever see, in mind or spirit. There is that which
is not me.

If I say 'The planet Mars is inhabited,' I do not know what I mean by
'inhabited', with reference to the planet Mars. I can only mean that
that world is not my world. I can only know there is that which is not
me. I am the microcosm, but the macrocosm is that also which I am not.

The old woman on the terrace in the sun did not know this. She was
herself the core and centre to the world, the sun, and the single
firmament. She knew that I was an inhabitant of lands which she had
never seen. But what of that! There were parts of her own body which she
had never seen, which physiologically she could never see. They were
none the less her own because she had never seen them. The lands she had
not seen were corporate parts of her own living body, the knowledge she
had not attained was only the hidden knowledge of her own self. She
_was_ the substance of the knowledge, whether she had the knowledge in
her mind or not. There was nothing which was not herself, ultimately.
Even the man, the male, was part of herself. He was the mobile, separate
part, but he was none the less herself because he was sometimes severed
from her. If every apple in the world were cut in two, the apple would
not be changed. The reality is the apple, which is just the same in the
half-apple as in the whole.

And she, the old spinning-woman, was the apple, eternal, unchangeable,
whole even in her partiality. It was this which gave the wonderful clear
unconsciousness to her eyes. How could she be conscious of herself when
all was herself?

She was talking to me of a sheep that had died, but I could not
understand because of her dialect. It never occurred to her that I could
not understand. She only thought me different, stupid. And she talked
on. The ewes had lived under the house, and a part was divided off for
the he-goat, because the other people brought their she-goats to be
covered by the he-goat. But how the ewe came to die I could not
make out.

Her fingers worked away all the time in a little, half-fretful movement,
yet spontaneous as butterflies leaping here and there. She chattered
rapidly on in her Italian that I could not understand, looking meanwhile
into my face, because the story roused her somewhat. Yet not a feature
moved. Her eyes remained candid and open and unconscious as the skies.
Only a sharp will in them now and then seemed to gleam at me, as if to
dominate me.

Her shuttle had caught in a dead chicory plant, and spun no more. She
did not notice. I stooped and broke off the twigs. There was a glint of
blue on them yet. Seeing what I was doing, she merely withdrew a few
inches from the plant. Her bobbin hung free.

She went on with her tale, looking at me wonderfully. She seemed like
the Creation, like the beginning of the world, the first morning. Her
eyes were like the first morning of the world, so ageless.

Her thread broke. She seemed to take no notice, but mechanically picked
up the shuttle, wound up a length of worsted, connected the ends from
her wool strand, set the bobbin spinning again, and went on talking, in
her half-intimate, half-unconscious fashion, as if she were talking to
her own world in me.

So she stood in the sunshine on the little platform, old and yet like
the morning, erect and solitary, sun-coloured, sun-discoloured, whilst I
at her elbow, like a piece of night and moonshine, stood smiling into
her eyes, afraid lest she should deny me existence.

Which she did. She had stopped talking, did not look at me any more, but
went on with her spinning, the brown shuttle twisting gaily. So she
stood, belonging to the sunshine and the weather, taking no more notice
of me than of the dark-stained caper-bush which hung from the wall above
her head, whilst I, waiting at her side, was like the moon in the
daytime sky, overshone, obliterated, in spite of my black clothes.

'How long has it taken you to do that much?' I asked.

She waited a minute, glanced at her bobbin.

'This much? I don't know. A day or two.'

'But you do it quickly.'

She looked at me, as if suspiciously and derisively. Then, quite
suddenly, she started forward and went across the terrace to the great
blue-and-white checked cloth that was drying on the wall. I hesitated.
She had cut off her consciousness from me. So I turned and ran away,
taking the steps two at a time, to get away from her. In a moment I was
between the walls, climbing upwards, hidden.

The schoolmistress had told me I should find snowdrops behind San
Tommaso. If she had not asserted such confident knowledge I should have
doubted her translation of _perce-neige_. She meant Christmas roses all
the while.

However, I went looking for snowdrops. The walls broke down suddenly,
and I was out in a grassy olive orchard, following a track beside pieces
of fallen overgrown masonry. So I came to skirt the brink of a steep
little gorge, at the bottom of which a stream was rushing down its steep
slant to the lake. Here I stood to look for my snowdrops. The grassy,
rocky bank went down steep from my feet. I heard water tittle-tattling
away in deep shadow below. There were pale flecks in the dimness, but
these, I knew, were primroses. So I scrambled down.

Looking up, out of the heavy shadow that lay in the cleft, I could see,
right in the sky, grey rocks shining transcendent in the pure empyrean.
'Are they so far up?' I thought. I did not dare to say, 'Am I so far
down?' But I was uneasy. Nevertheless it was a lovely place, in the cold
shadow, complete; when one forgot the shining rocks far above, it was a
complete, shadowless world of shadow. Primroses were everywhere in nests
of pale bloom upon the dark, steep face of the cleft, and tongues of
fern hanging out, and here and there under the rods and twigs of bushes
were tufts of wrecked Christmas roses, nearly over, but still, in the
coldest corners, the lovely buds like handfuls of snow. There had been
such crowded sumptuous tufts of Christmas roses everywhere in the
stream-gullies, during the shadow of winter, that these few remaining
flowers were hardly noticeable.

I gathered instead the primroses, that smelled of earth and of the
weather. There were no snowdrops. I had found the day before a bank of
crocuses, pale, fragile, lilac-coloured flowers with dark veins,
pricking up keenly like myriad little lilac-coloured flames among the
grass, under the olive trees. And I wanted very much to find the
snowdrops hanging in the gloom. But there were not any.

I gathered a handful of primroses, then I climbed suddenly, quickly out
of the deep watercourse, anxious to get back to the sunshine before the
evening fell. Up above I saw the olive trees in the sunny golden grass,
and sunlit grey rocks immensely high up. I was afraid lest the evening
would fall whilst I was groping about like an otter in the damp and the
darkness, that the day of sunshine would be over.

Soon I was up in the sunshine again, on the turf under the olive trees,
reassured. It was the upper world of glowing light, and I was
safe again.

All the olives were gathered, and the mills were going night and day,
making a great, acrid scent of olive oil in preparation, by the lake.
The little stream rattled down. A mule driver 'Hued!' to his mules on
the Strada Vecchia. High up, on the Strada Nuova, the beautiful, new,
military high-road, which winds with beautiful curves up the
mountain-side, crossing the same stream several times in clear-leaping
bridges, travelling cut out of sheer slope high above the lake, winding
beautifully and gracefully forward to the Austrian frontier, where it
ends: high up on the lovely swinging road, in the strong evening
sunshine, I saw a bullock wagon moving like a vision, though the
clanking of the wagon and the crack of the bullock whip responded close
in my ears.

Everything was clear and sun-coloured up there, clear-grey rocks
partaking of the sky, tawny grass and scrub, browny-green spires of
cypresses, and then the mist of grey-green olives fuming down to the
lake-side. There was no shadow, only clear sun-substance built up to the
sky, a bullock wagon moving slowly in the high sunlight, along the
uppermost terrace of the military road. It sat in the warm stillness of
the transcendent afternoon.

The four o'clock steamer was creeping down the lake from the Austrian
end, creeping under the cliffs. Far away, the Verona side, beyond the
Island, lay fused in dim gold. The mountain opposite was so still, that
my heart seemed to fade in its beating as if it too would be still. All
was perfectly still, pure substance. The little steamer on the floor of
the world below, the mules down the road cast no shadow. They too were
pure sun-substance travelling on the surface of the sun-made world.

A cricket hopped near me. Then I remembered that it was Saturday
afternoon, when a strange suspension comes over the world. And then,
just below me, I saw two monks walking in their garden between the
naked, bony vines, walking in their wintry garden of bony vines and
olive trees, their brown cassocks passing between the brown vine-stocks,
their heads bare to the sunshine, sometimes a glint of light as their
feet strode from under their skirts.

It was so still, everything so perfectly suspended, that I felt them
talking. They marched with the peculiar march of monks, a long, loping
stride, their heads together, their skirts swaying slowly, two brown
monks with hidden hands, sliding under the bony vines and beside the
cabbages, their heads always together in hidden converse. It was as if I
were attending with my dark soul to their inaudible undertone. All the
time I sat still in silence, I was one with them, a partaker, though I
could hear no sound of their voices. I went with the long stride of
their skirted feet, that slid springless and noiseless from end to end
of the garden, and back again. Their hands were kept down at their
sides, hidden in the long sleeves, and the skirts of their robes. They
did not touch each other, nor gesticulate as they walked. There was no
motion save the long, furtive stride and the heads leaning together. Yet
there was an eagerness in their conversation. Almost like
shadow-creatures ventured out of their cold, obscure element, they went
backwards and forwards in their wintry garden, thinking nobody could
see them.

Across, above them, was the faint, rousing dazzle of snow. They never
looked up. But the dazzle of snow began to glow as they walked, the
wonderful, faint, ethereal flush of the long range of snow in the
heavens, at evening, began to kindle. Another world was coming to pass,
the cold, rare night. It was dawning in exquisite, icy rose upon the
long mountain-summit opposite. The monks walked backwards and forwards,
talking, in the first undershadow.

And I noticed that up above the snow, frail in the bluish sky, a frail
moon had put forth, like a thin, scalloped film of ice floated out on
the slow current of the coming night. And a bell sounded.

And still the monks were pacing backwards and forwards, backwards and
forwards, with a strange, neutral regularity.

The shadows were coming across everything, because of the mountains in
the west. Already the olive wood where I sat was extinguished. This was
the world of the monks, the rim of pallor between night and day. Here
they paced, backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards, in the
neutral, shadowless light of shadow.

Neither the flare of day nor the completeness of night reached them,
they paced the narrow path of the twilight, treading in the neutrality
of the law. Neither the blood nor the spirit spoke in them, only the
law, the abstraction of the average. The infinite is positive and
negative. But the average is only neutral. And the monks trod backward
and forward down the line of neutrality.

Meanwhile, on the length of mountain-ridge, the snow grew
rosy-incandescent, like heaven breaking into blossom. After all, eternal
not-being and eternal being are the same. In the rosy snow that shone in
heaven over a darkened earth was the ecstasy of consummation. Night and
day are one, light and dark are one, both the same in the origin and in
the issue, both the same in the moment, of ecstasy, light fused in
darkness and darkness fused in light, as in the rosy snow above
the twilight.

But in the monks it was not ecstasy, in them it was neutrality, the
under earth. Transcendent, above the shadowed, twilit earth was the rosy
snow of ecstasy. But spreading far over us, down below, was the
neutrality of the twilight, of the monks. The flesh neutralizing the
spirit, the spirit neutralizing the flesh, the law of the average
asserted, this was the monks as they paced backward and forward.

The moon climbed higher, away from the snowy, fading ridge, she became
gradually herself. Between the roots of the olive tree was a rosy-tipped
daisy just going to sleep. I gathered it and put it among the frail,
moony little bunch of primroses, so that its sleep should warm the rest.
Also I put in some little periwinkles, that were very blue, reminding me
of the eyes of the old woman.

The day was gone, the twilight was gone, and the snow was invisible as I
came down to the side of the lake. Only the moon, white and shining, was
in the sky, like a woman glorying in her own loveliness as she loiters
superbly to the gaze of all the world, looking sometimes through the
fringe of dark olive leaves, sometimes looking at her own superb,
quivering body, wholly naked in the water of the lake.

My little old woman was gone. She, all day-sunshine, would have none of
the moon. Always she must live like a bird, looking down on all the
world at once, so that it lay all subsidiary to herself, herself the
wakeful consciousness hovering over the world like a hawk, like a sleep
of wakefulness. And, like a bird, she went to sleep as the shadows came.

She did not know the yielding up of the senses and the possession of the
unknown, through the senses, which happens under a superb moon. The
all-glorious sun knows none of these yieldings up. He takes his way. And
the daisies at once go to sleep. And the soul of the old spinning-woman
also closed up at sunset, the rest was a sleep, a cessation.

It is all so strange and varied: the dark-skinned Italians ecstatic in
the night and the moon, the blue-eyed old woman ecstatic in the busy
sunshine, the monks in the garden below, who are supposed to unite both,
passing only in the neutrality of the average. Where, then, is the
meeting-point: where in mankind is the ecstasy of light and dark
together, the supreme transcendence of the afterglow, day hovering in
the embrace of the coming night like two angels embracing in the
heavens, like Eurydice in the arms of Orpheus, or Persephone embraced
by Pluto?

Where is the supreme ecstasy in mankind, which makes day a delight and
night a delight, purpose an ecstasy and a concourse in ecstasy, and
single abandon of the single body and soul also an ecstasy under the
moon? Where is the transcendent knowledge in our hearts, uniting sun and
darkness, day and night, spirit and senses? Why do we not know that the
two in consummation are one; that each is only part; partial and alone
for ever; but that the two in consummation are perfect, beyond the range
of loneliness or solitude?



_2_

THE LEMON GARDENS


The padrone came just as we were drinking coffee after dinner. It was
two o'clock, because the steamer going down the lake to Desenzano had
bustled through the sunshine, and the rocking of the water still made
lights that danced up and down upon the wall among the shadows by
the piano.

The signore was very apologetic. I found him bowing in the hall, cap in
one hand, a slip of paper in the other, protesting eagerly, in broken
French, against disturbing me.

He is a little, shrivelled man, with close-cropped grey hair on his
skull, and a protruding jaw, which, with his gesticulations, always
makes me think of an ancient, aristocratic monkey. The signore is a
gentleman, and the last, shrivelled representative of his race. His only
outstanding quality, according to the villagers, is his avarice.

_'Mais--mais, monsieur--je crains que--que--que je vous dérange--'_

He spreads wide his hands and bows, looking up at me with implicit brown
eyes, so ageless in his wrinkled, monkey's face, like onyx. He loves to
speak French, because then he feels grand. He has a queer, naïve,
ancient passion to be grand. As the remains of an impoverished family,
he is not much better than a well-to-do peasant. But the old spirit is
eager and pathetic in him.

He loves to speak French to me. He holds his chin and waits, in his
anxiety for the phrase to come. Then it stammers forth, a little rush,
ending in Italian. But his pride is all on edge: we must continue
in French.

The hall is cold, yet he will not come into the large room. This is not
a courtesy visit. He is not here in his quality of gentleman. He is only
an anxious villager.

'_Voyez, monsieur--cet--cet--qu'est-ce que--qu'est-ce que veut dire
cet--cela?_'

He shows me the paper. It is an old scrap of print, the picture of an
American patent door-spring, with directions: 'Fasten the spring either
end up. Wind it up. Never unwind.'

It is laconic and American. The signore watches me anxiously, waiting,
holding his chin. He is afraid he ought to understand my English. I
stutter off into French, confounded by the laconic phrases of the
directions. Nevertheless, I make it clear what the paper says.

He cannot believe me. It must say something else as well. He has not
done anything contrary to these directions. He is most distressed.

'_Mais, monsieur, la porte--la porte--elle ferme_ pas--_elle s'ouvre_--'

He skipped to the door and showed me the whole tragic mystery. The door,
it is shut--_ecco_! He releases the catch, and pouf!--she flies open.
She flies _open_. It is quite final.

The brown, expressionless, ageless eyes, that remind me of a monkey's,
or of onyx, wait for me. I feel the responsibility devolve upon me. I
am anxious.

'Allow me,' I said, 'to come and look at the door.'

I feel uncomfortably like Sherlock Holmes. The padrone protests--_non,
monsieur, non, cela vous dérange_--that he only wanted me to translate
the words, he does not want to disturb me. Nevertheless, we go. I feel I
have the honour of mechanical England in my hands.

The Casa di Paoli is quite a splendid place. It is large, pink and
cream, rising up to a square tower in the centre, throwing off a painted
loggia at either extreme of the façade. It stands a little way back from
the road, just above the lake, and grass grows on the bay of cobbled
pavement in front. When at night the moon shines full on this pale
façade, the theatre is far outdone in staginess.

The hall is spacious and beautiful, with great glass doors at either
end, through which shine the courtyards where bamboos fray the sunlight
and geraniums glare red. The floor is of soft red tiles, oiled and
polished like glass, the walls are washed grey-white, the ceiling is
painted with pink roses and birds. This is half-way between the outer
world and the interior world, it partakes of both.

The other rooms are dark and ugly. There is no mistake about their being
interior. They are like furnished vaults. The red-tiled, polished floor
in the drawing-room seems cold and clammy, the carved, cold furniture
stands in its tomb, the air has been darkened and starved to death, it
is perished.

Outside, the sunshine runs like birds singing. Up above, the grey rocks
build the sun-substance in heaven, San Tommaso guards the terrace. But
inside here is the immemorial shadow.

Again I had to think of the Italian soul, how it is dark, cleaving to
the eternal night. It seems to have become so, at the Renaissance, after
the Renaissance.

In the Middle Ages Christian Europe seems to have been striving, out of
a strong, primitive, animal nature, towards the self-abnegation and the
abstraction of Christ. This brought about by itself a great sense of
completeness. The two halves were joined by the effort towards the one
as yet unrealized. There was a triumphant joy in the Whole.

But the movement all the time was in one direction, towards the
elimination of the flesh. Man wanted more and more to become purely free
and abstract. Pure freedom was in pure abstraction. The Word was
absolute. When man became as the Word, a pure law, then he was free.

But when this conclusion was reached, the movement broke. Already
Botticelli painted Aphrodite, queen of the senses, supreme along with
Mary, Queen of Heaven. And Michelangelo suddenly turned back on the
whole Christian movement, back to the flesh. The flesh was supreme and
god-like, in the oneness of the flesh, in the oneness of our physical
being, we are one with God, with the Father. God the Father created man
in the flesh, in His own image. Michelangelo swung right back to the old
Mosaic position. Christ did not exist. To Michelangelo there was no
salvation in the spirit. There was God the Father, the Begetter, the
Author of all flesh. And there was the inexorable law of the flesh, the
Last Judgement, the fall of the immortal flesh into Hell.

This has been the Italian position ever since. The mind, that is the
Light; the senses, they are the Darkness. Aphrodite, the queen of the
senses, she, born of the sea-foam, is the luminousness of the gleaming
senses, the phosphorescence of the sea, the senses become a conscious
aim unto themselves; she is the gleaming darkness, she is the luminous
night, she is goddess of destruction, her white, cold fire consumes and
does not create.

This is the soul of the Italian since the Renaissance. In the sunshine
he basks asleep, gathering up a vintage into his veins which in the
night-time he will distil into ecstatic sensual delight, the intense,
white-cold ecstasy of darkness and moonlight, the raucous, cat-like,
destructive enjoyment, the senses conscious and crying out in their
consciousness in the pangs of the enjoyment, which has consumed the
southern nation, perhaps all the Latin races, since the Renaissance.

It is a lapse back, back to the original position, the Mosaic position,
of the divinity of the flesh, and the absoluteness of its laws. But also
there is the Aphrodite-worship. The flesh, the senses, are now
self-conscious. They know their aim. Their aim is in supreme sensation.
They seek the maximum of sensation. They seek the reduction of the
flesh, the flesh reacting upon itself, to a crisis, an ecstasy, a
phosphorescent transfiguration in ecstasy.

The mind, all the time, subserves the senses. As in a cat, there is
subtlety and beauty and the dignity of the darkness. But the fire is
cold, as in the eyes of a cat, it is a green fire. It is fluid,
electric. At its maximum it is the white ecstasy of phosphorescence, in
the darkness, always amid the darkness, as under the black fur of a cat.
Like the feline fire, it is destructive, always consuming and reducing
to the ecstasy of sensation, which is the end in itself.

There is the I, always the I. And the mind is submerged, overcome. But
the senses are superbly arrogant. The senses are the absolute, the
god-like. For I can never have another man's senses. These are me, my
senses absolutely me. And all that is can only come to me through my
senses. So that all is me, and is administered unto me. The rest, that
is not me, is nothing, it is something which is nothing. So the Italian,
through centuries, has avoided our Northern purposive industry, because
it has seemed to him a form of nothingness.

It is the spirit of the tiger. The tiger is the supreme manifestation of
the senses made absolute. This is the

    Tiger, tiger burning bright,
    In the forests of the night

of Blake. It does indeed burn within the darkness. But the
_essential_ fate, of the tiger is cold and white, a white ecstasy.
It is seen in the white eyes of the blazing cat. This is the supremacy
of the flesh, which devours all, and becomes transfigured into a
magnificent brindled flame, a burning bush indeed.

This is one way of transfiguration into the eternal flame, the
transfiguration through ecstasy in the flesh. Like the tiger in the
night, I devour all flesh, I drink all blood, until this fuel blazes up
in me to the consummate fire of the Infinite. In the ecstacy I am
Infinite, I become again the great Whole, I am a flame of the One White
Flame which is the Infinite, the Eternal, the Originator, the Creator,
the Everlasting God. In the sensual ecstasy, having drunk all blood and
devoured all flesh, I am become again the eternal Fire, I am infinite.

This is the way of the tiger; the tiger is supreme. His head is
flattened as if there were some great weight on the hard skull,
pressing, pressing, pressing the mind into a stone, pressing it down
under the blood, to serve the blood. It is the subjugate instrument of
the blood. The will lies above the loins, as it were at the base of the
spinal column, there is the living will, the living mind of the tiger,
there in the slender loins. That is the node, there in the spinal cord.

So the Italian, so the soldier. This is the spirit of the soldier. He,
too, walks with his consciousness concentrated at the base of the spine,
his mind subjugated, submerged. The will of the soldier is the will of
the great cats, the will to ecstasy in destruction, in absorbing life
into his own life, always his own life supreme, till the ecstasy burst
into the white, eternal flame, the Infinite, the Flame of the Infinite.
Then he is satisfied, he has been consummated in the Infinite.

This is the true soldier, this is the immortal climax of the senses.
This is the acme of the flesh, the one superb tiger who has devoured all
living flesh, and now paces backwards and forwards in the cage of its
own infinite, glaring with blind, fierce, absorbed eyes at that which is
nothingness to it.

The eyes of the tiger cannot see, except with the light from within
itself, by the light of its own desire. Its own white, cold light is so
fierce that the other warm light of day is outshone, it is not, it does
not exist. So the white eyes of the tiger gleam to a point of
concentrated vision, upon that which does not exist. Hence its
terrifying sightlessness. The something which I know I am is hollow
space to its vision, offers no resistance to the tiger's looking. It can
only see of me that which it knows I am, a scent, a resistance, a
voluptuous solid, a struggling warm violence that it holds overcome, a
running of hot blood between its Jaws, a delicious pang of live flesh in
the mouth. This it sees. The rest is not.

And what is the rest, that which is-not the tiger, that which the tiger
is-not? What is this?

What is that which parted ways with the terrific eagle-like angel of the
senses at the Renaissance? The Italians said, 'We are one in the Father:
we will go back.' The Northern races said, 'We are one in Christ: we
will go on.'

What _is_ the consummation in Christ? Man knows satisfaction when he
surpasses all conditions and becomes, to himself, consummate in the
Infinite, when he reaches a state of infinity. In the supreme ecstasy
of the flesh, the Dionysic ecstasy, he reaches this state. But how does
it come to pass in Christ?

It is not the mystic ecstasy. The mystic ecstasy is a special sensual
ecstasy, it is the senses satisfying themselves with a self-created
object. It is self-projection into the self, the sensuous self satisfied
in a projected self.

    Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

    Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for
    theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The kingdom of heaven is this Infinite into which we may be consummated,
then, if we are poor in spirit or persecuted for righteousness' sake.

    Whosoever shall smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other
    also.

    Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that
    hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and
    persecute you.

    Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is
    perfect.

To be perfect, to be one with God, to be infinite and eternal, what
shall we do? We must turn the other cheek, and love our enemies.

Christ is the lamb which the eagle swoops down upon, the dove taken by
the hawk, the deer which the tiger devours.

What then, if a man come to me with a sword, to kill me, and I do not
resist him, but suffer his sword and the death from his sword, what am
I? Am I greater than he, am I stronger than he? Do I know a consummation
in the Infinite, I, the prey, beyond the tiger who devours me? By my
non-resistance I have robbed him of his consummation. For a tiger knows
no consummation unless he kill a violated and struggling prey. There is
no consummation merely for the butcher, nor for a hyena. I can rob the
tiger of his ecstasy, his consummation, his very __my non-resistance. In
my non-resistance the tiger is infinitely destroyed.

But I, what am I? 'Be ye therefore perfect.' Wherein am I perfect in
this submission? Is there an affirmation, behind my negation, other than
the tiger's affirmation of his own glorious infinity?

What is the Oneness to which I subscribe, I who offer no resistance in
the flesh?

Have I only the negative ecstasy of being devoured, of becoming thus
part of the Lord, the Great Moloch, the superb and terrible God? I have
this also, this subject ecstasy of consummation. But is there
nothing else?

The Word of the tiger is: my senses are supremely Me, and my senses are
God in me. But Christ said: God is in the others, who are not-me. In all
the multitude of the others is God, and this is the great God, greater
than the God which is Me. God is that which is Not-Me.

And this is the Christian truth, a truth complementary to the pagan
affirmation: 'God is that which is Me.'

God is that which is Not-Me. In realizing the Not-Me I am consummated, I
become infinite. In turning the other cheek I submit to God who is
greater than I am, other than I am, who is in that which is not me. This
is the supreme consummation. To achieve this consummation I love my
neighbour as myself. My neighbour is all that is not me. And if I love
all this, have I not become one with the Whole, is not my consummation
complete, am I not one with God, have I not achieved the Infinite?

After the Renaissance the Northern races continued forward to put into
practice this religious belief in the God which is Not-Me. Even the idea
of the saving of the soul was really negative: it was a question of
escaping damnation. The Puritans made the last great attack on the God
who is Me. When they beheaded Charles the First, the king by Divine
Right, they destroyed, symbolically, for ever, the supremacy of the Me
who am the image of God, the Me of the flesh, of the senses, Me, the
tiger burning bright, me the king, the Lord, the aristocrat, me who am
divine because I am the body of God.

After the Puritans, we have been gathering data for the God who is
not-me. When Pope said 'Know then thyself, presume not God to scan, The
proper study of mankind is Man,' he was stating the proposition: A man
is right, he is consummated, when he is seeking to know Man, the great
abstract; and the method of knowledge is by the analysis, which is the
destruction, of the Self. The proposition up to that time was, a man is
the epitome of the universe. He has only to express himself, to fulfil
his desires, to satisfy his supreme senses.

Now the change has come to pass. The individual man is a limited being,
finite in himself. Yet he is capable of apprehending that which is not
himself. 'The proper study of mankind is Man.' This is another way of
saying, 'Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.' Which means, a man
is consummated in his knowledge of that which is not himself, the
abstract Man. Therefore the consummation lies in seeking that other, in
knowing that other. Whereas the Stuart proposition was: 'A man is
consummated in expressing his own Self.'

The new spirit developed into the empirical and ideal systems of
philosophy. Everything that is, is consciousness. And in every man's
consciousness, Man is great and illimitable, whilst the individual is
small and fragmentary. Therefore the individual must sink himself in the
great whole of Mankind.

This is the spirituality of Shelley, the perfectibility of man. This is
the way in which we fulfil the commandment, 'Be ye therefore perfect,
even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.' This is Saint
Paul's, 'Now I know in part; but then shall I know even as I am known.'

When a man knows everything and understands everything, then he will be
perfect, and life will be blessed. He is capable of knowing everything
and understanding everything. Hence he is justified in his hope of
infinite freedom and blessedness.

The great inspiration of the new religion was the inspiration of
freedom. When I have submerged or distilled away my concrete body and my
limited desires, when I am like the skylark dissolved in the sky yet
filling heaven and earth with song, then I am perfect, consummated in
the Infinite. When I am all that is not-me, then I have perfect liberty,
I know no limitation. Only I must eliminate the Self.

It was this religious belief which expressed itself in science. Science
was the analysis of the outer self, the elementary substance of the
self, the outer world. And the machine is the great reconstructed
selfless power. Hence the active worship to which we were given at the
end of the last century, the worship of mechanized force.

Still we continue to worship that which is not-me, the Selfless world,
though we would fain bring in the Self to help us. We are shouting the
Shakespearean advice to warriors: 'Then simulate the action of the
tiger.' We are trying to become again the tiger, the supreme, imperial,
warlike Self. At the same time our ideal is the selfless world
of equity.

We continue to give service to the Selfless God, we worship the great
selfless oneness in the spirit, oneness in service of the great
humanity, that which is Not-Me. This selfless God is He who works for
all alike, without consideration. And His image is the machine which
dominates and cows us, we cower before it, we run to serve it. For it
works for all humanity alike.

At the same time, we want to be warlike tigers. That is the horror: the
confusing of the two ends. We warlike tigers fit ourselves out with
machinery, and our blazing tiger wrath is emitted through a machine. It
is a horrible thing to see machines hauled about by tigers, at the mercy
of tigers, forced to express the tiger. It is a still more horrible
thing to see tigers caught up and entangled and torn in machinery. It is
horrible, a chaos beyond chaos, an unthinkable hell.

The tiger is not wrong, the machine is not wrong, but we, liars,
lip-servers, duplicate fools, we are unforgivably wrong. We say: 'I will
be a tiger because I love mankind; out of love for other people, out of
selfless service to that which is not me, I will even become a tiger.'
Which is absurd. A tiger devours because it is consummated in devouring,
it achieves its absolute self in devouring. It does not devour because
its unselfish conscience bids it do so, for the sake of the other deer
and doves, or the other tigers.

Having arrived at the one extreme of mechanical selflessness, we
immediately embrace the other extreme of the transcendent Self. But we
try to be both at once. We do not cease to be the one before we become
the other. We do not even play the roles in turn. We want to be the
tiger and the deer both in one. Which is just ghastly nothingness. We
try to say, 'The tiger is the lamb and the lamb is the tiger.' Which is
nil, nihil, nought.

The padrone took me into a small room almost contained in the thickness
of the wall. There the Signora's dark eyes glared with surprise and
agitation, seeing me intrude. She is younger than the Signore, a mere
village tradesman's daughter, and, alas, childless.

It was quite true, the door stood open. Madame put down the screw-driver
and drew herself erect. Her eyes were a flame of excitement. This
question of a door-spring that made the door fly open when it should
make it close roused a vivid spark in her soul. It was she who was
wrestling with the angel of mechanism.

She was about forty years old, and flame-like and fierily sad. I think
she did not know she was sad. But her heart was eaten by some impotence
in her life.

She subdued her flame of life to the little padrone. He was strange and
static, scarcely human, ageless, like a monkey. She supported him with
her flame, supported his static, ancient, beautiful form, kept it
intact. But she did not believe in him.

Now, the Signora Gemma held her husband together whilst he undid the
screw that fixed the spring. If they had been alone, she would have done
it, pretending to be under his direction. But since I was there, he did
it himself; a grey, shaky, highly-bred little gentleman, standing on a
chair with a long screw-driver, whilst his wife stood behind him, her
hands half-raised to catch him if he should fall. Yet he was strangely
absolute, with a strange, intact force in his breeding.

They had merely adjusted the strong spring to the shut door, and
stretched it slightly in fastening it to the door-jamb, so that it drew
together the moment the latch was released, and the door flew open.

We soon made it right. There was a moment of anxiety, the screw was
fixed. And the door swung to. They were delighted. The Signora Gemma,
who roused in me an electric kind of melancholy, clasped her hands
together in ecstasy as the door swiftly shut itself.

'_Ecco!_' she cried, in her vibrating, almost warlike woman's voice:
'_Ecco!_'

Her eyes were aflame as they looked at the door. She ran forward to try
it herself. She opened the door expectantly, eagerly. Pouf!--it shut
with a bang.

'_Ecco!_' she cried, her voice quivering like bronze, overwrought but
triumphant.

I must try also. I opened the door. Pouf! It shut with a bang. We all
exclaimed with joy.

Then the Signor di Paoli turned to me, with a gracious, bland, formal
grin. He turned his back slightly on the woman, and stood holding his
chin, his strange horse-mouth grinning almost pompously at me. It was an
affair of gentlemen. His wife disappeared as if dismissed. Then the
padrone broke into cordial motion. We must drink.

He would show me the estate. I had already seen the house. We went out
by the glass doors on the left, into the domestic courtyard.

It was lower than the gardens round it, and the sunshine came through
the trellised arches on to the flagstones, where the grass grew fine and
green in the cracks, and all was deserted and spacious and still. There
were one or two orange-tubs in the light.

Then I heard a noise, and there in the corner, among all the pink
geraniums and the sunshine, the Signora Gemma sat laughing with a baby.
It was a fair, bonny thing of eighteen months. The Signora was
concentrated upon the child as he sat, stolid and handsome, in his
little white cap, perched on a bench picking at the pink geraniums.

She laughed, bent forward her dark face out of the shadow, swift into a
glitter of sunshine near the sunny baby, laughing again excitedly,
making mother-noises. The child took no notice of her. She caught him
swiftly into the shadow, and they were obscured; her dark head was
against the baby's wool jacket, she was kissing his neck, avidly, under
the creeper leaves. The pink geraniums still frilled joyously in
the sunshine.

I had forgotten the padrone. Suddenly I turned to him inquiringly.

'The Signora's nephew,' he explained, briefly, curtly, in a small voice.
It was as if he were ashamed, or too deeply chagrined.

The woman had seen us watching, so she came across the sunshine with the
child, laughing, talking to the baby, not coming out of her own world to
us, not acknowledging us, except formally.

The Signor Pietro, queer old horse, began to laugh and neigh at the
child, with strange, rancorous envy. The child twisted its face to cry.
The Signora caught it away, dancing back a few yards from her
old husband.

'I am a stranger,' I said to her across the distance. 'He is afraid of a
stranger.'

'No, no,' she cried back, her eyes flaring up. 'It is the man. He always
cries at the men.'

She advanced again, laughing and roused, with the child in her arms. Her
husband stood as if overcast, obliterated. She and I and the baby, in
the sunshine, laughed a moment. Then I heard the neighing, forced laugh
of the old man. He would not be left out. He seemed to force himself
forward. He was bitter, acrid with chagrin and obliteration, struggling
as if to assert his own existence. He was nullified.

The woman also was uncomfortable. I could see she wanted to go away with
the child, to enjoy him alone, with palpitating, pained enjoyment. It
was her brother's boy. And the old padrone was as if nullified by her
ecstasy over the baby. He held his chin, gloomy, fretful, unimportant.

He was annulled. I was startled when I realized it. It was as though his
reality were not attested till he had a child. It was as if his _raison
d'être_ had been to have a son. And he had no children. Therefore he had
no _raison d'être_. He was nothing, a shadow that vanishes into nothing.
And he was ashamed, consumed by his own nothingness.

I was startled. This, then, is the secret of Italy's attraction for us,
this phallic worship. To the Italian the phallus is the symbol of
individual creative immortality, to each man his own Godhead. The child
is but the evidence of the Godhead.

And this is why the Italian is attractive, supple, and beautiful,
because he worships the Godhead in the flesh. We envy him, we feel pale
and insignificant beside him. Yet at the same time we feel superior to
him, as if he were a child and we adult.

Wherein are we superior? Only because we went beyond the phallus in the
search of the Godhead, the creative origin. And we found the physical
forces and the secrets of science.

We have exalted Man far above the man who is in each one of us. Our aim
is a perfect humanity, a perfect and equable human consciousness,
selfless. And we obtain it in the subjection, reduction, analysis, and
destruction of the Self. So on we go, active in science and mechanics,
and social reform.

But we have exhausted ourselves in the process. We have found great
treasures, and we are now impotent to use them. So we have said: 'What
good are these treasures, they are vulgar nothings.' We have said: 'Let
us go back from this adventuring, let us enjoy our own flesh, like the
Italian.' But our habit of life, our very constitution, prevents our
being quite like the Italian. The phallus will never serve us as a
Godhead, because we do not believe in it: no Northern race does.
Therefore, either we set ourselves to serve our children, calling them
'the future', or else we turn perverse and destructive, give ourselves
joy in the destruction of the flesh.

The children are not the future. The living truth is the future. Time
and people do not make the future. Retrogression is not the future.
Fifty million children growing up purposeless, with no purpose save the
attainment of their own individual desires, these are not the future,
they are only a disintegration of the past. The future is in living,
growing truth, in advancing fulfilment.

But it is no good. Whatever we do, it is within the greater will towards
self-reduction and a perfect society, analysis on the one hand, and
mechanical construction on the other. This will dominates us as a whole,
and until the whole breaks down, the will must persist. So that now,
continuing in the old, splendid will for a perfect selfless humanity, we
have become inhuman and unable to help ourselves, we are but attributes
of the great mechanized society we have created on our way to
perfection. And this great mechanized society, being selfless, is
pitiless. It works on mechanically and destroys us, it is our master
and our God.

It is past the time to leave off, to cease entirely from what we are
doing, and from what we have been doing for hundreds of years. It is
past the time to cease seeking one Infinite, ignoring, striving to
eliminate the other. The Infinite is twofold, the Father and the Son,
the Dark and the Light, the Senses and the Mind, the Soul and the
Spirit, the self and the not-self, the Eagle and the Dove, the Tiger and
the Lamb. The consummation of man is twofold, in the Self and in
Selflessness. By great retrogression back to the source of darkness in
me, the Self, deep in the senses, I arrive at the Original, Creative
Infinite. By projection forth from myself, by the elimination of my
absolute sensual self, I arrive at the Ultimate Infinite, Oneness in the
Spirit. They are two Infinites, twofold approach to God. And man must
know both.

But he must never confuse them. They are eternally separate. The lion
shall never lie down with the lamb. The lion eternally shall devour the
lamb, the lamb eternally shall be devoured. Man knows the great
consummation in the flesh, the sensual ecstasy, and that is eternal.
Also the spiritual ecstasy of unanimity, that is eternal. But the two
are separate and never to be confused. To neutralize the one with the
other is unthinkable, an abomination. Confusion is horror and
nothingness.

The two Infinites, negative and positive, they are always related, but
they are never identical. They are always opposite, but there exists a
relation between them. This is the Holy Ghost of the Christian Trinity.
And it is this, the relation which is established between the two
Infinites, the two natures of God, which we have transgressed,
forgotten, sinned against. The Father is the Father, and the Son is the
Son. I may know the Son and deny the Father, or know the Father and deny
the Son. But that which I may never deny, and which I have denied, is
the Holy Ghost which relates the dual Infinites into One Whole, which
relates and keeps distinct the dual natures of God. To say that the two
are one, this is the inadmissible lie. The two are related, by the
intervention of the Third, into a Oneness.

There are two ways, there is not only One. There are two opposite ways
to consummation. But that which relates them, like the base of the
triangle, this is the constant, the Absolute, this makes the Ultimate
Whole. And in the Holy Spirit I know the Two Ways, the Two Infinites,
the Two Consummations. And knowing the Two, I admit the Whole. But
excluding One, I exclude the Whole. And confusing the two, I make
nullity nihil.

'_Mais_,' said the Signore, starting from his scene of ignominy, where
his wife played with another man's child, '_mais--voulez-vous vous
promener dans mes petites terres?_'

It came out fluently, he was so much roused in self-defence and
self-assertion.

We walked under the pergola of bony vine-stocks, secure in the sunshine
within the walls, only the long mountain, parallel with us, looking in.

I said how I liked the big vine-garden, I asked when it ended. The pride
of the padrone came back with a click. He pointed me to the terrace, to
the great shut lemon-houses above. They were all his. But--he shrugged
his Italian shoulders--it was nothing, just a little garden, _vous
savez, monsieur_. I protested it was beautiful, that I loved it, and
that it seemed to me _very_ large indeed. He admitted that today,
perhaps, it was beautiful.

'_Perchè--parce que--il fait un tempo--così--très bell'--très beau,
ecco!_'

He alighted on the word _beau_ hurriedly, like a bird coming to ground
with a little bounce.

The terraces of the garden are held up to the sun, the sun falls full
upon them, they are like a vessel slanted up, to catch the superb, heavy
light. Within the walls we are remote, perfect, moving in heavy spring
sunshine, under the bony avenue of vines. The padrone makes little
exclamatory noises that mean nothing, and teaches me the names of
vegetables. The land is rich and black.

Opposite us, looking down on our security, is the long, arched mountain
of snow. We climbed one flight of steps, and we could see the little
villages on the opposite side of the lake. We climbed again, and could
see the water rippling.

We came to a great stone building that I had thought was a storehouse,
for open-air storage, because the walls are open halfway up, showing the
darkness inside and the corner pillar very white and square and distinct
in front of it.

Entering carelessly into the dimness, I started, for at my feet was a
great floor of water, clear and green in its obscurity, going down
between the walls, a reservoir in the gloom. The Signore laughed at my
surprise. It was for irrigating the land, he said. It stank, slightly,
with a raw smell; otherwise, I said, what a wonderful bath it would
make. The old Signore gave his little neighing laugh at the idea.

Then we climbed into a great loft of leaves, ruddy brown, stored in a
great bank under the roof, seeming to give off a little red heat, as
they gave off the lovely perfume of the hills. We passed through, and
stood at the foot of the lemon-house. The big, blind building rose high
in the sunshine before us.

All summer long, upon the mountain slopes steep by the lake, stands the
rows of naked pillars rising out of the green foliage like ruins of
temples: white, square pillars of masonry, standing forlorn in their
colonnades and squares, rising up the mountain-sides here and there, as
if they remained from some great race that had once worshipped here. And
still, in the winter, some are seen, standing away in lonely places
where the sun streams full, grey rows of pillars rising out of a broken
wall, tier above tier, naked to the sky, forsaken.

They are the lemon plantations, and the pillars are to support the heavy
branches of the trees, but finally to act as scaffolding of the great
wooden houses that stand blind and ugly, covering the lemon trees in
the winter.

In November, when cold winds came down and snow had fallen on the
mountains, from out of the storehouses the men were carrying timber, and
we heard the clang of falling planks. Then, as we walked along the
military road on the mountain-side, we saw below, on the top of the
lemon gardens, long, thin poles laid from pillar to pillar, and we heard
the two men talking and singing as they walked across perilously,
placing the poles. In their clumsy zoccoli they strode easily across,
though they had twenty or thirty feet to fall if they slipped. But the
mountain-side, rising steeply, seemed near, and above their heads the
rocks glowed high into the sky, so that the sense of elevation must have
been taken away. At any rate, they went easily from pillar-summit to
pillar-summit, with a great cave of space below. Then again was the
rattle and clang of planks being laid in order, ringing from the
mountain-side over the blue lake, till a platform of timber, old and
brown, projected from the mountain-side, a floor when seen from above, a
hanging roof when seen from below. And we, on the road above, saw the
men sitting easily on this flimsy hanging platform, hammering the
planks. And all day long the sound of hammering echoed among the rocks
and olive woods, and came, a faint, quick concussion, to the men on the
boats far out. When the roofs were on they put in the fronts, blocked in
between the white pillars withhold, dark wood, in roughly made panels.
And here and there, at irregular intervals, was a panel of glass, pane
overlapping pane in the long strip of narrow window. So that now these
enormous, unsightly buildings bulge out on the mountain-sides, rising in
two or three receding tiers, blind, dark, sordid-looking places.

In the morning I often lie in bed and watch the sunrise. The lake lies
dim and milky, the mountains are dark blue at the back, while over them
the sky gushes and glistens with light. At a certain place on the
mountain ridge the light burns gold, seems to fuse a little groove on
the hill's rim. It fuses and fuses at this point, till of a sudden it
comes, the intense, molten, living light. The mountains melt suddenly,
the light steps down, there is a glitter, a spangle, a clutch of
spangles, a great unbearable sun-track flashing across the milky lake,
and the light falls on my face. Then, looking aside, I hear the little
slotting noise which tells me they are opening the lemon gardens, a long
panel here and there, a long slot of darkness at irregular intervals
between the brown wood and the glass stripes.

'_Voulez-vous_'--the Signore bows me in with outstretched
hand--'_voulez-vous entrer, monsieur?_'

I went into the lemon-house, where the poor threes seem to mope in the
darkness. It is an immense, dark, cold place. Tall lemon trees, heavy
with half-visible fruit, crowd together, and rise in the gloom. They
look like ghosts in the darkness of the underworld, stately, and as if
in life, but only grand shadows of themselves. And lurking here and
there, I see one of the pillars, But he, too, seems a shadow, not one of
the dazzling white fellows I knew. Here we are trees, men, pillars, the
dark earth, the sad black paths, shut in in this enormous box. It is
true, there are long strips of window and slots of space, so that the
front is striped, and an occasional beam of light fingers the leaves of
an enclosed tree and the sickly round lemons. But it is nevertheless
very gloomy.

'But it is much colder in here than outside,' I said.

'Yes,' replied the Signore, 'now. But at night--I _think_--'

I almost wished it were night to try. I wanted to imagine the trees
cosy. They seemed now in the underworld. Between the lemon trees, beside
the path, were little orange trees, and dozens of oranges hanging like
hot coals in the twilight. When I warm my hands at them the Signore
breaks me off one twig after another, till I have a bunch of burning
oranges among dark leaves, a heavy bouquet. Looking down the Hades of
the lemon-house, the many ruddy-clustered oranges beside the path remind
me of the lights of a village along the lake at night, while the pale
lemons above are the stars. There is a subtle, exquisite scent of lemon
flowers. Then I notice a citron. He hangs heavy and bloated upon so
small a tree, that he seems a dark green enormity. There is a great host
of lemons overhead, half-visible, a swarm of ruddy oranges by the paths,
and here and there a fat citron. It is almost like being under the sea.

At the corners of the path were round little patches of ash and stumps
of charred wood, where fires had been kindled inside the house on cold
nights. For during the second and third weeks in January the snow came
down so low on the mountains that, after climbing for an hour, I found
myself in a snow lane, and saw olive orchards on lawns of snow.

The padrone says that all lemons and sweet oranges are grafted on a
bitter-orange stock. The plants raised from seed, lemon and sweet
orange, fell prey to disease, so the cultivators found it safe only to
raise the native bitter orange, and then graft upon it.

And the maestra--she is the schoolmistress, who wears black gloves while
she teaches us Italian--says that the lemon was brought by St Francis of
Assisi, who came to the Garda here and founded a church and a monastery.
Certainly the church of San Francesco is very old and dilapidated, and
its cloisters have some beautiful and original carvings of leaves and
fruit upon the pillars, which seem to connect San Francesco with the
lemon. I imagine him wandering here with a lemon in his pocket. Perhaps
he made lemonade in the hot summer. But Bacchus had been before him in
the drink trade.

Looking at his lemons, the Signore sighed. I think he hates them. They
are leaving him in the lurch. They are sold retail at a halfpenny each
all the year round. 'But that is as dear, or dearer, than in England,' I
say. 'Ah, but,' says the maestra, 'that is because your lemons are
outdoor fruit from Sicily. _Però_--one of our lemons is as good as _two_
from elsewhere.'

It is true these lemons have an exquisite fragrance and perfume, but
whether their force as lemons is double that of an ordinary fruit is a
question. Oranges are sold at fourpence halfpenny the kilo--it comes
about five for twopence, small ones. The citrons are sold also by weight
in Salò for the making of that liqueur known as 'Cedro'. One citron
fetches sometimes a shilling or more, but then the demand is necessarily
small. So that it is evident, from these figures, the Lago di Garda
cannot afford to grow its lemons much longer. The gardens are already
many of them in ruins, and still more 'Da Vendere'.

We went out of the shadow of the lemon-house on to the roof of the
section below us. When we came to the brink of the roof I sat down. The
padrone stood behind me, a shabby, shaky little figure on his roof in
the sky, a little figure of dilapidation, dilapidated as the
lemon-houses themselves.

We were always level with the mountain-snow opposite. A film of pure
blue was on the hills to the right and the left. There had been a wind,
but it was still now. The water breathed an iridescent dust on the far
shore, where the villages were groups of specks.

On the low level of the world, on the lake, an orange-sailed boat leaned
slim to the dark-blue water, which had flecks of foam. A woman went
down-hill quickly, with two goats and a sheep. Among the olives a man
was whistling.

'_Voyez_,' said the padrone, with distant, perfect melancholy. 'There
was once a lemon garden also there--you see the short pillars, cut off
to make a pergola for the vine. Once there were twice as many lemons as
now. Now we must have vine instead. From that piece of land I had two
hundred lire a year, in lemons. From the vine I have only eighty.'

'But wine is a valuable crop,' I said.

'Ah--_così-così_! For a man who grows much. For me--_poco, poco--peu_.'

Suddenly his face broke into a smile of profound melancholy, almost a
grin, like a gargoyle. It was the real Italian melancholy, very
deep, static.

'_Vous voyez, monsieur_--the lemon, it is all the year, all the year.
But the vine--one crop--?'

He lifts his shoulders and spreads his hands with that gesture of
finality and fatality, while his face takes the blank, ageless look of
misery, like a monkey's. There is no hope. There is the present. Either
that is enough, the present, or there is nothing.

I sat and looked at the lake. It was beautiful as paradise, as the first
creation. On the shores were the ruined lemon-pillars standing out in
melancholy, the clumsy, enclosed lemon-houses seemed ramshackle, bulging
among vine stocks and olive trees. The villages, too, clustered upon
their churches, seemed to belong to the past. They seemed to be
lingering in bygone centuries.

'But it is very beautiful,' I protested. 'In England--'

'Ah, in England,' exclaimed the padrone, the same ageless, monkey-like
grin of fatality, tempered by cunning, coming on his face, 'in England
you have the wealth--_les richesses_--you have the mineral coal and the
machines, _vous savez_. Here we have the sun--'

He lifted his withered hand to the sky, to the wonderful source of that
blue day, and he smiled, in histrionic triumph. But his triumph was only
histrionic. The machines were more to his soul than the sun. He did not
know these mechanisms, their great, human-contrived, inhuman power, and
he wanted to know them. As for the sun, that is common property, and no
man is distinguished by it. He wanted machines, machine production,
money, and human power. He wanted to know the joy of man who has got the
earth in his grip, bound it up with railways, burrowed it with iron
fingers, subdued it. He wanted this last triumph of the ego, this last
reduction. He wanted to go where the English have gone, beyond the Self,
into the great inhuman Not Self, to create the great unliving creators,
the machines, out of the active forces of nature that existed
before flesh.

But he is too old. It remains for the young Italian to embrace his
mistress, the machine.

I sat on the roof of the lemon-house, with the lake below and the snowy
mountain opposite, and looked at the ruins on the old, olive-fuming
shores, at all the peace of the ancient world still covered in sunshine,
and the past seemed to me so lovely that one must look towards it,
backwards, only backwards, where there is peace and beauty and no more
dissonance.

I thought of England, the great mass of London, and the black, fuming,
laborious Midlands and north-country. It seemed horrible. And yet, it
was better than the padrone, this old, monkey-like cunning of fatality.
It is better to go forward into error than to stay fixed inextricably
in the past.

Yet what should become of the world? There was London and the industrial
counties spreading like a blackness over all the world, horrible, in the
end destructive. And the Garda was so lovely under the sky of sunshine,
it was intolerable. For away, beyond, beyond all the snowy Alps, with
the iridescence of eternal ice above them, was this England, black and
foul and dry, with her soul worn down, almost worn away. And England was
conquering the world with her machines and her horrible destruction of
natural life. She was conquering the whole world.

And yet, was she not herself finished in this work? She had had enough.
She had conquered the natural life to the end: she was replete with the
conquest of the outer world, satisfied with the destruction of the Self.
She would cease, she would turn round; or else expire.

If she still lived, she would begin to build her knowledge into a great
structure of truth. There it lay, vast masses of rough-hewn knowledge,
vast masses of machines and appliances, vast masses of ideas and
methods, and nothing done with it, only teeming swarms of disintegrated
human beings seething and perishing rapidly away amongst it, till it
seems as if a world will be left covered with huge ruins, and scored by
strange devices of industry, and quite dead, the people disappeared,
swallowed up in the last efforts towards a perfect, selfless society.



_3_

THE THEATRE


During carnival a company is playing in the theatre. On Christmas Day
the padrone came in with the key of his box, and would we care to see
the drama? The theatre was small, a mere nothing, in fact; a mere affair
of peasants, you understand; and the Signor Di Paoli spread his hands
and put his head on one side, parrot-wise; but we might find a little
diversion--_un peu de divertiment_. With this he handed me the key.

I made suitable acknowledgements, and was really impressed. To be handed
the key of a box at the theatre, so simply and pleasantly, in the large
sitting-room looking over the grey lake of Christmas Day; it seemed to
me a very graceful event. The key had a chain and a little shield of
bronze, on which was beaten out a large figure 8.

So the next day we went to see _I Spettri_, expecting some good, crude
melodrama. The theatre is an old church. Since that triumph of the deaf
and dumb, the cinematograph, has come to give us the nervous excitement
of speed--grimace agitation, and speed, as of flying atoms, chaos--many
an old church in Italy has taken a new lease of life.

This cast-off church made a good theatre. I realized how cleverly it had
been constructed for the dramatic presentation of religious ceremonies.
The east end is round, the walls are windowless, sound is well
distributed. Now everything is theatrical, except the stone floor and
two pillars at the back of the auditorium, and the slightly
ecclesiastical seats below.

There are two tiers of little boxes in the theatre, some forty in all,
with fringe and red velvet, and lined with dark red paper, quite like
real boxes in a real theatre. And the padrone's is one of the best. It
just holds three people.

We paid our threepence entrance fee in the stone hall and went upstairs.
I opened the door of Number 8, and we were shut in our little cabin,
looking down on the world. Then I found the barber, Luigi, bowing
profusely in a box opposite. It was necessary to make bows all round:
ah, the chemist, on the upper tier, near the barber; how-do-you-do to
the padrona of the hotel, who is our good friend, and who sits, wearing
a little beaver shoulder-cape, a few boxes off; very cold salutation to
the stout village magistrate with the long brown beard, who leans
forward in the box facing the stage, while a grouping of faces look out
from behind him; a warm smile to the family of the Signora Gemma, across
next to the stage. Then we are settled.

I cannot tell why I hate the village magistrate. He looks like a family
portrait by a Flemish artist, he himself weighing down the front of the
picture with his portliness and his long brown beard, whilst the faces
of his family are arranged in two groups for the background. I think he
is angry at our intrusion. He is very republican and self-important. But
we eclipse him easily, with the aid of a large black velvet hat, and
black furs, and our Sunday clothes.

Downstairs the villagers are crowding, drifting like a heavy current.
The women are seated, by church instinct, all together on the left, with
perhaps an odd man at the end of a row, beside his wife. On the right,
sprawling in the benches, are several groups of bersaglieri, in grey
uniforms and slanting cock's-feather hats; then peasants, fishermen, and
an odd couple or so of brazen girls taking their places on the
men's side.

At the back, lounging against the pillars or standing very dark and
sombre, are the more reckless spirits of the village. Their black felt
hats are pulled down, their cloaks are thrown over their mouths, they
stand very dark and isolated in their moments of stillness, they shout
and wave to each other when anything occurs.

The men are clean, their clothes are all clean washed. The rags of the
poorest porter are always well washed. But it is Sunday tomorrow, and
they are shaved only on a Sunday. So that they have a week's black
growth on their chins. But they have dark, soft eyes, unconscious and
vulnerable. They move and balance with loose, heedless motion upon their
clattering zoccoli, they lounge with wonderful ease against the wall at
the back, or against the two pillars, unconscious of the patches on
their clothes or of their bare throats, that are knotted perhaps with a
scarlet rag. Loose and abandoned, they lounge and talk, or they watch
with wistful absorption the play that is going on.

They are strangely isolated in their own atmosphere, and as if revealed.
It is as if their vulnerable being was exposed and they have not the wit
to cover it. There is a pathos of physical sensibility and mental
inadequacy. Their mind is not sufficiently alert to run with their
quick, warm senses.

The men keep together, as if to support each other, the women also are
together; in a hard, strong herd. It is as if the power, the hardness,
the triumph, even in this Italian village, were with the women in their
relentless, vindictive unity.

That which drives men and women together, the indomitable necessity, is
like a bondage upon the people. They submit as under compulsion, under
constraint. They come together mostly in anger and in violence of
destructive passion. There is no comradeship between men and women, none
whatsoever, but rather a condition of battle, reserve, hostility.

On Sundays the uncomfortable, excited, unwilling youth walks for an hour
with his sweetheart, at a little distance from her, on the public
highway in the afternoon. This is a concession to the necessity for
marriage. There is no real courting, no happiness of being together,
only the roused excitement which is based on a fundamental hostility.
There is very little flirting, and what there is is of the subtle, cruel
kind, like a sex duel. On the whole, the men and women avoid each other,
almost shun each other. Husband and wife are brought together in a
child, which they both worship. But in each of them there is only the
great reverence for the infant, and the reverence for fatherhood or
motherhood, as the case may be; there is no spiritual love.

In marriage, husband and wife wage the subtle, satisfying war of sex
upon each other. It gives a profound satisfaction, a profound intimacy.
But it destroys all joy, all unanimity in action.

On Sunday afternoons the uncomfortable youth walks by the side of his
maiden for an hour in the public highway. Then he escapes; as from a
bondage he goes back to his men companions. On Sunday afternoons and
evenings the married woman, accompanied by a friend or by a child--she
dare not go alone, afraid of the strange, terrible sex-war between her
and the drunken man--is seen leading home the wine-drunken, liberated
husband. Sometimes she is beaten when she gets home. It is part of the
process. But there is no synthetic love between men and women, there is
only passion, and passion is fundamental hatred, the act of love is
a fight.

The child, the outcome, is divine. Here the union, the oneness, is
manifest. Though spirit strove with spirit, in mortal conflict, during
the sex-passion, yet the flesh united with flesh in oneness. The phallus
is still divine. But the spirit, the mind of man, this has
become nothing.

So the women triumph. They sit down below in the theatre, their
perfectly dressed hair gleaming, their backs very straight, their heads
carried tensely. They are not very noticeable. They seem held in
reserve. They are just as tense and stiff as the men are slack and
abandoned. Some strange will holds the women taut. They seem like
weapons, dangerous. There is nothing charming nor winning about them; at
the best a full, prolific maternity, at the worst a yellow poisonous
bitterness of the flesh that is like a narcotic. But they are too strong
for the men. The male spirit, which would subdue the immediate flesh to
some conscious or social purpose, is overthrown. The woman in her
maternity is the law-giver, the supreme authority. The authority of the
man, in work, in public affairs, is something trivial in comparison. The
pathetic ignominy of the village male is complete on Sunday afternoon,
on his great day of liberation, when he is accompanied home, drunk but
sinister, by the erect, unswerving, slightly cowed woman. His drunken
terrorizing is only pitiable, she is so obviously the more
constant power.

And this is why the men must go away to America. It is not the money. It
is the profound desire to rehabilitate themselves, to recover some
dignity as men, as producers, as workers, as creators from the spirit,
not only from the flesh. It is a profound desire to get away from women
altogether, the terrible subjugation to sex, the phallic worship.

The company of actors in the little theatre was from a small town away
on the plain, beyond Brescia. The curtain rose, everybody was still,
with that profound, naïve attention which children give. And after a few
minutes I realized that _I Spettri_ was Ibsen's _Ghosts_. The peasants
and fishermen of the Garda, even the rows of ungovernable children, sat
absorbed in watching as the Norwegian drama unfolded itself.

The actors are peasants. The leader is the son of a peasant proprietor.
He is qualified as a chemist, but is unsettled, vagrant, prefers
play-acting. The Signer Pietro di Paoli shrugs his shoulders and
apologizes for their vulgar accent. It is all the same to me. I am
trying to get myself to rights with the play, which I have just lately
seen in Munich, perfectly produced and detestable.

It was such a change from the hard, ethical, slightly mechanized
characters in the German play, which was as perfect an interpretation as
I can imagine, to the rather pathetic notion of the Italian peasants,
that I had to wait to adjust myself.

The mother was a pleasant, comfortable woman harassed by something, she
did not quite know what. The pastor was a ginger-haired caricature
imitated from the northern stage, quite a lay figure. The peasants never
laughed, they watched solemnly and absorbedly like children. The servant
was just a slim, pert, forward hussy, much too flagrant. And then the
son, the actor-manager: he was a dark, ruddy man, broad and thick-set,
evidently of peasant origin, but with some education now; he was the
important figure, the play was his.

And he was strangely disturbing. Dark, ruddy, and powerful, he could not
be the blighted son of 'Ghosts', the hectic, unsound, northern issue of
a diseased father. His flashy Italian passion for his half-sister was
real enough to make one uncomfortable: something he wanted and would
have in spite of his own soul, something which fundamentally he did
not want.

It was this contradiction within the man that made the play so
interesting. A robust, vigorous man of thirty-eight, flaunting and
florid as a rather successful Italian can be, there was yet a secret
sickness which oppressed him. But it was no taint in the blood, it was
rather a kind of debility in the soul. That which he wanted and would
have, the sensual excitement, in his soul he did not want it, no, not at
all. And yet he must act from his physical desires, his physical will.

His true being, his real self, was impotent. In his soul he was
dependent, forlorn. He was childish and dependent on the mother. To hear
him say, '_Grazia, mamma!_' would have tormented the mother-soul in any
woman living. Such a child crying in the night! And for what?

For he was hot-blooded, healthy, almost in his prime, and free as a man
can be in his circumstances. He had his own way, he admitted no
thwarting. He governed his circumstances pretty much, coming to our
village with his little company, playing the plays he chose himself. And
yet, that which he would have he did not vitally want, it was only a
sort of inflamed obstinacy that made him so insistent, in the masculine
way. He was not going to be governed by women, he was not going to be
dictated to in the least by any one. And this because he was beaten by
his own flesh.

His real man's soul, the soul that goes forth and builds up a new world
out of the void, was ineffectual. It could only revert to the senses.
His divinity was the phallic divinity. The other male divinity, which is
the spirit that fulfils in the world the new germ of an idea, this was
denied and obscured in him, unused. And it was this spirit which cried
out helplessly in him through the insistent, inflammable flesh. Even
this play-acting was a form of physical gratification for him, it had in
it neither real mind nor spirit.

It was so different from Ibsen, and so much more moving. Ibsen is
exciting, nervously sensational. But this was really moving, a real
crying in the night. One loved the Italian nation, and wanted to help it
with all one's soul. But when one sees the perfect Ibsen, how one hates
the Norwegian and Swedish nations! They are detestable.

They seem to be fingering with the mind the secret places and sources of
the blood, impertinent, irreverent, nasty. There is a certain
intolerable nastiness about the real Ibsen: the same thing is in
Strindberg and in most of the Norwegian and Swedish writings. It is with
them a sort of phallic worship also, but now the worship is mental and
perverted: the phallus is the real fetish, but it is the source of
uncleanliness and corruption and death, it is the Moloch, worshipped in
obscenity.

Which is unbearable. The phallus is a symbol of creative divinity. But
it represents only part of creative divinity. The Italian has made it
represent the whole. Which is now his misery, for he has to destroy his
symbol in himself.

Which is why the Italian men have the enthusiasm for war, unashamed.
Partly it is the true phallic worship, for the phallic principle is to
absorb and dominate all life. But also it is a desire to expose
themselves to death, to know death, that death may destroy in them this
too strong dominion of the blood, may once more liberate the spirit of
outgoing, of uniting, of making order out of chaos, in the outer world,
as the flesh makes a new order from chaos in begetting a new life, set
them free to know and serve a greater idea.

The peasants below sat and listened intently, like children who hear and
do not understand, yet who are spellbound. The children themselves sit
spellbound on the benches till the play is over. They do not fidget or
lose interest. They watch with wide, absorbed eyes at the mystery, held
in thrall by the sound of emotion.

But the villagers do not really care for Ibsen. They let it go. On the
feast of Epiphany, as a special treat, was given a poetic drama by
D'Annunzio, _La Fiaccola sotto il Moggio_--_The Light under the Bushel_.

It is a foolish romantic play of no real significance. There are several
murders and a good deal of artificial horror. But it is all a very nice
and romantic piece of make-believe, like a charade.

So the audience loved it. After the performance of _Ghosts_ I saw the
barber, and he had the curious grey clayey look of an Italian who is
cold and depressed. The sterile cold inertia, which the so-called
passionate nations know so well, had settled on him, and he went
obliterating himself in the street, as if he were cold, dead.

But after the D'Annunzio play he was like a man who has drunk sweet wine
and is warm.

'_Ah, bellissimo, bellissimo_!' he said, in tones of intoxicated
reverence, when he saw me.

'Better than _I Spettri_?' I said.

He half-raised his hands, as if to imply the fatuity of the question.

'Ah, but--' he said, 'it was D'Annunzio. The other....'

'That was Ibsen--a great Norwegian,' I said, 'famous all over the
world.'

'But you know--D'Annunzio is a poet--oh, beautiful, beautiful!' There
was no going beyond this '_bello--bellissimo_'.

It was the language which did it. It was the Italian passion for
rhetoric, for the speech which appeals to the senses and makes no demand
on the mind. When an Englishman listens to a speech he wants at least to
imagine that he understands thoroughly and impersonally what is meant.
But an Italian only cares about the emotion. It is the movement, the
physical effect of the language upon the blood which gives him supreme
satisfaction. His mind is scarcely engaged at all. He is like a child,
hearing and feeling without understanding. It is the sensuous
gratification he asks for. Which is why D'Annunzio is a god in Italy. He
can control the current of the blood with his words, and although much
of what he says is bosh, yet his hearer is satisfied, fulfilled.

Carnival ends on the 5th of February, so each Thursday there is a Serata
d' Onore of one of the actors. The first, and the only one for which
prices were raised--to a fourpence entrance fee instead of
threepence--was for the leading lady. The play was _The Wife of the
Doctor_, a modern piece, sufficiently uninteresting; the farce that
followed made me laugh.

Since it was her Evening of Honour, Adelaida was the person to see. She
is very popular, though she is no longer young. In fact, she is the
mother of the young pert person of _Ghosts_.

Nevertheless, Adelaida, stout and blonde and soft and pathetic, is the
real heroine of the theatre, the prima. She is very good at sobbing; and
afterwards the men exclaim involuntarily, out of their strong emotion,
'_bella, bella_!' The women say nothing. They sit stiffly and
dangerously as ever. But, no doubt, they quite agree this is the true
picture of ill-used, tear-stained woman, the bearer of many wrongs.
Therefore they take unto themselves the homage of the men's '_bella,
bella_!' that follows the sobs: it is due recognition of their hard
wrongs: 'the woman pays.' Nevertheless, they despise in their souls the
plump, soft Adelaida.

Dear Adelaida, she is irreproachable. In every age, in every clime, she
is dear, at any rate to the masculine soul, this soft, tear-blenched,
blonde, ill-used thing. She must be ill-used and unfortunate. Dear
Gretchen, dear Desdemona, dear Iphigenia, dear Dame aux Camélias, dear
Lucy of Lammermoor, dear Mary Magdalene, dear, pathetic, unfortunate
soul, in all ages and lands, how we love you. In the theatre she
blossoms forth, she is the lily of the stage. Young and inexperienced as
I am, I have broken my heart over her several times. I could write a
sonnet-sequence to her, yes, the fair, pale, tear-stained thing,
white-robed, with her hair down her back; I could call her by a hundred
names, in a hundred languages, Melisande, Elizabeth, Juliet, Butterfly,
Phèdre, Minnehaha, etc. Each new time I hear her voice, with its faint
clang of tears, my heart grows big and hot, and my bones melt. I detest
her, but it is no good. My heart begins to swell like a bud under the
plangent rain.

The last time I saw her was here, on the Garda, at Salò. She was the
chalked, thin-armed daughter of Rigoletto. I detested her, her voice had
a chalky squeak in it. And yet, by the end, my heart was overripe in my
breast, ready to burst with loving affection. I was ready to walk on to
the stage, to wipe out the odious, miscreant lover, and to offer her all
myself, saying, 'I can see it is real _love_ you want, and you shall
have it: _I_ will give it to you.'

Of course I know the secret of the Gretchen magic; it is all in the
'Save me, Mr Hercules!' phrase. Her shyness, her timidity, her
trustfulness, her tears foster my own strength and grandeur. I am the
positive half of the universe. But so I am, if it comes to that, just as
positive as the other half.

Adelaida is plump, and her voice has just that moist, plangent strength
which gives one a real voluptuous thrill. The moment she comes on the
stage and looks round--a bit scared--she is _she_, Electra, Isolde,
Sieglinde, Marguèrite. She wears a dress of black voile, like the lady
who weeps at the trial in the police-court. This is her modern uniform.
Her antique garment is of trailing white, with a blonde pigtail and a
flower. Realistically, it is black voile and a handkerchief.

Adelaida always has a handkerchief. And still I cannot resist it. I say,
'There's the hanky!' Nevertheless, in two minutes it has worked its way
with me. She squeezes it in her poor, plump hand as the tears begin to
rise; Fate, or man, is inexorable, so cruel. There is a sob, a cry; she
presses the fist and the hanky to her eyes, one eye, then the other. She
weeps real tears, tears shaken from the depths of her soft, vulnerable,
victimized female self. I cannot stand it. There I sit in the padrone's
little red box and stifle my emotion, whilst I repeat in my heart: 'What
a shame, child, what a shame!' She is twice my age, but what is age in
such circumstances? 'Your poor little hanky, it's sopping. There, then,
don't cry. It'll be all right. _I'll_ see you're all right. _All_ men
are not beasts, you know.' So I cover her protectively in my arms, and
soon I shall be kissing her, for comfort, in the heat and prowess of my
compassion, kissing her soft, plump cheek and neck closely, bringing my
comfort nearer and nearer.

It is a pleasant and exciting role for me to play. Robert Burns did the
part to perfection:

    O wert thou in the cauld blast
    On yonder lea, on yonder lea.

How many times does one recite that to all the Ophelias and Gretchens in
the world:

    Thy bield should be my bosom.

How one admires one's bosom in that capacity! Looking down at one's
shirt-front, one is filled with strength and pride.

Why are the women so bad at playing this part in real life, this
Ophelia-Gretchen role? Why are they so unwilling to go mad and die for
our sakes? They do it regularly on the stage.

But perhaps, after all, we write the plays. What a villain I am, what a
black-browed, passionate, ruthless, masculine villain I am to the
leading lady on the stage; and, on the other hand, dear heart, what a
hero, what a fount of chivalrous generosity and faith! I am _anything_
but a dull and law-abiding citizen. I am a Galahad, full of purity and
spirituality, I am the Lancelot of valour and lust; I fold my hands, or
I cock my hat in one side, as the case may be: I am _myself_. Only, I am
not a respectable citizen, not that, in this hour of my glory and
my escape.

Dear Heaven, how Adelaida wept, her voice plashing like violin music, at
my ruthless, masculine cruelty. Dear heart, how she sighed to rest on my
sheltering bosom! And how I enjoyed my dual nature! How I
admired myself!

Adelaida chose _La Moglie del Dottore_ for her Evening of Honour. During
the following week came a little storm of coloured bills: 'Great Evening
of Honour of Enrico Persevalli.'

This is the leader, the actor-manager. What should he choose for his
great occasion, this broad, thick-set, ruddy descendant of the peasant
proprietors of the plain? No one knew. The title of the play was
not revealed.

So we were staying at home, it was cold and wet. But the maestra came
inflammably on that Thursday evening, and were we not going to the
theatre, to see _Amleto_?

Poor maestra, she is yellow and bitter-skinned, near fifty, but her dark
eyes are still corrosively inflammable. She was engaged to a lieutenant
in the cavalry, who got drowned when she was twenty-one. Since then she
has hung on the tree unripe, growing yellow and bitter-skinned, never
developing.

'_Amleto!_' I say. '_Non lo conosco._'

A certain fear comes into her eyes. She is schoolmistress, and has a
mortal dread of being wrong.

'_Si_,' she cries, wavering, appealing, '_una dramma inglese_.'

'English!' I repeated.

'Yes, an English drama.'

'How do you write it?'

Anxiously, she gets a pencil from her reticule, and, with black-gloved
scrupulousness, writes _Amleto_.

'_Hamlet_!' I exclaim wonderingly.

'_Ecco, Amleto!_' cries the maestra, her eyes aflame with thankful
justification.

Then I knew that Signore Enrico Persevalli was looking to me for an
audience. His Evening of Honour would be a bitter occasion to him if the
English were not there to see his performance.

I hurried to get ready, I ran through the rain. I knew he would take it
badly that it rained on his Evening of Honour. He counted himself a man
who had fate against him.

'_Sono un disgraziato, io._'

I was late. The First Act was nearly over. The play was not yet alive,
neither in the bosoms of the actors nor in the audience. I closed the
door of the box softly, and came forward. The rolling Italian eyes of
Hamlet glanced up at me. There came a new impulse over the Court
of Denmark.

Enrico looked a sad fool in his melancholy black. The doublet sat close,
making him stout and vulgar, the knee-breeches seemed to exaggerate the
commonness of his thick, rather short, strutting legs. And he carried a
long black rag, as a cloak, for histrionic purposes. And he had on his
face a portentous grimace of melancholy and philosophic importance. His
was the caricature of Hamlet's melancholy self-absorption.

I stooped to arrange my footstool and compose my countenance. I was
trying not to grin. For the first time, attired in philosophic
melancholy of black silk, Enrico looked a boor and a fool. His
close-cropped, rather animal head was common above the effeminate
doublet, his sturdy, ordinary figure looked absurd in a
melancholic droop.

All the actors alike were out of their element. Their Majesties of
Denmark were touching. The Queen, burly little peasant woman, was ill at
ease in her pink satin. Enrico had had no mercy. He knew she loved to be
the scolding servant or housekeeper, with her head tied up in a
handkerchief, shrill and vulgar. Yet here she was pranked out in an
expanse of satin, la Regina. Regina, indeed!

She obediently did her best to be important. Indeed, she rather fancied
herself; she looked sideways at the audience, self-consciously, quite
ready to be accepted as an imposing and noble person, if they would
esteem her such. Her voice sounded hoarse and common, but whether it was
the pink satin in contrast, or a cold, I do not know. She was almost
childishly afraid to move. Before she began a speech she looked down and
kicked her skirt viciously, so that she was sure it was under control.
Then she let go. She was a burly, downright little body of sixty, one
rather expected her to box Hamlet on the ears.

Only she liked being a queen when she sat on the throne. There she
perched with great satisfaction, her train splendidly displayed down the
steps. She was as proud as a child, and she looked like Queen Victoria
of the Jubilee period.

The King, her noble consort, also had new honours thrust upon him, as
well as new garments. His body was real enough but it had nothing at all
to do with his clothes. They established a separate identity by
themselves. But wherever he went, they went with him, to the confusion
of everybody.

He was a thin, rather frail-looking peasant, pathetic, and very gentle.
There was something pure and fine about him, he was so exceedingly
gentle and by natural breeding courteous. But he did not feel kingly, he
acted the part with beautiful, simple resignation.

Enrico Persevalli had overshot himself in every direction, but worst of
all in his own. He had become a hulking fellow, crawling about with his
head ducked between his shoulders, pecking and poking, creeping about
after other people, sniffing at them, setting traps for them, absorbed
by his own self-important self-consciousness. His legs, in their black
knee-breeches, had a crawling, slinking look; he always carried the
black rag of a cloak, something for him to twist about as he twisted in
his own soul, overwhelmed by a sort of inverted perversity.

I had always felt an aversion from Hamlet: a creeping, unclean thing he
seems, on the stage, whether he is Forbes Robertson or anybody else. His
nasty poking and sniffing at his mother, his setting traps for the King,
his conceited perversion with Ophelia make him always intolerable. The
character is repulsive in its conception, based on self-dislike and a
spirit of disintegration.

There is, I think, this strain of cold dislike, or self-dislike, through
much of the Renaissance art, and through all the later Shakespeare. In
Shakespeare it is a kind of corruption in the flesh and a conscious
revolt from this. A sense of corruption in the flesh makes Hamlet
frenzied, for he will never admit that it is his own flesh. Leonardo da
Vinci is the same, but Leonardo loves the corruption maliciously.
Michelangelo rejects any feeling of corruption, he stands by the flesh,
the flesh only. It is the corresponding reaction, but in the opposite
direction. But that is all four hundred years ago. Enrico Persevalli has
just reached the position. He _is_ Hamlet, and evidently he has great
satisfaction in the part. He is the modern Italian, suspicious,
isolated, self-nauseated, labouring in a sense of physical corruption.
But he will not admit it is in himself. He creeps about in self-conceit,
transforming his own self-loathing. With what satisfaction did he reveal
corruption--corruption in his neighbours he gloated in--letting his
mother know he had discovered her incest, her uncleanness, gloated in
torturing the incestuous King. Of all the unclean ones, Hamlet was the
uncleanest. But he accused only the others.

Except in the 'great' speeches, and there Enrico was betrayed, Hamlet
suffered the extremity of physical self-loathing, loathing of his own
flesh. The play is the statement of the most significant philosophic
position of the Renaissance. Hamlet is far more even than Orestes, his
prototype, a mental creature, anti-physical, anti-sensual. The whole
drama is the tragedy of the convulsed reaction of the mind from the
flesh, of the spirit from the self, the reaction from the great
aristocratic to the great democratic principle.

An ordinary instinctive man, in Hamlet's position, would either have set
about murdering his uncle, by reflex action, or else would have gone
right away. There would have been no need for Hamlet to murder his
mother. It would have been sufficient blood-vengeance if he had killed
his uncle. But that is the statement according to the aristocratic
principle.

Orestes was in the same position, but the same position two thousand
years earlier, with two thousand years of experience wanting. So that
the question was not so intricate in him as in Hamlet, he was not nearly
so conscious. The whole Greek life was based on the idea of the
supremacy of the self, and the self was always male. Orestes was his
father's child, he would be the same whatever mother he had. The mother
was but the vehicle, the soil in which the paternal seed was planted.
When Clytemnestra murdered Agamemnon, it was as if a common individual
murdered God, to the Greek.

But Agamemnon, King and Lord, was not infallible. He was fallible. He
had sacrificed Iphigenia for the sake of glory in war, for the
fulfilment of the superb idea of self, but on the other hand he had made
cruel dissension for the sake of the concubines captured in war. The
paternal flesh was fallible, ungodlike. It lusted after meaner pursuits
than glory, war, and slaying, it was not faithful to the highest idea of
the self. Orestes was driven mad by the furies of his mother, because of
the justice that they represented. Nevertheless he was in the end
exculpated. The third play of the trilogy is almost foolish, with its
prating gods. But it means that, according to the Greek conviction,
Orestes was right and Clytemnestra entirely wrong. But for all that, the
infallible King, the infallible male Self, is dead in Orestes, killed by
the furies of Clytemnestra. He gains his peace of mind after the
revulsion from his own physical fallibility, but he will never be an
unquestioned lord, as Agamemnon was. Orestes is left at peace,
neutralized. He is the beginning of non-aristocratic Christianity.

Hamlet's father, the King, is, like Agamemnon, a warrior-king. But,
unlike Agamemnon, he is blameless with regard to Gertrude. Yet Gertrude,
like Clytemnestra, is the potential murderer of her husband, as Lady
Macbeth is murderess, as the daughters of Lear. The women murder the
supreme male, the ideal Self, the King and Father.

This is the tragic position Shakespeare must dwell upon. The woman
rejects, repudiates the ideal Self which the male represents to her. The
supreme representative, King and Father, is murdered by the Wife and the
Daughters.

What is the reason? Hamlet goes mad in a revulsion of rage and nausea.
Yet the women-murderers only represent some ultimate judgement in his
own soul. At the bottom of his own soul Hamlet has decided that the Self
in its supremacy, Father and King, must die. It is a suicidal decision
for his involuntary soul to have arrived at. Yet it is inevitable. The
great religious, philosophic tide, which has been swelling all through
the Middle Ages, had brought him there.

The question, to be or not to be, which Hamlet puts himself, does not
mean, to live or not to live. It is not the simple human being who puts
himself the question, it is the supreme I, King and Father. To be or not
to be King, Father, in the Self supreme? And the decision is, not to be.

It is the inevitable philosophic conclusion of all the Renaissance. The
deepest impulse in man, the religious impulse, is the desire to be
immortal, or infinite, consummated. And this impulse is satisfied in
fulfilment of an idea, a steady progression. In this progression man is
satisfied, he seems to have reached his goal, this infinity, this
immortality, this eternal being, with every step nearer which he takes.

And so, according to his idea of fulfilment, man establishes the whole
order of life. If my fulfilment is the fulfilment and establishment of
the unknown divine Self which I am, then I shall proceed in the
realizing of the greatest idea of the self, the highest conception of
the I, my order of life will be kingly, imperial, aristocratic. The body
politic also will culminate in this divinity of the flesh, this body
imbued with glory, invested with divine power and might, the King, the
Emperor. In the body politic also I shall desire a king, an emperor, a
tyrant, glorious, mighty, in whom I see myself consummated and
fulfilled. This is inevitable!

But during the Middle Ages, struggling within this pagan, original
transport, the transport of the Ego, was a small dissatisfaction, a
small contrary desire. Amid the pomp of kings and popes was the Child
Jesus and the Madonna. Jesus the King gradually dwindled down. There was
Jesus the Child, helpless, at the mercy of all the world. And there was
Jesus crucified.

The old transport, the old fulfilment of the Ego, the Davidian ecstasy,
the assuming of all power and glory unto the self, the becoming infinite
through the absorption of all into the Ego, this gradually became
unsatisfactory. This was not the infinite, this was not immortality.
This was eternal death, this was damnation.

The monk rose up with his opposite ecstasy, the Christian ecstasy. There
was a death to die: the flesh, the self, must die, so that the spirit
should rise again immortal, eternal, infinite. I am dead unto myself,
but I live in the Infinite. The finite Me is no more, only the Infinite,
the Eternal, is.

At the Renaissance this great half-truth overcame the other great
half-truth. The Christian Infinite, reached by a process of abnegation,
a process of being absorbed, dissolved, diffused into the great
Not-Self, supplanted the old pagan Infinite, wherein the self like a
root threw out branches and radicles which embraced the whole universe,
became the Whole.

There is only one Infinite, the world now cried, there is the great
Christian Infinite of renunciation and consummation in the not-self. The
other, that old pride, is damnation. The sin of sins is Pride, it is the
way to total damnation. Whereas the pagans based their life on pride.

And according to this new Infinite, reached through renunciation and
dissolving into the Others, the Neighbour, man must build up his actual
form of life. With Savonarola and Martin Luther the living Church
actually transformed itself, for the Roman Church was still pagan. Henry
VIII simply said: 'There is no Church, there is only the State.' But
with Shakespeare the transformation had reached the State also. The
King, the Father, the representative of the Consummate Self, the maximum
of all life, the symbol of the consummate being, the becoming Supreme,
Godlike, Infinite, he must perish and pass away. This Infinite was not
infinite, this consummation was not consummated, all this was fallible,
false. It was rotten, corrupt. It must go. But Shakespeare was also the
thing itself. Hence his horror, his frenzy, his self-loathing.

The King, the Emperor is killed in the soul of man, the old order of
life is over, the old tree is dead at the root. So said Shakespeare. It
was finally enacted in Cromwell. Charles I took up the old position of
kingship by divine right. Like Hamlet's father, he was blameless
otherwise. But as representative of the old form of life, which mankind
now hated with frenzy, he must be cut down, removed. It was a
symbolic act.

The world, our world of Europe, had now really turned, swung round to a
new goal, a new idea, the Infinite reached through the omission of Self.
God is all that which is Not-Me. I am consummate when my Self, the
resistant solid, is reduced and diffused into all that which is Not-Me:
my neighbour, my enemy, the great Otherness. Then I am perfect.

And from this belief the world began gradually to form a new State, a
new body politic, in which the Self should be removed. There should be
no king, no lords, no aristocrats. The world continued in its religious
belief, beyond the French Revolution, beyond the great movement of
Shelley and Godwin. There should be no Self. That which was supreme was
that which was Not-Me, the other. The governing factor in the State was
the idea of the good of others; that is, the Common Good. And the
_vital_ governing idea in the State has been this idea since Cromwell.

Before Cromwell the idea was 'For the King', because every man saw
himself consummated in the King. After Cromwell the idea was 'For the
good of my neighbour', or 'For the good of the people', or 'For the good
of the whole'. This has been our ruling idea, by which we have more or
less lived.

Now this has failed. Now we say that the Christian Infinite is not
infinite. We are tempted, like Nietzsche, to return back to the old
pagan Infinite, to say that is supreme. Or we are inclined, like the
English and the Pragmatist, to say, 'There is no Infinite, there is no
Absolute. The only Absolute is expediency, the only reality is sensation
and momentariness.' But we may say this, even act on it, _à la Sanine_.
But we never believe it.

What is really Absolute is the mystic Reason which connects both
Infinites, the Holy Ghost that relates both natures of God. If we now
wish to make a living State, we must build it up to the idea of the Holy
Spirit, the supreme Relationship. We must say, the pagan Infinite is
infinite, the Christian Infinite is infinite: these are our two
Consummations, in both of these we are consummated. But that which
relates them alone is absolute.

This Absolute of the Holy Ghost we may call Truth or Justice or Right.
These are partial names, indefinite and unsatisfactory unless there be
kept the knowledge of the two Infinites, pagan and Christian, which they
go between. When both are there, they are like a superb bridge, on which
one can stand and know the whole world, my world, the two halves of
the universe.

'_Essere, o non essere, è qui il punto._'

To be or not to be was the question for Hamlet to settle. It is no
longer our question, at least, not in the same sense. When it is a
question of death, the fashionable young suicide declares that his
self-destruction is the final proof of his own incontrovertible being.
And as for not-being in our public life, we have achieved it as much as
ever we want to, as much as is necessary. Whilst in private life there
is a swing back to paltry selfishness as a creed. And in the war there
is the position of neutralization and nothingness. It is a question of
knowing how _to be_, and how _not to be_, for we must fulfil both.
Enrico Persevalli was detestable with his '_Essere, o non essere_'. He
whispered it in a hoarse whisper as if it were some melodramatic murder
he was about to commit. As a matter of fact, he knows quite well, and
has known all his life, that his pagan Infinite, his transport of the
flesh and the supremacy of the male in fatherhood, is all
unsatisfactory. All his life he has really cringed before the northern
Infinite of the Not-Self, although he has continued in the Italian habit
of Self. But it is mere habit, sham.

How can he know anything about being and not-being when he is only a
maudlin compromise between them, and all he wants is to be a maudlin
compromise? He is neither one nor the other. He has neither being nor
riot-being. He is as equivocal as the monks. He was detestable, mouthing
Hamlet's sincere words. He has still to let go, to know what not-being
is, before he can _be_. Till he has gone through the Christian negation
of himself, and has known the Christian consummation, he is a mere
amorphous heap.

For the soliloquies of Hamlet are as deep as the soul of man can go, in
one direction, and as sincere as the Holy Spirit itself in their
essence. But thank heaven, the bog into which Hamlet struggled is almost
surpassed.

It is a strange thing, if a man covers his face, and speaks with his
eyes blinded, how significant and poignant he becomes. The ghost of this
Hamlet was very simple. He was wrapped down to the knees in a great
white cloth, and over his face was an open-work woollen shawl. But the
naïve blind helplessness and verity of his voice was strangely
convincing. He seemed the most real thing in the play. From the knees
downward he was Laertes, because he had on Laertes' white trousers and
patent leather slippers. Yet he was strangely real, a voice out of
the dark.

The Ghost is really one of the play's failures, it is so trivial and
unspiritual and vulgar. And it was spoilt for me from the first. When I
was a child I went to the twopenny travelling theatre to see _Hamlet_.
The Ghost had on a helmet and a breastplate. I sat in pale transport.

''Amblet, 'Amblet, I _am_ thy father's ghost.'

Then came a voice from the dark, silent audience, like a cynical knife
to my fond soul:

'Why tha arena, I can tell thy voice.'

The peasants loved Ophelia: she was in white with her hair down her
back. Poor thing, she was pathetic, demented. And no wonder, after
Hamlet's 'O, that this too, too solid flesh would melt!' What then of
her young breasts and her womb? Hamlet with her was a very disagreeable
sight. The peasants loved her. There was a hoarse roar, half of
indignation, half of roused passion, at the end of her scene.

The graveyard scene, too, was a great success, but I could not bear
Hamlet. And the grave-digger in Italian was a mere buffoon. The whole
scene was farcical to me because of the Italian, '_Questo cranio,
Signore_--'And Enrico, dainty fellow, took the skull in a corner of his
black cloak. As an Italian, he would not willingly touch it. It was
unclean. But he looked a fool, hulking himself in his lugubriousness. He
was as self-important as D'Annunzio.

The close fell flat. The peasants had applauded the whole graveyard
scene wildly. But at the end of all they got up and crowded to the
doors, as if to hurry away: this in spite of Enrico's final feat: he
fell backwards, smack down three steps of the throne platform, on to the
stage. But planks and braced muscle will bounce, and Signer Amleto
bounced quite high again.

It was the end of _Amleto_, and I was glad. But I loved the theatre, I
loved to look down on the peasants, who were so absorbed. At the end of
the scenes the men pushed back their black hats, and rubbed their hair
across their brows with a pleased, excited movement. And the women
stirred in their seats.

Just one man was with his wife and child, and he was of the same race as
my old woman at San Tommaso. He was fair, thin, and clear, abstract, of
the mountains. He seemed to have gathered his wife and child together
into another, finer atmosphere, like the air of the mountains, and to
guard them in it. This is the real Joseph, father of the child. He has a
fierce, abstract look, wild and untamed as a hawk, but like a hawk at
its own nest, fierce with love. He goes out and buys a tiny bottle of
lemonade for a penny, and the mother and child sip it in tiny sips,
whilst he bends over, like a hawk arching its wings.

It is the fierce spirit of the Ego come out of the primal infinite, but
detached, isolated, an aristocrat. He is not an Italian, dark-blooded.
He is fair, keen as steel, with the blood of the mountaineer in him. He
is like my old spinning woman. It is curious how, with his wife and
child, he makes a little separate world down there in the theatre, like
a hawk's nest, high and arid under the gleaming sky.

The Bersaglieri sit close together in groups, so that there is a
strange, corporal connexion between them. They have close-cropped, dark,
slightly bestial heads, and thick shoulders, and thick brown hands on
each other's shoulders. When an act is over they pick up their cherished
hats and fling on their cloaks and go into the hall. They are rather
rich, the Bersaglieri.

They are like young, half-wild oxen, such strong, sturdy, dark lads,
thickly built and with strange hard heads, like young male caryatides.
They keep close together, as if there were some physical instinct
connecting them. And they are quite womanless. There is a curious
inter-absorption among themselves, a sort of physical trance that holds
them all, and puts their minds to sleep. There is a strange, hypnotic
unanimity among them as they put on their plumed hats and go out
together, always very close, as if their bodies must touch. Then they
feel safe and content in this heavy, physical trance. They are in love
with one another, the young men love the young men. They shrink from the
world beyond, from the outsiders, from all who are not Bersaglieri of
their barracks.

One man is a sort of leader. He is very straight and solid, solid like a
wall, with a dark, unblemished will. His cock-feathers slither in a
profuse, heavy stream from his black oil-cloth hat, almost to his
shoulder. He swings round. His feathers slip into a cascade. Then he
goes out to the hall, his feather tossing and falling richly. He must be
well off. The Bersaglieri buy their own black cock's-plumes, and some
pay twenty or thirty francs for the bunch, so the maestra said. The poor
ones have only poor, scraggy plumes.

There is something very primitive about these men. They remind me really
of Agamemnon's soldiers clustered oil the seashore, men, all men, a
living, vigorous, physical host of men. But there is a pressure on these
Italian soldiers, as if they were men caryatides, with a great weight on
their heads, making their brain hard, asleep, stunned. They all look is
if their real brain were stunned, as if there were another centre of
physical consciousness from which they lived.

Separate from them all is Pietro, the young man who lounges on the wharf
to carry things from the steamer. He starts up from sleep like a
wild-cat as somebody claps him on the shoulder. It is the start of a man
who has many enemies. He is almost an outlaw. Will he ever find himself
in prison? He is the _gamin_ of the village, well detested.

He is twenty-four years old, thin, dark, handsome, with a cat-like
lightness and grace, and a certain repulsive, _gamin_ evil in his face.
Where everybody is so clean and tidy, he is almost ragged. His week's
beard shows very black in his slightly hollow cheeks. He hates the man
who has waked him by clapping him on the shoulder.

Pietro is already married, yet he behaves as if he were not. He has been
carrying on with a loose woman, the wife of the citron-coloured barber,
the Siciliano. Then he seats himself on the women's side of the theatre,
behind a young person from Bogliaco, who also has no reputation, and
makes her talk to him. He leans forward, resting his arms on the seat
before him, stretching his slender, cat-like, flexible loins. The
padrona of the hotel hates him--'_ein frecher Kerl_,' she says with
contempt, and she looks away. Her eyes hate to see him.

In the village there is the clerical party, which is the majority;
there is the anti-clerical party, and there are the ne'er-do-wells. The
clerical people are dark and pious and cold; there is a curious
stone-cold, ponderous darkness over them, moral and gloomy. Then the
anti-clerical party, with the Syndaco at the head, is bourgeois and
respectable as far as the middle-aged people are concerned, banal,
respectable, shut off as by a wall from the clerical people. The young
anti-clericals are the young bloods of the place, the men who gather
every night in the more expensive and less-respectable cafe. These young
men are all free-thinkers, great dancers, singers, players of the
guitar. They are immoral and slightly cynical. Their leader is the young
shopkeeper, who has lived in Vienna, who is a bit of a bounder, with a
veneer of sneering irony on an original good nature. He is well-to-do,
and gives dances to which only the looser women go, with these reckless
young men. He also gets up parties of pleasure, and is chiefly
responsible for the coming of the players to the theatre this carnival.
These young men are disliked, but they belong to the important class,
they are well-to-do, and they have the life of the village in their
hands. The clerical peasants are priest-ridden and good, because they
are poor and afraid and superstitious. There is, lastly, a sprinkling of
loose women, one who keeps the inn where the soldiers drink. These women
are a definite set. They know what they are, they pretend nothing else.
They are not prostitutes, but just loose women. They keep to their own
clique, among men and women, never wanting to compromise anybody else.

And beyond all these there are the Franciscan friars in their brown
robes, so shy, so silent, so obliterated, as they stand back in the
shop, waiting to buy the bread for the monastery, waiting obscure and
neutral, till no one shall be in the shop wanting to be served. The
village women speak to them in a curious neutral, official, slightly
contemptuous voice. They answer neutral and humble, though distinctly.

At the theatre, now the play is over, the peasants in their black hats
and cloaks crowd the hall. Only Pietro, the wharf-lounger, has no cloak,
and a bit of a cap on the side of his head instead of a black felt hat.
His clothes are thin and loose on his thin, vigorous, cat-like body, and
he is cold, but he takes no notice. His hands are always in his pockets,
his shoulders slightly raised.

The few women slip away home. In the little theatre bar the well-to-do
young atheists are having another drink. Not that they spend much. A
tumbler of wine or a glass of vermouth costs a penny. And the wine is
horrible new stuff. Yet the little baker, Agostino, sits on a bench with
his pale baby on his knee, putting the wine to its lips. And the baby
drinks, like a blind fledgeling.

Upstairs, the quality has paid its visits and shaken hands: the Syndaco
and the well-to-do half-Austrian owners of the woodyard, the Bertolini,
have ostentatiously shown their mutual friendship; our padrone, the
Signer Pietro Di Paoli, has visited his relatives the Graziani in the
box next the stage and has spent two intervals with us in our box;
meanwhile, his two peasants standing down below, pathetic, thin
contadini of the old school, like worn stones, have looked up at us as
if we are the angels in heaven, with a reverential, devotional eye, they
themselves far away below, standing in the bay at the back, below all.

The chemist and the grocer and the schoolmistress pay calls. They have
all sat self-consciously posed in the front of their boxes, like framed
photographs of themselves. The second grocer and the baker visit each
other. The barber looks in on the carpenter, then drops downstairs among
the crowd. Class distinctions are cut very fine. As we pass with the
padrona of the hotel, who is a Bavarian, we stop to speak to our own
padroni, the Di Paoli. They have a warm handshake and effusive polite
conversation for us; for Maria Samuelli, a distant bow. We realize
our mistake.

The barber--not the Siciliano, but flashy little Luigi with the big
tie-ring and the curls--knows all about the theatre. He says that Enrico
Persevalli has for his mistress Carina, the servant in _Ghosts_: that
the thin, gentle, old-looking king in _Hamlet_ is the husband of
Adelaida, and Carina is their daughter: that the old, sharp, fat little
body of a queen is Adelaida's mother: that they all like Enrico
Persevalli, because he is a very clever man: but that the 'Comic', Il
Brillante, Francesco, is unsatisfied.

In three performances in Epiphany week, the company took two hundred and
sixty-five francs, which was phenomenal. The manager, Enrico Persevalli,
and Adelaida pay twenty-four francs for every performance, or every
evening on which a performance is given, as rent for the theatre,
including light. The company is completely satisfied with its reception
on the Lago di Garda.

So it is all over. The Bersaglieri go running all the way home, because
it is already past half past ten. The night is very dark. About four
miles up the lake the searchlights of the Austrian border are swinging,
looking for smugglers. Otherwise the darkness is complete.



_4_

SAN GAUDENZIO


In the autumn the little rosy cyclamens blossom in the shade of this
west side of the lake. They are very cold and fragrant, and their scent
seems to belong to Greece, to the Bacchae. They are real flowers of the
past. They seem to be blossoming in the landscape of Phaedra and Helen.
They bend down, they brood like little chill fires. They are little
living myths that I cannot understand.

After the cyclamens the Christmas roses are in bud. It is at this season
that the cacchi are ripe on the trees in the garden, whole naked trees
full of lustrous, orange-yellow, paradisal fruit, gleaming against the
wintry blue sky. The monthly roses still blossom frail and pink, there
are still crimson and yellow roses. But the vines are bare and the
lemon-houses shut. And then, mid-winter, the lowest buds of the
Christmas roses appear under the hedges and rocks and by the streams.
They are very lovely, these first large, cold, pure buds, like violets,
like magnolias, but cold, lit up with the light from the snow.

The days go by, through the brief silence of winter, when the sunshine
is so still and pure, like iced wine, and the dead leaves gleam brown,
and water sounds hoarse in the ravines. It is so still and transcendent,
the cypress trees poise like flames of forgotten darkness, that should
have been blown out at the end of the summer. For as we have candles to
light the darkness of night, so the cypresses are candles to keep the
darkness aflame in the full sunshine.

Meanwhile, the Christmas roses become many. They rise from their budded,
intact humbleness near the ground, they rise up, they throw up their
crystal, they become handsome, they are heaps of confident, mysterious
whiteness in the shadow of a rocky stream. It is almost uncanny to see
them. They are the flowers of darkness, white and wonderful
beyond belief.

Then their radiance becomes soiled and brown, they thaw, break, and
scatter and vanish away. Already the primroses are coming out, and the
almond is in bud. The winter is passing away. On the mountains the
fierce snow gleams apricot gold as evening approaches, golden, apricot,
but so bright that it is almost frightening. What can be so fiercely
gleaming when all is shadowy? It is something inhuman and unmitigated
between heaven and earth.

The heavens are strange and proud all the winter, their progress goes on
without reference to the dim earth. The dawns come white and
translucent, the lake is a moonstone in the dark hills, then across the
lake there stretches a vein of fire, then a whole, orange, flashing
track over the whiteness. There is the exquisite silent passage of the
day, and then at evening the afterglow, a huge incandescence of rose,
hanging above and gleaming, as if it were the presence of a host of
angels in rapture. It gleams like a rapturous chorus, then passes away,
and the stars appear, large and flashing.

Meanwhile, the primroses are dawning on the ground, their light is
growing stronger, spreading over the banks and under the bushes. Between
the olive roots the violets are out, large, white, grave violets, and
less serious blue ones. And looking down the bill, among the grey smoke
of olive leaves, pink puffs of smoke are rising up. It is the almond and
the apricot trees, it is the Spring.

Soon the primroses are strong on the ground. There is a bank of small,
frail crocuses shooting the lavender into this spring. And then the
tussocks and tussocks of primroses are fully out, there is full morning
everywhere on the banks and roadsides and stream-sides, and around the
olive roots, a morning of primroses underfoot, with an invisible
threading of many violets, and then the lovely blue clusters of
hepatica, really like pieces of blue sky showing through a clarity of
primrose. The few birds are piping thinly and shyly, the streams sing
again, there is a strange flowering shrub full of incense, overturned
flowers of crimson and gold, like Bohemian glass. Between the olive
roots new grass is coming, day is leaping all clear and coloured from
the earth, it is full Spring, full first rapture.

Does it pass away, or does it only lose its pristine quality? It deepens
and intensifies, like experience. The days seem to be darker and richer,
there is a sense of power in the strong air. On the banks by the lake
the orchids are out, many, many pale bee-orchids standing clear from the
short grass over the lake. And in the hollows are the grape hyacinths,
purple as noon, with the heavy, sensual fragrance of noon. They are
many-breasted, and full of milk, and ripe, and sun-darkened, like
many-breasted Diana.

We could not bear to live down in the village any more, now that the
days opened large and spacious and the evenings drew out in sunshine. We
could not bear the indoors, when above us the mountains shone in clear
air. It was time to go up, to climb with the sun.

So after Easter we went to San Gaudenzio. It was three miles away, up
the winding mule-track that climbed higher and higher along the lake.
Leaving the last house of the village, the path wound on the steep,
cliff-like side of the lake, curving into the hollow where the landslip
had tumbled the rocks in chaos, then out again on to the bluff of a
headland that hung over the lake.

Thus we came to the tall barred gate of San Gaudenzio, on which was the
usual little fire-insurance tablet, and then the advertisements for
beer, 'Birra, Verona', which is becoming a more and more popular drink.

Through the gate, inside the high wall, is the little Garden of Eden, a
property of three or four acres fairly level upon a headland over the
lake. The high wall girds it on the land side, and makes it perfectly
secluded. On the lake-side it is bounded by the sudden drops of the
land, in sharp banks and terraces, overgrown with ilex and with laurel
bushes, down to the brink of the cliff, so that the thicket of the first
declivities seems to safeguard the property.

The pink farm-house stands almost in the centre of the little territory,
among the olive trees. It is a solid, six-roomed place, about fifty
years old, having been rebuilt by Paolo's uncle. Here we came to live
for a time with the Fiori, Maria and Paolo, and their three children,
Giovanni and Marco and Felicina.

Paolo had inherited, or partly inherited, San Gaudenzio, which had been
in his family for generations. He was a peasant of fifty-three, very
grey and wrinkled and worn-looking, but at the same time robust, with
full strong limbs and a powerful chest. His face was old, but his body
was solid and powerful. His eyes were blue like upper ice, beautiful. He
had been a fair-haired man, now he was almost white.

He, was strangely like the pictures of peasants in the northern Italian
pictures, with the same curious nobility, the same aristocratic, eternal
look of motionlessness, something statuesque. His head was hard and
fine, the bone finely constructed, though the skin of his face was loose
and furrowed with work. His temples had that fine, hard clarity which is
seen in Mantegna, an almost jewel-like quality.

We all loved Paolo, he was so finished in his being, detached, with an
almost classic simplicity and gentleness, an eternal kind of sureness.
There was also something concluded and unalterable about him, something
inaccessible.

Maria Fiori was different. She was from the plain, like Enrico
Persevalli and the Bersaglier from the Venetian district. She reminded
me again of oxen, broad-boned and massive in physique, dark-skinned,
slow in her soul. But, like the oxen of the plain, she knew her work,
she knew the other people engaged in the work. Her intelligence was
attentive and purposive. She had been a housekeeper, a servant, in
Venice and Verona, before her marriage. She had got the hang of this
world of commerce and activity, she wanted to master it. But she was
weighted down by her heavy animal blood.

Paolo and she were the opposite sides of the universe, the light and the
dark. Yet they lived together now without friction, detached, each
subordinated in their common relationship. With regard to Maria, Paolo
omitted himself; Maria omitted herself with regard to Paolo. Their souls
were silent and detached, completely apart, and silent, quite silent.
They shared the physical relationship of marriage as if it were
something beyond them, a third thing.

They had suffered very much in the earlier stages of their connexion.
Now the storm had gone by, leaving them, as it were, spent. They were
both by nature passionate, vehement. But the lines of their passion were
opposite. Hers was the primitive, crude, violent flux of the blood,
emotional and undiscriminating, but wanting to mix and mingle. His was
the hard, clear, invulnerable passion of the bones, finely tempered and
unchangeable. She was the flint and he the steel. But in continual
striking together they only destroyed each other. The fire was a third
thing, belonging to neither of them.

She was still heavy and full of desire. She was much younger than he.

'How long did you know your Signora before you were married?' she asked
me.

'Six weeks,' I said.

'_Il Paolo e me, venti giorni, tre settimane_,' she cried vehemently.
Three weeks they had known each other when they married. She still
triumphed in the fact. So did Paolo. But it was past, strangely and
rather terribly past.

What did they want when they came together, Paolo and she? He was a man
over thirty, she was a woman of twenty-three. They were both violent in
desire and of strong will. They came together at once, like two
wrestlers almost matched in strength. Their meetings must have been
splendid. Giovanni, the eldest child, was a tall lad of sixteen, with
soft brown hair and grey eyes, and a clarity of brow, and the same calm
simplicity of bearing which made Paolo so complete; but the son had at
the same time a certain brownness of skin, a heaviness of blood, which
he had from his mother. Paolo was so clear and translucent.

In Giovanni the fusion of the parents was perfect, he was a perfect
spark from the flint and steel. There was in Paolo a subtle intelligence
in feeling, a delicate appreciation of the other person. But the mind
was unintelligent, he could not grasp a new order. Maria Fiori was much
sharper and more adaptable to the ways of the world. Paolo had an almost
glass-like quality, fine and clear and perfectly tempered; but he was
also finished and brittle. Maria was much coarser, more vulgar, but also
she was more human, more fertile, with crude potentiality. His passion
was too fixed in its motion, hers too loose and overwhelming.

But Giovanni was beautiful, gentle, and courtly like Paolo, but warm,
like Maria, ready to flush like a girl with anger or confusion. He stood
straight and tall, and seemed to look into the far distance with his
clear grey eyes. Yet also he could look at one and touch one with his
look, he could meet one. Paolo's blue eyes were like the eyes of the old
spinning-woman, clear and blue and belonging to the mountains, their
vision seemed to end in space, abstract. They reminded me of the eyes of
the eagle, which looks into the sun, and which teaches its young to do
the same, although they are unwilling.

Marco, the second son, was thirteen years old. He was his mother's
favourite, Giovanni loved his father best. But Marco was his mother's
son, with the same brown-gold and red complexion, like a pomegranate,
and coarse black hair, and brown eyes like pebble, like agate, like an
animal's eyes. He had the same broad, bovine figure, though he was only
a boy. But there was some discrepancy in him. He was not unified, he had
no identity.

He was strong and full of animal life, but always aimless, as though his
wits scarcely controlled him. But he loved his mother with a
fundamental, generous, undistinguishing love. Only he always forgot what
he was going to do. He was much more sensitive than Maria, more shy and
reluctant. But his shyness, his sensitiveness only made him more aimless
and awkward, a tiresome clown, slack and uncontrolled, witless. All day
long his mother shouted and shrilled and scolded at him, or hit him
angrily. He did not mind, he came up like a cork, warm and roguish and
curiously appealing. She loved him with a fierce protective love,
grounded on pain. There was such a split, a contrariety in his soul, one
part reacting against the other, which landed him always into trouble.

It was when Marco was a baby that Paolo had gone to America. They were
poor on San Gaudenzio. There were the few olive trees, the grapes, and
the fruit; there was the one cow. But these scarcely made a living.
Neither was Maria content with the real peasants' lot any more, polenta
at midday and vegetable soup in the evening, and no way out, nothing to
look forward to, no future, only this eternal present. She had been in
service, and had eaten bread and drunk coffee, and known the flux and
variable chance of life. She had departed from the old static
conception. She knew what one might be, given a certain chance. The
fixture was the thing she militated against. So Paolo went to America,
to California, into the gold mines.

Maria wanted the future, the endless possibility of life on earth. She
wanted her sons to be freer, to achieve a new plane of living. The
peasant's life was a slave's life, she said, railing against the poverty
and the drudgery. And it was quite true, Paolo and Giovanni worked
twelve and fourteen hours a day at heavy laborious work that would have
broken an Englishman. And there was nothing at the end of it. Yet Paolo
was even happy so. This was the truth to him.

It was the mother who wanted things different. It was she who railed and
railed against the miserable life of the peasants. When we were going to
throw to the fowls a dry broken penny roll of white bread, Maria said,
with anger and shame and resentment in her voice: 'Give it to Marco, he
will eat it. It isn't too dry for him.'

White bread was a treat for them even now, when everybody eats bread.
And Maria Fiori hated it, that bread should be a treat to her children,
when it was the meanest food of all the rest of the world. She was in
opposition to this order. She did not want her sons to be peasants,
fixed and static as posts driven in the earth. She wanted them to be in
the great flux of life in the midst of all possibilities. So she at
length sent Paolo to America to the gold-mines. Meanwhile, she covered
the wall of her parlour with picture postcards, to bring the outer world
of cities and industries into her house.

Paolo was entirely remote from Maria's world. He had not yet even
grasped the fact of money, not thoroughly. He reckoned in land and olive
trees. So he had the old fatalistic attitude to his circumstances, even
to his food. The earth was the Lord's and the fulness thereof; also the
leanness thereof. Paolo could only do his part and leave the rest. If he
ate in plenty, having oil and wine and sausage in the house, and plenty
of maize-meal, he was glad with the Lord. If he ate meagrely, of poor
polenta, that was fate, it was the skies that ruled these things, and no
man ruled the skies. He took his fate as it fell from the skies.

Maria was exorbitant about money. She would charge us all she could for
what we had and for what was done for us.

Yet she was not mean in her soul. In her soul she was in a state of
anger because of her own closeness. It was a violation to her strong
animal nature. Yet her mind had wakened to the value of money. She knew
she could alter her position, the position of her children, by virtue of
money. She knew it was only money that made the difference between
master and servant. And this was all the difference she would
acknowledge. So she ruled her life according to money. Her supreme
passion was to be mistress rather than servant, her supreme aspiration
for her children was that in the end they might be masters and
not servants.

Paolo was untouched by all this. For him there was some divinity about a
master which even America had not destroyed. If we came in for supper
whilst the family was still at table he would have the children at once
take their plates to the wall, he would have Maria at once set the table
for us, though their own meal were never finished. And this was not
servility, it was the dignity of a religious conception. Paolo regarded
us as belonging to the Signoria, those who are elect, near to God. And
this was part of his religious service. His life was a ritual. It was
very beautiful, but it made me unhappy, the purity of his spirit was so
sacred and the actual facts seemed such a sacrilege to it. Maria was
nearer to the actual truth when she said that money was the only
distinction. But Paolo had hold of an eternal truth, where hers was
temporal. Only Paolo misapplied this eternal truth. He should not have
given Giovanni the inferior status and a fat, mean Italian tradesman the
superior. That was false, a real falsity. Maria knew it and hated it.
But Paolo could not distinguish between the accident of riches and the
aristocracy of the spirit. So Maria rejected him altogether, and went to
the other extreme. We were all human beings like herself; naked, there
was no distinction between us, no higher nor lower. But we were
possessed of more money than she. And she had to steer her course
between these two conceptions. The money alone made the real
distinction, the separation; the being, the life made the common level.

Paolo had the curious peasant's avarice also, but it was not meanness.
It was a sort of religious conservation of his own power, his own self.
Fortunately he could leave all business transactions on our account to
Maria, so that his relation with us was purely ritualistic. He would
have given me anything, trusting implicitly that I would fulfil my own
nature as Signore, one of those more godlike, nearer the light of
perfection than himself, a peasant. It was pure bliss to him to bring us
the first-fruit of the garden, it was like laying it on an altar.

And his fulfilment was in a fine, subtle, exquisite relationship, not of
manners, but subtle interappreciation. He worshipped a finer
understanding and a subtler tact. A further fineness and dignity and
freedom in bearing was to him an approach towards the divine, so he
loved men best of all, they fulfilled his soul. A woman was always a
woman, and sex was a low level whereon he did not esteem himself. But a
man, a doer, the instrument of God, he was really godlike.

Paolo was a Conservative. For him the world was established and divine
in its establishment. His vision grasped a small circle. A finer nature,
a higher understanding, took in a greater circle, comprehended the
whole. So that when Paolo was in relation to a man of further vision, he
himself was extended towards the whole. Thus he was fulfilled. And his
initial assumption was that every signore, every gentleman, was a man of
further, purer vision than himself. This assumption was false. But
Maria's assumption, that no one had a further vision, no one was more
elect than herself, that we are all one flesh and blood and being, was
even more false. Paolo was mistaken in actual life, but Maria was
ultimately mistaken.

Paolo, conservative as he was, believing that a priest must be a priest
of God, yet very rarely went to church. And he used the religious oaths
that Maria hated, even _Porca-Maria_. He always used oaths, either
Bacchus or God or Mary or the Sacrament. Maria was always offended. Yet
it was she who, in her soul, jeered at the Church and at religion. She
wanted the human society as the absolute, without religious
abstractions. So Paolo's oaths enraged her, because of their profanity,
she said. But it was really because of their subscribing to another
superhuman order. She jeered at the clerical people. She made a loud
clamour of derision when the parish priest of the village above went
down to the big village on the lake, and across the piazza, the quay,
with two pigs in a sack on his shoulder. This was a real picture of the
sacred minister to her.

One day, when a storm had blown down an olive tree in front of the
house, and Paolo and Giovanni were beginning to cut it up, this same
priest of Mugiano came to San Gaudenzio. He was an iron-grey, thin,
disreputable-looking priest, very talkative and loud and queer. He
seemed like an old ne'er-do-well in priests' black, and he talked
loudly, almost to himself, as drunken people do. At once _he_ must show
the Fiori how to cut up the tree, he must have the axe from Paolo. He
shouted to Maria for a glass of wine. She brought it out to him with a
sort of insolent deference, insolent contempt of the man and traditional
deference to the cloth. The priest drained the tumblerful of wine at one
drink, his thin throat with its Adam's apple working. And he did not pay
the penny.

Then he stripped off his cassock and put away his hat, and, a ludicrous
figure in ill-fitting black knee-breeches and a not very clean shirt, a
red handkerchief round his neck, he proceeded to give great extravagant
blows at the tree. He was like a caricature. In the doorway Maria was
encouraging him rather jeeringly, whilst she winked at me. Marco was
stifling his hysterical amusement in his mother's apron, and prancing
with glee. Paolo and Giovanni stood by the fallen tree, very grave and
unmoved, inscrutable, abstract. Then the youth came away to the doorway,
with a flush mounting on his face and a grimace distorting its
youngness. Only Paolo, unmoved and detached, stood by the tree with
unchanging, abstract face, very strange, his eyes fixed in the ageless
stare which is so characteristic.

Meanwhile the priest swung drunken blows at the tree, his thin buttocks
bending in the green-black broadcloth, supported on thin shanks, and
thin throat growing dull purple in the red-knotted kerchief.
Nevertheless he was doing the job. His face was wet with sweat. He
wanted another glass of wine.

He took no notice of us. He was strangely a local, even a mountebank
figure, but entirely local, an appurtenance of the district.

It was Maria who jeeringly told us the story of the priest, who shrugged
her shoulders to imply that he was a contemptible figure. Paolo sat with
the abstract look on his face, as of one who hears and does not hear, is
not really concerned. He never opposed or contradicted her, but stayed
apart. It was she who was violent and brutal in her ways. But sometimes
Paolo went into a rage, and then Maria, everybody, was afraid. It was a
white heavy rage, when his blue eyes shone unearthly, and his mouth
opened with a curious drawn blindness of the old Furies. There was
something of the cruelty of a falling mass of snow, heavy, horrible.
Maria drew away, there was a silence. Then the avalanche was finished.

They must have had some cruel fights before they learned to withdraw
from each other so completely. They must have begotten Marco in hatred,
terrible disintegrated opposition and otherness. And it was after this,
after the child of their opposition was born, that Paolo went away to
California, leaving his San Gaudenzio, travelling with several
companions, like blind beasts, to Havre, and thence to New York, then to
California. He stayed five years in the gold-mines, in a wild valley,
living with a gang of Italians in a town of corrugated iron.

All the while he had never really left San Gaudenzio. I asked him, 'Used
you to think of it, the lake, the Monte Baldo, the laurel trees down the
slope?' He tried to see what I wanted to know. Yes, he said--but
uncertainly. I could see that he had never been really homesick. It had
been very wretched on the ship going from Havre to New York. That he
told me about. And he told me about the gold-mines, the galleries, the
valley, the huts in the valley. But he had never really fretted for San
Gaudenzio whilst he was in California.

In real truth he was at San Gaudenzio all the time, his fate was riveted
there. His going away was an excursion from reality, a kind of
sleep-walking. He left his own reality there in the soil above the lake
of Garda. That his body was in California, what did it matter? It was
merely for a time, and for the sake of his own earth, his land. He would
pay off the mortgage. But the gate at home was his gate all the time,
his hand was on the latch.

As for Maria, he had felt his duty towards her. She was part of his
little territory, the rooted centre of the world. He sent her home the
money. But it did not occur to him, in his soul, to miss her. He wanted
her to be safe with the children, that was all. In his flesh perhaps he
missed the woman. But his spirit was even more completely isolated since
marriage. Instead of having united with each other, they had made each
other more terribly distinct and separate. He could live alone
eternally. It was his condition. His sex was functional, like eating and
drinking. To take a woman, a prostitute at the camp, or not to take her,
was no more vitally important than to get drunk or not to get drunk of a
Sunday. And fairly often on Sunday Paolo got drunk. His world remained
unaltered.

But Maria suffered more bitterly. She was a young, powerful, passionate
woman, and she was unsatisfied body and soul. Her soul's satisfaction
became a bodily unsatisfaction. Her blood was heavy, violent, anarchic,
insisting on the equality of the blood in all, and therefore on her own
absolute right to satisfaction.

She took a wine licence for San Gaudenzio, and she sold wine. There were
many scandals about her. Somehow it did not matter very much, outwardly.
The authorities were too divided among themselves to enforce public
opinion. Between the clerical party and the radicals and the socialists,
what canons were left that were absolute? Besides, these wild villages
had always been ungoverned.

Yet Maria suffered. Even she, according to her conviction belonged to
Paolo. And she felt betrayed, betrayed and deserted. The iron had gone
deep into her soul. Paolo had deserted her, she had been betrayed to
other men for five years. There was something cruel and implacable in
life. She sat sullen and heavy, for all her quick activity. Her soul was
sullen and heavy.

I could never believe Felicina was Paolo's child. She was an
unprepossessing little girl, affected, cold, selfish, foolish. Maria and
Paolo, with real Italian greatness, were warm and natural towards the
child in her. But they did not love her in their very souls, she was the
fruit of ash to them. And this must have been the reason that she was so
self-conscious and foolish and affected, small child that she was.

Paolo had come back from America a year before she was born--a year
before she was born, Maria insisted. The husband and wife lived together
in a relationship of complete negation. In his soul he was sad for her,
and in her soul she felt annulled. He sat at evening in the
chimney-seat, smoking, always pleasant and cheerful, not for a moment
thinking he was unhappy. It had all taken place in his subconsciousness.
But his eyebrows and eyelids were lifted in a kind of vacancy, his blue
eyes were round and somehow finished, though he was so gentle and
vigorous in body. But the very quick of him was killed. He was like a
ghost in the house, with his loose throat and powerful limbs, his open,
blue extinct eyes, and his musical, slightly husky voice, that seemed to
sound out of the past.

And Maria, stout and strong and handsome like a peasant woman, went
about as if there were a weight on her, and her voice was high and
strident. She, too, was finished in her life. But she remained unbroken,
her will was like a hammer that destroys the old form.

Giovanni was patiently labouring to learn a little English. Paolo knew
only four or five words, the chief of which were 'a'right', 'boss',
'bread', and 'day'. The youth had these by heart, and was studying a
little more. He was very graceful and lovable, but he found it difficult
to learn. A confused light, like hot tears, would come into his eyes
when he had again forgotten the phrase. But he carried the paper about
with him, and he made steady progress.

He would go to America, he also. Not for anything would he stay in San
Gaudenzio. His dream was to be gone. He would come back. The world was
not San Gaudenzio to Giovanni.

The old order, the order of Paolo and of Pietro di Paoli, the
aristocratic order of the supreme God, God the Father, the Lord, was
passing away from the beautiful little territory. The household no
longer receives its food, oil and wine and maize, from out of the earth
in the motion of fate. The earth is annulled, and money takes its place.
The landowner, who is the lieutenant of God and of Fate, like Abraham,
he, too, is annulled. There is now the order of the rich, which
supersedes the order of the Signoria.

It is passing away from Italy as it has passed from England. The peasant
is passing away, the workman is taking his place. The stability is gone.
Paolo is a ghost, Maria is the living body. And the new order means
sorrow for the Italian more even than it has meant for us. But he will
have the new order.

San Gaudenzio is already becoming a thing of the past. Below the house,
where the land drops in sharp slips to the sheer cliff's edge, over
which it is Maria's constant fear that Felicina will tumble, there are
the deserted lemon gardens of the little territory, snug down below.
They are invisible till one descends by tiny paths, sheer down into
them. And there they stand, the pillars and walls erect, but a dead
emptiness prevailing, lemon trees all dead, gone, a few vines in their
place. It is only twenty years since the lemon trees finally perished of
a disease and were not renewed. But the deserted terrace, shut between
great walls, descending in their openness full to the south, to the lake
and the mountain opposite, seem more terrible than Pompeii in their
silence and utter seclusion. The grape hyacinths flower in the cracks,
the lizards run, this strange place hangs suspended and forgotten,
forgotten for ever, its erect pillars utterly meaningless.

I used to sit and write in the great loft of the lemon-house, high up,
far, far from the ground, the open front giving across the lake and the
mountain snow opposite, flush with twilight. The old matting and boards,
the old disused implements of lemon culture made shadows in the deserted
place. Then there would come the call from the back, away above:
'_Venga, venga mangiare_.'

We ate in the kitchen, where the olive and laurel wood burned in the
open fireplace. It was always soup in the evening. Then we played games
or cards, all playing; or there was singing, with the accordion, and
sometimes a rough mountain peasant with a guitar.

But it is all passing away. Giovanni is in America, unless he has come
back to the War. He will not want to live in San Gaudenzio when he is a
man, he says. He and Marco will not spend their lives wringing a little
oil and wine out of the rocky soil, even if they are not killed in the
fighting which is going on at the end of the lake. In my loft by the
lemon-houses now I should hear the guns. And Giovanni kissed me with a
kind of supplication when I went on to the steamer, as if he were
beseeching for a soul. His eyes were bright and clear and lit up with
courage. He will make a good fight for the new soul he wants--that is,
if they do not kill him in this War.



_5_

THE DANCE


Maria had no real licence for San Gaudenzio, yet the peasants always
called for wine. It is easy to arrange in Italy. The penny is paid
another time.

The wild old road that skirts the lake-side, scrambling always higher as
the precipice becomes steeper, climbing and winding to the villages
perched high up, passes under the high boundary-wall of San Gaudenzio,
between that and the ruined church. But the road went just as much
between the vines and past the house as outside, under the wall; for the
high gates were always open, and men or women and mules come into the
property to call at the door of the homestead. There was a loud shout,
'Ah--a--a--ah--Mari--a. O--O--Oh Pa'o!' from outside, another wild,
inarticulate cry from within, and one of the Fiori appeared in the
doorway to hail the newcomer.

It was usually a man, sometimes a peasant from Mugiano, high up,
sometimes a peasant from the wilds of the mountain, a wood-cutter, or a
charcoal-burner. He came in and sat in the house-place, his glass of
wine in his hand between his knees, or on the floor between his feet,
and he talked in a few wild phrases, very shy, like a hawk indoors, and
unintelligible in his dialect.

Sometimes we had a dance. Then, for the wine to drink, three men came
with mandolines and guitars, and sat in a corner playing their rapid
tunes, while all danced on the dusty brick floor of the little parlour.
No strange women were invited, only men; the young bloods from the big
village on the lake, the wild men from above. They danced the slow,
trailing, lilting polka-waltz round and round the small room, the
guitars and mandolines twanging rapidly, the dust rising from the soft
bricks. There were only the two English women: so men danced with men,
as the Italians love to do. They love even better to dance with men,
with a dear blood-friend, than with women.

'It's better like this, two men?' Giovanni says to me, his blue eyes
hot, his face curiously tender.

The wood-cutters and peasants take off their coats, their throats are
bare. They dance with strange intentness, particularly if they have for
partner an English Signora. Their feet in thick boots are curiously
swift and significant. And it is strange to see the Englishwomen, as
they dance with the peasants transfigured with a kind of brilliant
surprise. All the while the peasants are very courteous, but quiet. They
see the women dilate and flash, they think they have found a footing,
they are certain. So the male dancers are quiet, but even grandiloquent,
their feet nimble, their bodies wild and confident.

They are at a loss when the two English Signoras move together and laugh
excitedly at the end of the dance.

'Isn't it fine?'

'Fine! Their arms are like iron, carrying you round.'

'Yes! Yes! And the muscles on their shoulders! I never knew there were
such muscles! I'm almost frightened.'

'But it's fine, isn't it? I'm getting into the dance.'

'Yes--yes--you've only to let them take you.'

Then the glasses are put down, the guitars give their strange, vibrant,
almost painful summons, and the dance begins again.

It is a strange dance, strange and lilting, and changing as the music
changed. But it had always a kind of leisurely dignity, a trailing kind
of polka-waltz, intimate, passionate, yet never hurried, never violent
in its passion, always becoming more intense. The women's faces changed
to a kind of transported wonder, they were in the very rhythm of
delight. From the soft bricks of the floor the red ochre rose in a thin
cloud of dust, making hazy the shadowy dancers; the three musicians, in
their black hats and their cloaks, sat obscurely in the corner, making a
music that came quicker and quicker, making a dance that grew swifter
and more intense, more subtle, the men seeming to fly and to implicate
other strange inter-rhythmic dance into the women, the women drifting
and palpitating as if their souls shook and resounded to a breeze that
was subtly rushing upon them, through them; the men worked their feet,
their thighs swifter, more vividly, the music came to an almost
intolerable climax, there was a moment when the dance passed into a
possession, the men caught up the women and swung them from the earth,
leapt with them for a second, and then the next phase of the dance had
begun, slower again, more subtly interwoven, taking perfect, oh,
exquisite delight in every interrelated movement, a rhythm within a
rhythm, a subtle approaching and drawing nearer to a climax, nearer,
till, oh, there was the surpassing lift and swing of the women, when the
woman's body seemed like a boat lifted over the powerful, exquisite wave
of the man's body, perfect, for a moment, and then once more the slow,
intense, nearer movement of the dance began, always nearer, nearer,
always to a more perfect climax.

And the women waited as if in transport for the climax, when they would
be flung into a movement surpassing all movement. They were flung, borne
away, lifted like a boat on a supreme wave, into the zenith and nave of
the heavens, consummate.

Then suddenly the dance crashed to an end, and the dancers stood
stranded, lost, bewildered, on a strange shore. The air was full of red
dust, half-lit by the lamp on the wall; the players in the corner were
putting down their instruments to take up their glasses.

And the dancers sat round the wall, crowding in the little room, faint
with the transport of repeated ecstasy. There was a subtle smile on the
face of the men, subtle, knowing, so finely sensual that the conscious
eyes could scarcely look at it. And the women were dazed, like creatures
dazzled by too much light. The light was still on their faces, like a
blindness, a reeling, like a transfiguration. The men were bringing
wine, on a little tin tray, leaning with their proud, vivid loins, their
faces flickering with the same subtle smile. Meanwhile, Maria Fiori was
splashing water, much water, on the red floor. There was the smell of
water among the glowing, transfigured men and women who sat gleaming in
another world, round the walls.

The peasants have chosen their women. For the dark, handsome
Englishwoman, who looks like a slightly malignant Madonna, comes Il
Duro; for the '_bella bionda_', the wood-cutter. But the peasants have
always to take their turn after the young well-to-do men from the
village below.

Nevertheless, they are confident. They cannot understand the
middle-class diffidence of the young men who wear collars and ties and
finger-rings.

The wood-cutter from the mountain is of medium height, dark, thin, and
hard as a hatchet, with eyes that are black like the very flaming thrust
of night. He is quite a savage. There is something strange about his
dancing, the violent way he works one shoulder. He has a wooden leg,
from the knee-joint. Yet he dances well, and is inordinately proud. He
is fierce as a bird, and hard with energy as a thunderbolt. He will
dance with the blonde signora. But he never speaks. He is like some
violent natural phenomenon rather than a person. The woman begins to
wilt a little in his possession.

'_È bello--il ballo?_' he asked at length, one direct, flashing
question.

'_Si--molto bello_,' cries the woman, glad to have speech again.

The eyes of the wood-cutter flash like actual possession. He seems now
to have come into his own. With all his senses, he is dominant, sure.

He is inconceivably vigorous in body, and his dancing is almost perfect,
with a little catch in it, owing to his lameness, which brings almost a
pure intoxication. Every muscle in his body is supple as steel, supple,
as strong as thunder, and yet so quick, so delicately swift, it is
almost unbearable. As he draws near to the swing, the climax, the
ecstasy, he seems to lie in wait, there is a sense of a great strength
crouching ready. Then it rushes forth, liquid, perfect, transcendent,
the woman swoons over in the dance, and it goes on, enjoyment, infinite,
incalculable enjoyment. He is like a god, a strange natural phenomenon,
most intimate and compelling, wonderful.

But he is not a human being. The woman, somewhere shocked in her
independent soul, begins to fall away from him. She has another being,
which he has not touched, and which she will fall back upon. The dance
is over, she will fall back on herself. It is perfect, too perfect.

During the next dance, while she is in the power of the educated Ettore,
a perfect and calculated voluptuary, who knows how much he can get out
of this Northern woman, and only how much, the wood-cutter stands on the
edge of the darkness, in the open doorway, and watches. He is fixed upon
her, established, perfect. And all the while she is aware of the
insistent hawk-like poising of the face of the wood-cutter, poised on
the edge of the darkness, in the doorway, in possession,
unrelinquishing.

And she is angry. There is something stupid, absurd, in the hard,
talon-like eyes watching so fiercely and so confidently in the doorway,
sure, unmitigated. Has the creature no sense?

The woman reacts from him. For some time she will take no notice of him.
But he waits, fixed. Then she comes near to him, and his will seems to
take hold of her. He looks at her with a strange, proud, inhuman
confidence, as if his influence with her was already accomplished.

'_Venga--venga un po'_,' he says, jerking his head strangely to the
darkness.

'What?' she replies, and passes shaken and dilated and brilliant,
consciously ignoring him, passes away among the others, among those
who are safe.

There is food in the kitchen, great hunks of bread, sliced sausage that
Maria has made, wine, and a little coffee. But only the quality come to
eat. The peasants may not come in. There is eating and drinking in the
little house, the guitars are silent. It is eleven o'clock.

Then there is singing, the strange bestial singing of these hills.
Sometimes the guitars can play an accompaniment, but usually not. Then
the men lift up their heads and send out the high, half-howling music,
astounding. The words are in dialect. They argue among themselves for a
moment: will the Signoria understand? They sing. The Signoria does not
understand in the least. So with a strange, slightly malignant triumph,
the men sing all the verses of their song, sitting round the walls of
the little parlour. Their throats move, their faces have a slight
mocking smile. The boy capers in the doorway like a faun, with glee, his
straight black hair falling over his forehead. The elder brother sits
straight and flushed, but even his eyes glitter with a kind of yellow
light of laughter. Paolo also sits quiet, with the invisible smile on
his face.' Only Maria, large and active, prospering now, keeps
collected, ready to order a shrill silence in the same way as she orders
the peasants, violently, to keep their places.

The boy comes to me and says:

'Do you know, Signore, what they are singing?'

'No,' I say.

So he capers with furious glee. The men with the watchful eyes, all
roused, sit round the wall and sing more distinctly:

    _Si verrà la primavera
    Fiorann' le mandoline,
    Vienn' di basso le Trentine
    Coi 'taliani far' l'amor._

But the next verses are so improper that I pretend not to understand.
The women, with wakened, dilated faces, are listening, listening hard,
their two faces beautiful in their attention, as if listening to
something magical, a long way off. And the men sitting round the wall
sing more plainly, coming nearer to the correct Italian. The song comes
loud and vibrating and maliciously from their reedy throats, it
penetrates everybody. The foreign women can understand the sound, they
can feel the malicious, suggestive mockery. But they cannot catch the
words. The smile becomes more dangerous on the faces of the men.

Then Maria Fiori sees that I have understood, and she cries, in her
loud, overriding voice:

'_Basta--basta._

The men get up, straighten their bodies with a curious, offering
movement. The guitars and mandolines strike the vibrating strings. But
the vague Northern reserve has come over the Englishwomen. They dance
again, but without the fusion in the dance. They have had enough.

The musicians are thanked, they rise and go into the night. The men pass
off in pairs. But the wood-cutter, whose name and whose nickname I could
never hear, still hovered on the edge of the darkness.

Then Maria sent him also away, complaining that he was too wild,
_proprio selvatico_, and only the 'quality' remained, the well-to-do
youths from below. There was a little more coffee, and a talking, a
story of a man who had fallen over a declivity in a lonely part going
home drunk in the evening, and had lain unfound for eighteen hours. Then
a story of a donkey who had kicked a youth in the chest and killed him.

But the women were tired, they would go to bed. Still the two young men
would not go away. We all went out to look at the night.

The stars were very bright overhead, the mountain opposite and the
mountains behind us faintly outlined themselves on the sky. Below, the
lake was a black gulf. A little wind blew cold from the Adige.

In the morning the visitors had gone. They had insisted on staying the
night. They had eaten eight eggs each and much bread at one o'clock in
the morning. Then they had gone to sleep, lying on the floor in the
sitting-room.

In the early sunshine they had drunk coffee and gone down to the village
on the lake. Maria was very pleased. She would have made a good deal of
money. The young men were rich. Her cupidity seemed like her
very blossom.



_6_

IL DURO


The first time I saw Il Duro was on a sunny day when there came up a
party of pleasure-makers to San Gaudenzio. They were three women and
three men. The women were in cotton frocks, one a large, dark, florid
woman in pink, the other two rather insignificant. The men I scarcely
noticed at first, except that two were young and one elderly.

They were a queer party, even on a feast day, coming up purely for
pleasure, in the morning, strange, and slightly uncertain, advancing
between the vines. They greeted Maria and Paolo in loud, coarse voices.
There was something blowsy and uncertain and hesitating about the women
in particular, which made one at once notice them.

Then a picnic was arranged for them out of doors, on the grass. They sat
just in front of the house, under the olive tree, beyond the well. It
should have been pretty, the women in their cotton frocks, and their
friends, sitting with wine and food in the spring sunshine. But somehow
it was not: it was hard and slightly ugly.

But since they were picnicking out of doors, we must do so too. We were
at once envious. But Maria was a little unwilling, and then she set a
table for us.

The strange party did not speak to us, they seemed slightly uneasy and
angry at our presence. I asked Maria who they were. She lifted her
shoulders, and, after a second's cold pause, said they were people from
down below, and then, in her rather strident, shrill, slightly bitter,
slightly derogatory voice, she added:

'They are not people for you, signore. You don't know them.'

She spoke slightly angrily and contemptuously of them, rather
protectively of me. So that vaguely I gathered that they were not quite
'respectable'.

Only one man came into the house. He was very handsome, beautiful
rather, a man of thirty-two or-three, with a clear golden skin, and
perfectly turned face, something godlike. But the expression was
strange. His hair was jet black and fine and smooth, glossy as a bird's
wing, his brows were beautifully drawn, calm above his grey eyes, that
had long dark lashes.

His eyes, however, had a sinister light in them, a pale, slightly
repelling gleam, very much like a god's pale-gleaming eyes, with the
same vivid pallor. And all his face had the slightly malignant,
suffering look of a satyr. Yet he was very beautiful.

He walked quickly and surely, with his head rather down, passing from
his desire to his object, absorbed, yet curiously indifferent, as if the
transit were in a strange world, as if none of what he was doing were
worth the while. Yet he did it for his own pleasure, and the light on
his face, a pale, strange gleam through his clear skin, remained like a
translucent smile, unchanging as time.

He seemed familiar with the household, he came and fetched wine at his
will. Maria was angry with him. She railed loudly and violently. He was
unchanged. He went out with the wine to the party on the grass. Maria
regarded them all with some hostility.

They drank a good deal out there in the sunshine. The women and the
older man talked floridly. Il Duro crouched at the feast in his curious
fashion--he had strangely flexible loins, upon which he seemed to crouch
forward. But he was separate, like an animal that remains quite single,
no matter where it is.

The party remained until about two o'clock. Then, slightly flushed, it
moved on in a ragged group up to the village beyond. I do not know if
they went to one of the inns of the stony village, or to the large
strange house which belonged to the rich young grocer of the village
below, a house kept only for feasts and riots, uninhabited for the most
part. Maria would tell me nothing about them. Only the young well-to-do
grocer, who had lived in Vienna, the Bertolotti, came later in the
afternoon inquiring for the party.

And towards sunset I saw the elderly man of the group stumbling home
very drunk down the path, after the two women, who had gone on in front.
Then Paolo sent Giovanni to see the drunken one safely past the
landslip, which was dangerous. Altogether it was an unsatisfactory
business, very much like any other such party in any other country.

Then in the evening Il Duro came in. His name is Faustino, but everybody
in the village has a nickname, which is almost invariably used. He came
in and asked for supper. We had all eaten. So he ate a little food alone
at the table, whilst we sat round the fire.

Afterwards we played 'Up, Jenkins'. That was the one game we played with
the peasants, except that exciting one of theirs, which consists in
shouting in rapid succession your guesses at the number of fingers
rapidly spread out and shut into the hands again upon the table.

Il Duro joined in the game. And that was because he had been in America,
and now was rich. He felt he could come near to the strange signori. But
he was always inscrutable.

It was queer to look at the hands spread on the table: the Englishwomen,
having rings on their soft fingers; the large fresh hands of the elder
boy, the brown paws of the younger; Paolo's distorted great hard hands
of a peasant; and the big, dark brown, animal, shapely hands
of Faustino.

He had been in America first for two years and then for five
years--seven years altogether--but he only spoke a very little English.
He was always with Italians. He had served chiefly in a flag factory,
and had had very little to do save to push a trolley with flags from the
dyeing-room to the drying-room I believe it was this.

Then he had come home from America with a fair amount of money, he had
taken his uncle's garden, had inherited his uncle's little house, and he
lived quite alone.

He was rich, Maria said, shouting in her strident voice. He at once
disclaimed it, peasant-wise. But before the signori he was glad also to
appear rich. He was mean, that was more, Maria cried, half-teasing, half
getting at him.

He attended to his garden, grew vegetables all the year round, lived in
his little house, and in spring made good money as a vine-grafter: he
was an expert vine-grafter.

After the boys had gone to bed he sat and talked to me. He was curiously
attractive and curiously beautiful, but somehow like stone in his clear
colouring and his clear-cut face. His temples, with the black hair, were
distinct and fine as a work of art.

But always his eyes had this strange, half-diabolic, half-tortured pale
gleam, like a goat's, and his mouth was shut almost uglily, his cheeks
stern. His moustache was brown, his teeth strong and spaced. The women
said it was a pity his moustache was brown.

'_Peccato!--sa, per bellezza, i baffi neri--ah-h!_'

Then a long-drawn exclamation of voluptuous appreciation.

'You live quite alone?' I said to him.

He did. And even when he had been ill he was alone. He had been ill two
years before. His cheeks seemed to harden like marble and to become pale
at the thought. He was afraid, like marble with fear.

'But why,' I said, 'why do you live alone? You are sad--_è triste_.'

He looked at me with his queer, pale eyes. I felt a great static misery
in him, something very strange.

'_Triste!_' he repeated, stiffening up, hostile. I could not understand.

'_Vuol' dire che hai l'aria dolorosa_,' cried Maria, like a chorus
interpreting. And there was always a sort of loud ring of challenge
somewhere in her voice.

'Sad,' I said in English.

'Sad I' he repeated, also in English. And he did not smile or change,
only his face seemed to become more stone-like. And he only looked at
me, into my eyes, with the long, pale, steady, inscrutable look of a
goat, I can only repeat, something stone-like.

'Why,' I said, 'don't you marry? Man doesn't live alone.'

'I don't marry,' he said to me, in his emphatic, deliberate, cold
fashion, 'because I've seen too much. _Ho visto troppo._'

'I don't understand,' I said.

Yet I could feel that Paolo, sitting silent, like a monolith also, in
the chimney opening, he understood: Maria also understood.

Il Duro looked again steadily into my eyes.

'_Ho visto troppo_,' he repeated, and the words seemed engraved on
stone. 'I've seen too much.'

'But you can marry,' I said, 'however much you have seen, if you have
seen all the world.'

He watched me steadily, like a strange creature looking at me.

'What woman?' he said to me.

'You can find a woman--there are plenty of women,' I said.

'Not for me,' he said. 'I have known too many. I've known too much, I
can marry nobody.'

'Do you dislike women?' I said.

'No--quite otherwise. I don't think ill of them.'

'Then why can't you marry? Why must you live alone?'

'Why live with a woman?' he said to me, and he looked mockingly. 'Which
woman is it to be?'

'You can find her,' I said. 'There are many women.'

Again he shook his head in the stony, final fashion.

'Not for me. I have known too much.'

'But does that prevent you from marrying?'

He looked at me steadily, finally. And I could see it was impossible for
us to understand each other, or for me to understand him. I could not
understand the strange white gleam of his eyes, where it came from.

Also I knew he liked me very much, almost loved me, which again was
strange and puzzling. It was as if he were a fairy, a faun, and had no
soul. But he gave me a feeling of vivid sadness, a sadness that gleamed
like phosphorescence. He himself was not sad. There was a completeness
about him, about the pallid otherworld he inhabited, which excluded
sadness. It was too complete, too final, too defined. There was no
yearning, no vague merging off into mistiness.... He was clear and fine
as semi-transparent rock, as a substance in moonlight. He seemed like a
crystal that has achieved its final shape and has nothing more
to achieve.

That night he slept on the floor of the sitting-room. In the morning he
was gone. But a week after he came again, to graft the vines.

All the morning and the afternoon he was among the vines, crouching
before them, cutting them back with his sharp, bright knife, amazingly
swift and sure, like a god. It filled me with a sort of panic to see him
crouched flexibly, like some strange animal god, doubled on his
haunches, before the young vines, and swiftly, vividly, without thought,
cut, cut, cut at the young budding shoots, which fell unheeded on to the
earth. Then again he strode with his curious half-goatlike movement
across the garden, to prepare the lime.

He mixed the messy stuff, cow-dung and lime and water and earth,
carefully with his hands, as if he understood that too. He was not a
worker. He was a creature in intimate communion with the sensible world,
knowing purely by touch the limey mess he mixed amongst, knowing as if
by relation between that soft matter and the matter of himself.

Then again he strode over the earth, a gleaming piece of earth himself,
moving to the young vines. Quickly, with a few clean cuts of the knife,
he prepared the new shoot, which he had picked out of a handful which
lay beside him on the ground; he went finely to the quick of the plant,
inserted the graft, then bound it up, fast, hard.

It was like God grafting the life of man upon the body of the earth,
intimately conjuring with his own flesh.

All the while Paolo stood by, somehow excluded from the mystery, talking
to me, to Faustino. And Il Duro answered easily, as if his mind were
disengaged. It was his senses that were absorbed in the sensible life of
the plant, and the lime and the cow-dung he handled.

Watching him, watching his absorbed, bestial, and yet godlike crouching
before the plant, as if he were the god of lower life, I somehow
understood his isolation, why he did not marry. Pan and the ministers of
Pan do not marry, the sylvan gods. They are single and isolated in
their being.

It is in the spirit that marriage takes place. In the flesh there is
connexion, but only in the spirit is there a new thing created out of
two different antithetic things. In the body I am conjoined with the
woman. But in the spirit my conjunction with her creates a third thing,
an absolute, a Word, which is neither me nor her, nor of me nor of her,
but which is absolute.

And Faustino had none of this spirit. In him sensation itself was
absolute--not spiritual consummation, but physical sensation. So he
could not marry, it was not for him. He belonged to the god Pan, to the
absolute of the senses.

All the while his beauty, so perfect and so defined, fascinated me, a
strange static perfection about him. But his movements, whilst they
fascinated, also repelled. I can always see him crouched before the
vines on his haunches, his haunches doubled together in a complete
animal unconsciousness, his face seeming in its strange golden pallor
and its hardness of line, with the gleaming black of the fine hair on
the brow and temples, like something reflective, like the reflecting
surface of a stone that gleams out of the depths of night. It was like
darkness revealed in its steady, unchanging pallor.

Again he stayed through the evening, having quarrelled once more with
the Maria about money. He quarrelled violently, yet coldly. There was
something terrifying in it. And as soon as the matter of dispute was
settled, all trace of interest or feeling vanished from him.

Yet he liked, above all things, to be near the English signori. They
seemed to exercise a sort of magnetic attraction over him. It was
something of the purely physical world, as a magnetized needle swings
towards soft iron. He was quite helpless in the relation. Only by
mechanical attraction he gravitated into line with us.

But there was nothing between us except our complete difference. It was
like night and day flowing together.



_7_

JOHN


Besides Il Duro, we found another Italian who could speak English, this
time quite well. We had walked about four or five miles up the lake,
getting higher and higher. Then quite suddenly, on the shoulder of a
bluff far up, we came on a village, icy cold, and as if forgotten.

We went into the inn to drink something hot. The fire of olive sticks
was burning in the open chimney, one or two men were talking at a table,
a young woman with a baby stood by the fire watching something boil in a
large pot. Another woman was seen in the house-place beyond.

In the chimney-seats sat a young mule-driver, who had left his two mules
at the door of the inn, and opposite him an elderly stout man. They got
down and offered us the seats of honour, which we accepted with
due courtesy.

The chimneys are like the wide, open chimney-places of old English
cottages, but the hearth is raised about a foot and a half or two feet
from the floor, so that the fire is almost level with the hands; and
those who sit in the chimney-seats are raised above the audience in the
room, something like two gods flanking the fire, looking out of the cave
of ruddy darkness into the open, lower world of the room.

We asked for coffee with milk and rum. The stout landlord took a seat
near us below. The comely young woman with the baby took the tin
coffee-pot that stood among the grey ashes, put in fresh coffee among
the old bottoms, filled it with water, then pushed it more into
the fire.

The landlord turned to us with the usual naïve, curious deference, and
the usual question:

'You are Germans?'

'English.'

'Ah--_Inglesi_.'

Then there is a new note of cordiality--or so I always imagine--and the
rather rough, cattle-like men who are sitting with their wine round the
table look up more amicably. They do not like being intruded upon. Only
the landlord is always affable.

'I have a son who speaks English,' he says: he is a handsome, courtly
old man, of the Falstaff sort.

'Oh!'

'He has been in America.'

'And where is he now?'

'He is at home. O--Nicoletta, where is the Giovann'?'

The comely young woman with the baby came in.

'He is with the band,' she said.

The old landlord looked at her with pride.

'This is my daughter-in-law,' he said.

She smiled readily to the Signora.

'And the baby?' we asked.

'_Mio figlio_,' cried the young woman, in the strong, penetrating voice
of these women. And she came forward to show the child to the Signora.

It was a bonny baby: the whole company was united in adoration and
service of the bambino. There was a moment of suspension, when religious
submission seemed to come over the inn-room.

Then the Signora began to talk, and it broke upon the Italian
child-reverence.

'What is he called?'

'Oscare,' came the ringing note of pride. And the mother talked to the
baby in dialect. All, men and women alike, felt themselves glorified by
the presence of the child.

At last the coffee in the tin coffee-pot was boiling and frothing out of
spout and lid. The milk in the little copper pan was also hot, among the
ashes. So we had our drink at last.

The landlord was anxious for us to see Giovanni, his son. There was a
village band performing up the street, in front of the house of a
colonel who had come home wounded from Tripoli. Everybody in the village
was wildly proud about the colonel and about the brass band, the music
of which was execrable.

We just looked into the street. The band of uncouth fellows was playing
the same tune over and over again before a desolate, newish house. A
crowd of desolate, forgotten villagers stood round in the cold upper
air. It seemed altogether that the place was forgotten by God and man.

But the landlord, burly, courteous, handsome, pointed out with a
flourish the Giovanni, standing in the band playing a cornet. The band
itself consisted only of five men, rather like beggars in the street.
But Giovanni was the strangest! He was tall and thin and somewhat
German-looking, wearing shabby American clothes and a very high double
collar and a small American crush hat. He looked entirely like a
ne'er-do-well who plays a violin in the street, dressed in the most
down-at-heel, sordid respectability.

'That is he--you see, Signore--the young one under the balcony.'

The father spoke with love and pride, and the father was a gentleman,
like Falstaff, a pure gentleman. The daughter-in-law also peered out to
look at Il Giovann', who was evidently a figure of repute, in his
sordid, degenerate American respectability. Meanwhile, this figure of
repute blew himself red in the face, producing staccato strains on his
cornet. And the crowd stood desolate and forsaken in the cold, upper
afternoon.

Then there was a sudden rugged '_Evviva, Evviva_!' from the people, the
band stopped playing, somebody valiantly broke into a line of the song:

    _Tripoli, sarà italiana,
    Sarà italiana al rombo del cannon'._

The colonel had appeared on the balcony, a smallish man, very yellow in
the face, with grizzled black hair and very shabby legs. They all seemed
so sordidly, hopelessly shabby.

He suddenly began to speak, leaning forward, hot and feverish and
yellow, upon the iron rail of the balcony. There was something hot and
marshy and sick about him, slightly repulsive, less than human. He told
his fellow-villagers how he loved them, how, when he lay uncovered on
the sands of Tripoli, week after week, he had known they were watching
him from the Alpine height of the village, he could feel that where he
was they were all looking. When the Arabs came rushing like things gone
mad, and he had received his wound, he had known that in his own
village, among his own dear ones, there was recovery. Love would heal
the wounds, the home country was a lover who would heal all her sons'
wounds with love.

Among the grey desolate crowd were sharp, rending 'Bravos!'--the people
were in tears--the landlord at my side was repeating softly,
abstractedly: '_Caro--caro--Ettore, caro colonello_--' and when it was
finished, and the little colonel with shabby, humiliated legs was gone
in, he turned to me and said, with challenge that almost frightened me:

'_Un brav' uomo_.'

'_Bravissimo_,' I said.

Then we, too, went indoors.

It was all, somehow, grey and hopeless and acrid, unendurable.

The colonel, poor devil--we knew him afterwards--is now dead. It is
strange that he is dead. There is something repulsive to me in the
thought of his lying dead: such a humiliating, somehow degraded corpse.
Death has no beauty in Italy, unless it be violent. The death of man or
woman through sickness is an occasion of horror, repulsive. They belong
entirely to life, they are so limited to life, these people.

Soon the Giovanni came home, and took his cornet upstairs. Then he came
to see us. He was an ingenuous youth, sordidly shabby and dirty. His
fair hair was long and uneven, his very high starched collar made one
aware that his neck and his ears were not clean, his American crimson
tie was ugly, his clothes looked as if they had been kicking about on
the floor for a year.

Yet his blue eyes were warm and his manner and speech very gentle.

'You will speak English with us,' I said.

'Oh,' he said, smiling and shaking his head, 'I could speak English very
well. But it is two years that I don't speak it now, over two years now,
so I don't speak it.'

'But you speak it very well.'

'No. It is two years that I have not spoke, not a word--so, you see, I
have--'

'You have forgotten it? No, you haven't. It will quickly come back.'

'If I hear it--when I go to America--then I shall--I shall--'

'You will soon pick it up.'

'Yes--I shall pick it up.'

The landlord, who had been watching with pride, now went away. The wife
also went away, and we were left with the shy, gentle, dirty, and
frowsily-dressed Giovanni.

He laughed in his sensitive, quick fashion.

'The women in America, when they came into the store, they said, "Where
is John, where is John?" Yes, they liked me.'

And he laughed again, glancing with vague, warm blue eyes, very shy,
very coiled upon himself with sensitiveness.

He had managed a store in America, in a smallish town. I glanced at his
reddish, smooth, rather knuckly hands, and thin wrists in the frayed
cuff. They were real shopman's hands.

The landlord brought some special feast-day cake, so overjoyed he was to
have his Giovanni speaking English with the Signoria.

When we went away, we asked 'John' to come down to our villa to see us.
We scarcely expected him to turn up.

Yet one morning he appeared, at about half past nine, just as we were
finishing breakfast. It was sunny and warm and beautiful, so we asked
him please to come with us picnicking.

He was a queer shoot, again, in his unkempt longish hair and slovenly
clothes, a sort of very vulgar down-at-heel American in appearance. And
he was transported with shyness. Yet ours was the world he had chosen as
his own, so he took his place bravely and simply, a hanger-on.

We climbed up the water-course in the mountain-side, up to a smooth
little lawn under the olive trees, where daisies were flowering and
gladioli were in bud. It was a tiny little lawn of grass in a level
crevice, and sitting there we had the world below us--the lake, the
distant island, the far-off low Verona shore.

Then 'John' began to talk, and he talked continuously, like a foreigner,
not saying the things he would have said in Italian, but following the
suggestion and scope of his limited English.

In the first place, he loved his father--it was 'my father, my father'
always. His father had a little shop as well as the inn in the village
above. So John had had some education. He had been sent to Brescia and
then to Verona to school, and there had taken his examinations to become
a civil engineer. He was clever, and could pass his examinations. But he
never finished his course. His mother died, and his father,
disconsolate, had wanted him at home. Then he had gone back, when he was
sixteen or seventeen, to the village beyond the lake, to be with his
father and to look after the shop.

'But didn't you mind giving up all your work?' I said.

He did not quite understand.

'My father wanted me to come back,' he said.

It was evident that Giovanni had had no definite conception of what he
was doing or what he wanted to do. His father, wishing to make a
gentleman of him, had sent him to school in Verona. By accident he had
been moved on into the engineering course. When it all fizzled to an
end, and he returned half-baked to the remote, desolate village of the
mountain-side, he was not disappointed or chagrined. He had never
conceived of a coherent purposive life. Either one stayed in the
village, like a lodged stone, or one made random excursions into the
world, across the world. It was all aimless and purposeless.

So he had stayed a while with his father, then he had gone, just as
aimlessly, with a party of men who were emigrating to America. He had
taken some money, had drifted about, living in the most comfortless,
wretched fashion, then he had found a place somewhere in Pennsylvania,
in a dry goods store. This was when he was seventeen or eighteen
years old.

All this seemed to have happened to him without his being very much
affected, at least consciously. His nature was simple and self-complete.
Yet not so self-complete as that of Il Duro or Paolo. They had passed
through the foreign world and been quite untouched. Their souls were
static, it was the world that had flowed unstable by.

But John was more sensitive, he had come more into contact with his new
surroundings. He had attended night classes almost every evening, and
had been taught English like a child. He had loved the American free
school, the teachers, the work.

But he had suffered very much in America. With his curious,
over-sensitive, wincing laugh, he told us how the boys had followed him
and jeered at him, calling after him, 'You damn Dago, you damn Dago.'
They had stopped him and his friend in the street and taken away their
hats, and spat into them. So that at last he had gone mad. They were
youths and men who always tortured him, using bad language which
startled us very much as he repeated it, there on the little lawn under
the olive trees, above the perfect lake: English obscenities and abuse
so coarse and startling that we bit our lips, shocked almost into
laughter, whilst John, simple and natural, and somehow, for all his long
hair and dirty appearance, flower-like in soul, repeated to us these
things which may never be repeated in decent company.

'Oh,' he said, 'at last, I get mad. When they come one day, shouting,
"You damn Dago, dirty dog," and will take my hat again, oh, I get mad,
and I would kill them, I would kill them, I am so mad. I run to them,
and throw one to the floor, and I tread on him while I go upon another,
the biggest. Though they hit me and kick me all over, I feel nothing, I
am mad. I throw the biggest to the floor, a man; he is older than I am,
and I hit him so hard I would kill him. When the others see it they are
afraid, they throw stones and hit me on the face. But I don't feel it--I
don't know nothing. I hit the man on the floor, I almost kill him. I
forget everything except I will kill him--'

'But you didn't?'

'No--I don't know--' and he laughed his queer, shaken laugh. 'The other
man that was with me, my friend, he came to me and we went away. Oh, I
was mad. I was completely mad. I would have killed them.'

He was trembling slightly, and his eyes were dilated with a strange
greyish-blue fire that was very painful and elemental. He looked beside
himself. But he was by no means mad.

We were shaken by the vivid, lambent excitement of the youth, we wished
him to forget. We were shocked, too, in our souls to see the pure
elemental flame shaken out of his gentle, sensitive nature. By his
slight, crinkled laugh we could see how much he had suffered. He had
gone out and faced the world, and he had kept his place, stranger and
Dago though he was.

'They never came after me no more, not all the while I was there.'

Then he said he became the foreman in the store--at first he was only
assistant. It was the best store in the town, and many English ladies
came, and some Germans. He liked the English ladies very much: they
always wanted him to be in the store. He wore white clothes there, and
they would say:

'You look very nice in the white coat, John'; or else:

'Let John come, he can find it'; or else they said:

'John speaks like a born American.'

This pleased him very much.

In the end, he said, he earned a hundred dollars a month. He lived with
the extraordinary frugality of the Italians, and had quite a lot
of money.

He was not like Il Duro. Faustino had lived in a state of miserliness
almost in America, but then he had had his debauches of shows and wine
and carousals. John went chiefly to the schools, in one of which he was
even asked to teach Italian. His knowledge of his own language was
remarkable and most unusual!

'But what,' I asked, 'brought you back?'

'It was my father. You see, if I did not come to have my military
service, I must stay till I am forty. So I think perhaps my father will
be dead, I shall never see him. So I came.'

He had come home when he was twenty to fulfil his military duties. At
home he had married. He was very fond of his wife, but he had no
conception of love in the old sense. His wife was like the past, to
which he was wedded. Out of her he begot his child, as out of the past.
But the future was all beyond her, apart from her. He was going away
again, now, to America. He had been some nine months at home after his
military service was over. He had no more to do. Now he was leaving his
wife and child and his father to go to America.

'But why,' I said, 'why? You are not poor, you can manage the shop in
your village.'

'Yes,' he said. 'But I will go to America. Perhaps I shall go into the
store again, the same.'

'But is it not just the same as managing the shop at home?'

'No--no--it is quite different.'

Then he told us how he bought goods in Brescia and in Said for the shop
at home, how he had rigged up a funicular with the assistance of the
village, an overhead wire by which you could haul the goods up the face
of the cliffs right high up, to within a mile of the village. He was
very proud of this. And sometimes he himself went down the funicular to
the water's edge, to the boat, when he was in a hurry. This also
pleased him.

But he was going to Brescia this day to see about going again to
America. Perhaps in another month he would be gone.

It was a great puzzle to me why he would go. He could not say himself.
He would stay four or five years, then he would come home again to see
his father--and his wife and child.

There was a strange, almost frightening destiny upon him, which seemed
to take him away, always away from home, from the past, to that great,
raw America. He seemed scarcely like a person with individual choice,
more like a creature under the influence of fate which was
disintegrating the old life and precipitating him, a fragment
inconclusive, into the new chaos.

He submitted to it all with a perfect unquestioning simplicity, never
even knowing that he suffered, that he must suffer disintegration from
the old life. He was moved entirely from within, he never questioned his
inevitable impulse.

'They say to me, "Don't go--don't go"--' he shook his head. 'But I say I
will go.'

And at that it was finished.

So we saw him off at the little quay, going down the lake. He would
return at evening, and be pulled up in his funicular basket. And in a
month's time he would be standing on the same lake steamer going
to America.

Nothing was more painful than to see him standing there in his degraded,
sordid American clothes, on the deck of the steamer, waving us good-bye,
belonging in his final desire to our world, the world of consciousness
and deliberate action. With his candid, open, unquestioning face, he
seemed like a prisoner being conveyed from one form of life to another,
or like a soul in trajectory, that has not yet found a resting-place.

What were wife and child to him?--they were the last steps of the past.
His father was the continent behind him; his wife and child the
foreshore of the past; but his face was set outwards, away from it
all--whither, neither he nor anybody knew, but he called it America.




_Italians in Exile_


When I was in Constance the weather was misty and enervating and
depressing, it was no pleasure to travel on the big flat desolate lake.

When I went from Constance, it was on a small steamer down the Rhine to
Schaffhausen. That was beautiful. Still, the mist hung over the waters,
over the wide shallows of the river, and the sun, coming through the
morning, made lovely yellow lights beneath the bluish haze, so that it
seemed like the beginning of the world. And there was a hawk in the
upper air fighting with two crows, or two rooks. Ever they rose higher
and higher, the crow flickering above the attacking hawk, the fight
going on like some strange symbol in the sky, the Germans on deck
watching with pleasure.

Then we passed out of sight between wooded banks and under bridges where
quaint villages of old romance piled their red and coloured pointed
roofs beside the water, very still, remote, lost in the vagueness of the
past. It could not be that they were real. Even when the boat put in to
shore, and the customs officials came to look, the village remained
remote in the romantic past of High Germany, the Germany of fairy tales
and minstrels and craftsmen. The poignancy of the past was almost
unbearable, floating there in colour upon the haze of the river.

We went by some swimmers, whose white shadowy bodies trembled near the
side of the steamer under water. One man with a round, fair head lifted
his face and one arm from the water and shouted a greeting to us, as if
he were a Niebelung, saluting with bright arm lifted from the water, his
face laughing, the fair moustache hanging over his mouth. Then his white
body swirled in the water, and he was gone, swimming with the
side stroke.

Schaffhausen the town, half old and bygone, half modern, with breweries
and industries, that is not very real. Schaffhausen Falls, with their
factory in the midst and their hotel at the bottom, and the general
cinematograph effect, they are ugly.

It was afternoon when I set out to walk from the Falls to Italy, across
Switzerland. I remember the big, fat, rather gloomy fields of this part
of Baden, damp and unliving. I remember I found some apples under a tree
in a field near a railway embankment, then some mushrooms, and I ate
both. Then I came on to a long, desolate high-road, with dreary,
withered trees on either side, and flanked by great fields where groups
of men and women were working. They looked at me as I went by down the
long, long road, alone and exposed and out of the world.

I remember nobody came at the border village to examine my pack, I
passed through unchallenged. All was quiet and lifeless and hopeless,
with big stretches of heavy land.

Till sunset came, very red and purple, and suddenly, from the heavy
spacious open land I dropped sharply into the Rhine valley again,
suddenly, as if into another glamorous world.

There was the river rushing along between its high, mysterious, romantic
banks, which were high as hills, and covered with vine. And there was
the village of tall, quaint houses flickering its lights on to the
deep-flowing river, and quite silent, save for the rushing of water.

There was a fine covered bridge, very dark. I went to the middle and
looked through the opening at the dark water below, at the façade of
square lights, the tall village-front towering remote and silent above
the river. The hill rose on either side the flood; down here was a
small, forgotten, wonderful world that belonged to the date of isolated
village communities and wandering minstrels.

So I went back to the inn of The Golden Stag, and, climbing some steps,
I made a loud noise. A woman came, and I asked for food. She led me
through a room where were enormous barrels, ten feet in diameter, lying
fatly on their sides; then through a large stone-clean kitchen, with
bright pans, ancient as the Meistersinger; then up some steps and into
the long guest-room, where a few tables were laid for supper.

A few people were eating. I asked for Abendessen, and sat by the window
looking at the darkness of the river below, the covered bridge, the dark
hill opposite, crested with its few lights.

Then I ate a very large quantity of knoedel soup and bread, and drank
beer, and was very sleepy. Only one or two village men came in, and
these soon went again; the place was dead still. Only at a long table on
the opposite side of the room were seated seven or eight men, ragged,
disreputable, some impudent--another came in late; the landlady gave
them all thick soup with dumplings and bread and meat, serving them in a
sort of brief disapprobation. They sat at the long table, eight or nine
tramps and beggars and wanderers out of work and they ate with a sort of
cheerful callousness and brutality for the most part, and as if
ravenously, looking round and grinning sometimes, subdued, cowed, like
prisoners, and yet impudent. At the end one shouted to know where he was
to sleep. The landlady called to the young serving-woman, and in a
classic German severity of disapprobation they were led up the stone
stairs to their room. They tramped off in threes and twos, making a bad,
mean, humiliated exit. It was not yet eight o'clock. The landlady sat
talking to one bearded man, staid and severe, whilst, with her work on
the table, she sewed steadily.

As the beggars and wanderers went slinking out of the room, some called
impudently, cheerfully:

'_Nacht, Frau Wirtin--G'Nacht, Wirtin--'te Nacht, Frau_,' to all of
which the hostess answered a stereotyped '_Gute Nacht_,' never turning
her head from her sewing, or indicating by the faintest movement that
she was addressing the men who were filing raggedly to the doorway.

So the room was empty, save for the landlady and her sewing, the staid,
elderly villager to whom she was talking in the unbeautiful dialect, and
the young serving-woman who was clearing away the plates and basins of
the tramps and beggars.

Then the villager also went.

'_Gute Nacht, Frau Seidl_,' to the landlady; '_Gute Nacht_,' at random,
to me.

So I looked at the newspaper. Then I asked the landlady for a cigarette,
not knowing how else to begin. So she came to my table, and we talked.

It pleased me to take upon myself a sort of romantic, wandering
character; she said my German was '_schön_'; a little goes a long way.

So I asked her who were the men who had sat at the long table. She
became rather stiff and curt.

'They are the men looking for work,' she said, as if the subject were
disagreeable.

'But why do they come here, so many?' I asked.

Then she told me that they were going out of the country: this was
almost the last village of the border: that the relieving officer in
each village was empowered to give to every vagrant a ticket entitling
the holder to an evening meal, bed, and bread in the morning, at a
certain inn. This was the inn for the vagrants coming to this village.
The landlady received fourpence per head, I believe it was, for each of
these wanderers.

'Little enough,' I said.

'Nothing,' she replied.

She did not like the subject at all. Only her respect for me made her
answer.

'_Bettler, Lumpen, und Taugenichtse!_' I said cheerfully.

'And men who are out of work, and are going back to their own parish,'
she said stiffly.

So we talked a little, and I too went to bed.

'_Gute Nacht, Frau Wirtin._'

'_Gute Nacht, mein Herr._'

So I went up more and more stone stairs, attended by the young woman. It
was a great, lofty, old deserted house, with many drab doors.

At last, in the distant topmost floor, I had my bedroom, with two beds
and bare floor and scant furniture. I looked down at the river far
below, at the covered bridge, at the far lights on the hill above,
opposite. Strange to be here in this lost, forgotten place, sleeping
under the roof with tramps and beggars. I debated whether they would
steal my boots if I put them out. But I risked it. The door-latch made a
loud noise on the deserted landing, everywhere felt abandoned,
forgotten. I wondered where the eight tramps and beggars were asleep.
There was no way of securing the door. But somehow I felt that, if I
were destined to be robbed or murdered, it would not be by tramps and
beggars. So I blew out the candle and lay under the big feather bed,
listening to the running and whispering of the medieval Rhine.

And when I waked up again it was sunny, it was morning on the hill
opposite, though the river deep below ran in shadow.

The tramps and beggars were all gone: they must be cleared out by seven
o'clock in the morning. So I had the inn to myself, I, and the landlady,
and the serving-woman. Everywhere was very clean, full of the German
morning energy and brightness, which is so different from the Latin
morning. The Italians are dead and torpid first thing, the Germans are
energetic and cheerful.

It was cheerful in the sunny morning, looking down on the swift river,
the covered, picturesque bridge, the bank and the hill opposite. Then
down the curving road of the facing hill the Swiss cavalry came riding,
men in blue uniforms. I went out to watch them. They came thundering
romantically through the dark cavern of the roofed-in bridge, and they
dismounted at the entrance to the village. There was a fresh
morning-cheerful newness everywhere, in the arrival of the troops, in
the welcome of the villagers.

The Swiss do not look very military, neither in accoutrement nor
bearing. This little squad of cavalry seemed more like a party of common
men riding out in some business of their own than like an army. They
were very republican and very free. The officer who commanded them was
one of themselves, his authority was by consent.

It was all very pleasant and genuine; there was a sense of ease and
peacefulness, quite different from the mechanical, slightly sullen
manoeuvring of the Germans.

The village baker and his assistant came hot and floury from the
bakehouse, bearing between them a great basket of fresh bread. The
cavalry were all dismounted by the bridge-head, eating and drinking like
business men. Villagers came to greet their friends: one soldier kissed
his father, who came wearing a leathern apron. The school bell
tang-tang-tanged from above, school children merged timidly through the
grouped horses, up the narrow street, passing unwillingly with their
books. The river ran swiftly, the soldiers, very haphazard and slack in
uniform, real shack-bags, chewed their bread in large mouthfuls; the
young lieutenant, who seemed to be an officer only by consent of the
men, stood apart by the bridge-head, gravely. They were all serious and
self-contented, very unglamorous. It was like a business excursion on
horseback, harmless and uninspiring. The uniforms were almost ludicrous,
so ill-fitting and casual.

So I shouldered my own pack and set off, through the bridge over the
Rhine, and up the hill opposite.

There is something very dead about this country. I remember I picked
apples from the grass by the roadside, and some were very sweet. But for
the rest, there was mile after mile of dead, uninspired
country--uninspired, so neutral and ordinary that it was almost
destructive.

One gets this feeling always in Switzerland, except high up: this
feeling of average, of utter soulless ordinariness, something
intolerable. Mile after mile, to Zurich, it was just the same. It was
just the same in the tram-car going into Zurich; it was just the same in
the town, in the shops, in the restaurant. All was the utmost level of
ordinariness and well-being, but so ordinary that it was like a blight.
All the picturesqueness of the town is nothing, it is like a most
ordinary, average, usual person in an old costume. The place was
soul-killing.

So after two hours' rest, eating in a restaurant, wandering by the quay
and through the market, and sitting on a seat by the lake, I found a
steamer that would take me away. That is how I always feel in
Switzerland: the only possible living sensation is the sensation of
relief in going away, always going away. The horrible average
ordinariness of it all, something utterly without flower or soul or
transcendence, the horrible vigorous ordinariness, is too much.

So I went on a steamer down the long lake, surrounded by low grey hills.
It was Saturday afternoon. A thin rain came on. I thought I would rather
be in fiery Hell than in this dead level of average life.

I landed somewhere on the right bank, about three-quarters of the way
down the lake. It was almost dark. Yet I must walk away. I climbed a
long hill from the lake, came to the crest, looked down the darkness of
the valley, and descended into the deep gloom, down into a
soulless village.

But it was eight o'clock, and I had had enough. One might as well sleep.
I found the Gasthaus zur Post.

It was a small, very rough inn, having only one common room, with bare
tables, and a short, stout, grim, rather surly landlady, and a landlord
whose hair stood up on end, and who was trembling on the edge of
delirium tremens.

They could only give me boiled ham: so I ate boiled ham and drank beer,
and tried to digest the utter cold materialism of Switzerland.

As I sat with my back to the wall, staring blankly at the trembling
landlord, who was ready at any moment to foam at the mouth, and at the
dour landlady, who was quite capable of keeping him in order, there came
in one of those dark, showy Italian girls with a man. She wore a blouse
and skirt, and no hat. Her hair was perfectly dressed. It was really
Italy. The man was soft, dark, he would get stout later, _trapu_, he
would have somewhat the figure of Caruso. But as yet he was soft,
sensuous, young, handsome.

They sat at the long side-table with their beer, and created another
country at once within the room. Another Italian came, fair and fat and
slow, one from the Venetian province; then another, a little thin young
man, who might have been a Swiss save for his vivid movement.

This last was the first to speak to the Germans. The others had just
said '_Bier._' But the little newcomer entered into a conversation with
the landlady.

At last there were six Italians sitting talking loudly and warmly at the
side-table. The slow, cold German-Swiss at the other tables looked at
them occasionally. The landlord, with his crazed, stretched eyes, glared
at them with hatred. But they fetched their beer from the bar with easy
familiarity, and sat at their table, creating a bonfire of life in the
callousness of the inn.

At last they finished their beer and trooped off down the passage. The
room was painfully empty. I did not know what to do.

Then I heard the landlord yelling and screeching and snarling from the
kitchen at the back, for all the world like a mad dog. But the Swiss
Saturday evening customers at the other tables smoked on and talked in
their ugly dialect, without trouble. Then the landlady came in, and soon
after the landlord, he collarless, with his waistcoat unbuttoned,
showing his loose throat, and accentuating his round pot-belly. His
limbs were thin and feverish, the skin of his face hung loose, his eyes
glaring, his hands trembled. Then he sat down to talk to a crony. His
terrible appearance was a fiasco; nobody heeded him at all, only the
landlady was surly.

From the back came loud noises of pleasure and excitement and banging
about. When the room door was opened I could see down the dark passage
opposite another lighted door. Then the fat, fair Italian came in for
more beer.

'What is all the noise?' I asked the landlady at last.

'It is the Italians,' she said.

'What are they doing?'

'They are doing a play.'

'Where?'

She jerked her head: 'In the room at the back.'

'Can I go and look at them?'

'I should think so.'

The landlord glaringly watched me go out. I went down the stone passage
and found a great, half-lighted room that might be used to hold
meetings, with forms piled at the side. At one end was raised platform
or stage. And on this stage was a table and a lamp, and the Italians
grouped round the light, gesticulating and laughing. Their beer mugs
were on the table and on the floor of the stage; the little sharp youth
was intently looking over some papers, the others were bending over the
table with him.

They looked up as I entered from the distance, looked at me in the
distant twilight of the dusky room, as if I were an intruder, as if I
should go away when I had seen them. But I said in German:

'May I look?'

They were still unwilling to see or to hear me.

'What do you say?' the small one asked in reply.

The others stood and watched, slightly at bay, like suspicious animals.

'If I might come and look,' I said in German; then, feeling very
uncomfortable, in Italian: 'You are doing a drama, the landlady
told me.'

The big empty room was behind me, dark, the little company of Italians
stood above me in the light of the lamp which was on the table. They all
watched with unseeing, unwilling looks: I was merely an intrusion.

'We are only learning it,' said the small youth.

They wanted me to go away. But I wanted to stay.

'May I listen?' I said. 'I don't want to stay in there.' And I
indicated, with a movement of the head, the inn-room beyond.

'Yes,' said the young intelligent man. 'But we are only reading our
parts.'

They had all become more friendly to me, they accepted me.

'You are a German?' asked one youth.

'No--English.'

'English? But do you live in Switzerland?'

'No--I am walking to Italy.'

'On foot?'

They looked with wakened eyes.

'Yes.'

So I told them about my journey. They were puzzled. They did not quite
understand why I wanted to walk. But they were delighted with the idea
of going to Lugano and Como and then to Milan.

'Where do you come from?' I asked them.

They were all from the villages between Verona and Venice. They had seen
the Garda. I told them of my living there.

'Those peasants of the mountains,' they said at once, 'they are people
of little education. Rather wild folk.'

And they spoke with good-humoured contempt.

I thought of Paolo, and Il Duro, and the Signor Pietro, our padrone, and
I resented these factory-hands for criticizing them.

So I sat on the edge of the stage whilst they rehearsed their parts. The
little thin intelligent fellow, Giuseppino, was the leader. The others
read their parts in the laborious, disjointed fashion of the peasant,
who can only see one word at a time, and has then to put the words
together, afterwards, to make sense. The play was an amateur melodrama,
printed in little penny booklets, for carnival production. This was only
the second reading they had given it, and the handsome, dark fellow, who
was roused and displaying himself before the girl, a hard, erect piece
of callousness, laughed and flushed and stumbled, and understood nothing
till it was transferred into him direct through Giuseppino. The fat,
fair, slow man was more conscientious. He laboured through his part. The
other two men were in the background more or less.

The most confidential was the fat, fair, slow man, who was called
Alberto. His part was not very important, so he could sit by me and
talk to me.

He said they were all workers in the factory--silk, I think it was--in
the village. They were a whole colony of Italians, thirty or more
families. They had all come at different times.

Giuseppino had been longest in the village. He had come when he was
eleven, with his parents, and had attended the Swiss school. So he spoke
perfect German. He was a clever man, was married, and had two children.

He himself, Alberto, had been seven years in the valley; the girl, la
Maddelena, had been here ten years; the dark man, Alfredo, who was
flushed with excitement of her, had been in the village about nine
years--he alone of all men was not married.

The others had all married Italian wives, and they lived in the great
dwelling whose windows shone yellow by the rattling factory. They lived
entirely among themselves; none of them could speak German, more than a
few words, except the Giuseppino, who was like a native here.

It was very strange being among these Italians exiled in Switzerland.
Alfredo, the dark one, the unmarried, was in the old tradition. Yet even
he was curiously subject to a new purpose, as if there were some greater
new will that included him, sensuous, mindless as he was. He seemed to
give his consent to something beyond himself. In this he was different
from Il Duro, in that he had put himself under the control of the
outside conception.

It was strange to watch them on the stage, the Italians all lambent,
soft, warm, sensuous, yet moving subject round Giuseppino, who was
always quiet, always ready, always impersonal. There was a look of
purpose, almost of devotion on his face, that singled him out and made
him seem the one stable, eternal being among them. They quarrelled, and
he let them quarrel up to a certain point; then he called them back. He
let them do as they liked so long as they adhered more or less to the
central purpose, so long as they got on in some measure with the play.

All the while they were drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. The
Alberto was barman: he went out continually with the glasses. The
Maddelena had a small glass. In the lamplight of the stage the little
party read and smoked and practised, exposed to the empty darkness of
the big room. Queer and isolated it seemed, a tiny, pathetic magicland
far away from the barrenness of Switzerland. I could believe in the old
fairy-tales where, when the rock was opened, a magic underworld
was revealed.

The Alfredo, flushed, roused, handsome, but very soft and enveloping in
his heat, laughed and threw himself into his pose, laughed foolishly,
and then gave himself up to his part. The Alberto, slow and laborious,
yet with a spark of vividness and natural intensity flashing through,
replied and gesticulated; the Maddelena laid her head on the bosom of
Alfredo, the other men started into action, and the play proceeded
intently for half an hour.

Quick, vivid, and sharp, the little Giuseppino was always central. But
he seemed almost invisible. When I think back, I can scarcely see him, I
can only see the others, the lamplight on their faces and on their full
gesticulating limbs. I can see--the Maddelena, rather coarse and hard
and repellent, declaiming her words in a loud, half-cynical voice,
falling on the breast of the Alfredo, who was soft and sensuous, more
like a female, flushing, with his mouth getting wet, his eyes moist, as
he was roused. I can see the Alberto, slow, laboured, yet with a kind of
pristine simplicity in all his movements, that touched his fat
commonplaceness with beauty. Then there were the two other men, shy,
inflammable, unintelligent, with their sudden Italian rushes of hot
feeling. All their faces are distinct in the lamplight, all their bodies
ate palpable and dramatic.

But the face of the Giuseppino is like a pale luminousness, a sort of
gleam among all the ruddy glow, his body is evanescent, like a shadow.
And his being seemed to cast its influence over all the others, except
perhaps the woman, who was hard and resistant. The other men seemed all
overcast, mitigated, in part transfigured by the will of the little
leader. But they were very soft stuff, if inflammable.

The young woman of the inn, niece of the landlady, came down and called
out across the room.

'We will go away from here now,' said the Giuseppino to me. 'They close
at eleven. But we have another inn in the next parish that is open all
night. Come with us and drink some wine.'

'But,' I said, 'you would rather be alone.'

No; they pressed me to go, they wanted me to go with them, they were
eager, they wanted to entertain me. Alfredo, flushed, wet-mouthed, warm,
protested I must drink wine, the real Italian red wine, from their own
village at home. They would have no nay.

So I told the landlady. She said I must be back by twelve o'clock.

The night was very dark. Below the road the stream was rushing; there
was a great factory on the other side of the water, making faint
quivering lights of reflection, and one could see the working of
machinery shadowy through the lighted windows. Near by was the tall
tenement where the Italians lived.

We went on through the straggling, raw village, deep beside the stream,
then over the small bridge, and up the steep hill down which I had come
earlier in the evening.

So we arrived at the café. It was so different inside from the German
inn, yet it was not like an Italian café either. It was brilliantly
lighted, clean, new, and there were red-and-white cloths on the tables.
The host was in the room, and his daughter, a beautiful red-haired girl.

Greetings were exchanged with the quick, intimate directness of Italy.
But there was another note also, a faint echo of reserve, as though they
reserved themselves from the outer world, making a special inner
community.

Alfredo was hot: he took off his coat. We all sat freely at a long
table, whilst the red-haired girl brought a quart of red wine. At other
tables men were playing cards, with the odd Neapolitan cards. They too
were talking Italian. It was a warm, ruddy bit of Italy within the cold
darkness of Switzerland.

'When you come to Italy,' they said to me, 'salute it from us, salute
the sun, and the earth, _l'Italia_.'

So we drank in salute of Italy. They sent their greeting by me.

'You know in Italy there is the sun, the sun,' said Alfredo to me,
profoundly moved, wet-mouthed, tipsy.

I was reminded of Enrico Persevalli and his terrifying cry at the end of
_Ghosts_:

'_Il sole, il sole!_'

So we talked for a while of Italy. They had a pained tenderness for it,
sad, reserved.

'Don't you want to go back?' I said, pressing them to tell me
definitely. 'Won't you go back some time?'

'Yes,' they said, 'we will go back.'

But they spoke reservedly, without freedom. We talked about Italy, about
songs, and Carnival; about the food, polenta, and salt. They laughed at
my pretending to cut the slabs of polenta with a string: that rejoiced
them all: it took them back to the Italian mezzo-giorno, the bells
jangling in the campanile, the eating after the heavy work on the land.

But they laughed with the slight pain and contempt and fondness which
every man feels towards his past, when he has struggled away from that
past, from the conditions which made it.

They loved Italy passionately; but they would not go back. All their
blood, all their senses were Italian, needed the Italian sky, the
speech, the sensuous life. They could hardly live except through the
senses. Their minds were not developed, mentally they were children,
lovable, naïve, almost fragile children. But sensually they were men:
sensually they were accomplished.

Yet a new tiny flower was struggling to open in them, the flower of a
new spirit. The substratum of Italy has always been pagan, sensuous, the
most potent symbol the sexual symbol. The child is really a
non-Christian symbol: it is the symbol of mans's triumph of eternal life
in procreation. The worship of the Cross never really held good in
Italy. The Christianity of Northern Europe has never had any
place there.

And now, when Northern Europe is turning back on its own Christianity,
denying it all, the Italians are struggling with might and main against
the sensuous spirit which still dominates them. When Northern Europe,
whether it hates Nietzsche or not, is crying out for the Dionysic
ecstasy, practising on itself the Dionysic ecstasy, Southern Europe is
breaking free from Dionysus, from the triumphal affirmation of life over
death, immortality through procreation.

I could see these sons of Italy would never go back. Men like Paolo and
Il Duro broke away only to return. The dominance of the old form was too
strong for them. Call it love of country or love of the village,
campanilismo, or what not, it was the dominance of the old pagan form,
the old affirmation of immortality through procreation, as opposed to
the Christian affirmation of immortality through self-death and
social love.

But 'John' and these Italians in Switzerland were a generation younger,
and they would not go back, at least not to the old Italy. Suffer as
they might, and they did suffer, wincing in every nerve and fibre from
the cold material insentience of the northern countries and of America,
still they would endure this for the sake of something else they wanted.
They would suffer a death in the flesh, as 'John' had suffered in
fighting the street crowd, as these men suffered year after year cramped
in their black gloomy cold Swiss valley, working in the factory. But
there would come a new spirit out of it.

Even Alfredo was submitted to the new process; though he belonged
entirely by nature to the sort of Il Duro, he was purely sensuous and
mindless. But under the influence of Giuseppino he was thrown down, as
fallow to the new spirit that would come.

And then, when the others were all partially tipsy, the Giuseppino began
to talk to me. In him was a steady flame burning, burning, burning, a
flame of the mind, of the spirit, something new and clear, something
that held even the soft, sensuous Alfredo in submission, besides all the
others, who had some little development of mind.

'_Sa signore_,' said the Giuseppino to me, quiet, almost invisible or
inaudible, as it seemed, like a spirit addressing me, '_l'uomo non ha
patria_--a man has no country. What has the Italian Government to do
with us. What does a Government mean? It makes us work, it takes part of
our wages away from us, it makes us soldiers--and what for? What is
government for?'

'Have you been a soldier?' I interrupted him.

He had not, none of them had: that was why they could not really go back
to Italy. Now this was out; this explained partly their curious
reservation in speaking about their beloved country. They had forfeited
parents as well as homeland.

'What does the Government do? It takes taxes; it has an army and police,
and it makes roads. But we could do without an army, and we could be our
own police, and we could make our own roads. What is this Government?
Who wants it? Only those who are unjust, and want to have advantage over
somebody else. It is an instrument of injustice and of wrong.

'Why should we have a Government? Here, in this village, there are
thirty families of Italians. There is no government for them, no Italian
Government. And we live together better than in Italy. We are richer and
freer, we have no policemen, no poor laws. We help each other, and there
are no poor.

'Why are these Governments always doing what we don't want them to do?
We should not be fighting in the Cirenaica if we were all Italians. It
is the Government that does it. They talk and talk and do things with
us: but we don't want them.'

The others, tipsy, sat round the table with the terrified gravity of
children who are somehow responsible for things they do not understand.
They stirred in their seats, turning aside, with gestures almost of
pain, of imprisonment. Only Alfredo, laying his hand on mine, was
laughing, loosely, floridly. He would upset all the Government with a
jerk of his well-built shoulder, and then he would have a spree--such a
spree. He laughed wetly to me.

The Giuseppino waited patiently during this tipsy confidence, but his
pale clarity and beauty was something constant star-like in comparison
with the flushed, soft handsomeness of the other. He waited patiently,
looking at me.

But I did not want him to go on: I did not want to answer. I could feel
a new spirit in him, something strange and pure and slightly
frightening. He wanted something which was beyond me. And my soul was
somewhere in tears, crying helplessly like an infant in the night. I
could not respond: I could not answer. He seemed to look at me, me, an
Englishman, an educated man, for corroboration. But I could not
corroborate him. I knew the purity and new struggling towards birth of a
true star-like spirit. But I could not confirm him in his utterance: my
soul could not respond. I did not believe in the perfectibility of man.
I did not believe in infinite harmony among men. And this was his star,
this belief.

It was nearly midnight. A Swiss came in and asked for beer. The Italians
gathered round them a curious darkness of reserve. And then I must go.

They shook hands with me warmly, truthfully, putting a sort of implicit
belief in me, as representative of some further knowledge. But there was
a fixed, calm resolve over the face of the Giuseppino, a sort of steady
faith, even in disappointment. He gave me a copy of a little Anarchist
paper published in Geneva. _L'Anarchista_, I believe it was called. I
glanced at it. It was in Italian, naïve, simple, rather rhetorical. So
they were all Anarchists, these Italians.

I ran down the hill in the thick Swiss darkness to the little bridge,
and along the uneven cobbled street. I did not want to think, I did not
want to know. I wanted to arrest my activity, to keep it confined to the
moment, to the adventure.

When I came to the flight of stone steps which led up to the door of the
inn, at the side I saw in the darkness two figures. They said a low good
night and parted; the girl began to knock at the door, the man
disappeared. It was the niece of the landlady parting from her lover.

We waited outside the locked door, at the top of the stone steps, in the
darkness of midnight. The stream rustled below. Then came a shouting and
an insane snarling within the passage; the bolts were not withdrawn.

'It is the gentleman, it is the strange gentleman,' called the girl.

Then came again the furious shouting snarls, and the landlord's mad
voice:

'Stop out, stop out there. The door won't be opened again.'

'The strange gentleman is here,' repeated the girl.

Then more movement was heard, and the door was suddenly opened, and the
landlord rushed out upon us, wielding a broom. It was a strange sight,
in the half-lighted passage. I stared blankly in the doorway. The
landlord dropped the broom he was waving and collapsed as if by magic,
looking at me, though he continued to mutter madly, unintelligibly. The
girl slipped past me, and the landlord snarled. Then he picked up the
brush, at the same time crying:

'You are late, the door was shut, it will not be opened. We shall have
the police in the house. We said twelve o'clock; at twelve o'clock the
door must be shut, and must not be opened again. If you are late you
stay out--'

So he went snarling, his voice rising higher and higher, away into the
kitchen.

'You are coming to your room?' the landlady said to me coldly. And she
led me upstairs.

The room was over the road, clean, but rather ugly, with a large tin,
that had once contained lard or Swiss-milk, to wash in. But the bed was
good enough, which was all that mattered.

I heard the landlord yelling, and there was a long and systematic
thumping somewhere, thump, thump, thump, and banging. I wondered where
it was. I could not locate it at all, because my room lay beyond another
large room: I had to go through a large room, by the foot of two beds,
to get to my door; so I could not quite tell where anything was.

But I went to sleep whilst I was wondering.

I woke in the morning and washed in the tin. I could see a few people in
the street, walking in the Sunday morning leisure. It felt like Sunday
in England, and I shrank from it. I could see none of the Italians. The
factory stood there, raw and large and sombre, by the stream, and the
drab-coloured stone tenements were close by. Otherwise the village was a
straggling Swiss street, almost untouched.

The landlord was quiet and reasonable, even friendly, in the morning. He
wanted to talk to me: where had I bought my boots, was his first
question. I told him in Munich. And how much had they cost? I told him
twenty-eight marks. He was much impressed by them: such good boots, of
such soft, strong, beautiful leather; he had not seen such boots for a
long time.

Then I knew it was he who had cleaned my boots. I could see him
fingering them and wondering over them. I rather liked him. I could see
he had had imagination once, and a certain fineness of nature. Now he
was corrupted with drink, too far gone to be even a human being. I hated
the village.

They set bread and butter and a piece of cheese weighing about five
pounds, and large, fresh, sweet cakes for breakfast. I ate and was
thankful: the food was good.

A couple of village youths came in, in their Sunday clothes. They had
the Sunday stiffness. It reminded me of the stiffness and curious
self-consciousness that comes over life in England on a Sunday. But the
Landlord sat with his waistcoat hanging open over his shirt,
pot-bellied, his ruined face leaning forward, talking, always talking,
wanting to know.

So in a few minutes I was out on the road again, thanking God for the
blessing of a road that belongs to no man, and travels away from
all men.

I did not want to see the Italians. Something had got tied up in me, and
I could not bear to see them again. I liked them so much; but, for some
reason or other, my mind stopped like clockwork if I wanted to think of
them and of what their lives would be, their future. It was as if some
curious negative magnetism arrested my mind, prevented it from working,
the moment I turned it towards these Italians.

I do not know why it was. But I could never write to them, or think of
them, or even read the paper they gave me though it lay in my drawer for
months, in Italy, and I often glanced over six lines of it. And often,
often my mind went back to the group, the play they were rehearsing, the
wine in the pleasant café, and the night. But the moment my memory
touched them, my whole soul stopped and was null; I could not go on.
Even now I cannot really consider them in thought.

I shrink involuntarily away. I do not know why this is.




_The Return Journey_


When one walks, one must travel west or south. If one turns northward or
eastward it is like walking down a cul-de-sac, to the blind end.

So it has been since the Crusaders came home satiated, and the
Renaissance saw the western sky as an archway into the future. So it is
still. We must go westwards and southwards.

It is a sad and gloomy thing to travel even from Italy into France. But
it is a joyful thing to walk south to Italy, south and west. It is so.
And there is a certain exaltation in the thought of going west, even to
Cornwall, to Ireland. It is as if the magnetic poles were south-west and
north-east, for our spirits, with the south-west, under the sunset, as
the positive pole. So whilst I walk through Switzerland, though it is a
valley of gloom and depression, a light seems to flash out under every
footstep, with the joy of progression.

It was Sunday morning when I left the valley where the Italians lived. I
went quickly over the stream, heading for Lucerne. It was a good thing
to be out of doors, with one's pack on one's back, climbing uphill. But
the trees were thick by the roadside; I was not yet free. It was Sunday
morning, very still.

In two hours I was at the top of the hill, looking out over the
intervening valley at the long lake of Zurich, spread there beyond with
its girdle of low hills, like a relief-map. I could not bear to look at
it, it was so small and unreal. I had a feeling as if it were false, a
large relief-map that I was looking down upon, and which I wanted to
smash. It seemed to intervene between me and some reality. I could not
believe that that was the real world. It was a figment, a fabrication,
like a dull landscape painted on a wall, to hide the real landscape.

So I went on, over to the other side of the hill, and I looked out
again. Again there were the smoky-looking hills and the lake like a
piece of looking-glass. But the hills were higher: that big one was the
Rigi. I set off down the hill.

There was fat agricultural land and several villages. And church was
over. The churchgoers were all coming home: men in black broadcloth and
old chimney-pot silk hats, carrying their umbrellas; women in ugly
dresses, carrying books and umbrellas. The streets were dotted with
these black-clothed men and stiff women, all reduced to a Sunday
nullity. I hated it. It reminded me of that which I knew in my boyhood,
that stiff, null 'propriety' which used to come over us, like a sort of
deliberate and self-inflicted cramp, on Sundays. I hated these elders in
black broadcloth, with their neutral faces, going home piously to their
Sunday dinners. I hated the feeling of these villages, comfortable,
well-to-do, clean, and proper.

And my boot was chafing two of my toes. That always happens. I had come
down to a wide, shallow valley-bed, marshy. So about a mile out of the
village I sat down by a stone bridge, by a stream, and tore up my
handkerchief, and bound up the toes. And as I sat binding my toes, two
of the elders in black, with umbrellas under their arms, approached from
the direction of the village.

They made me so furious, I had to hasten to fasten my boot, to hurry on
again, before they should come near me. I could not bear the way they
walked and talked, so crambling and material and mealy-mouthed.

Then it did actually begin to rain. I was just going down a short hill.
So I sat under a bush and watched the trees drip. I was so glad to be
there, homeless, without place or belonging, crouching under the leaves
in the copse by the road, that I felt I had, like the meek, inherited
the earth. Some men went by, with their coat-collars turned up, and the
rain making still blacker their black broadcloth shoulders. They did not
see me. I was as safe and separate as a ghost. So I ate the remains of
my food that I had bought in Zurich, and waited for the rain.

Later, in the wet Sunday afternoon, I went on to the little lake, past
many inert, neutral, material people, down an ugly road where trams ran.
The blight of Sunday was almost intolerable near the town.

So on I went, by the side of the steamy, reedy lake, walking the length
of it. Then suddenly I went in to a little villa by the water for tea.
In Switzerland every house is a villa.

But this villa, was kept by two old ladies and a delicate dog, who must
not get his feet wet. I was very happy there. I had good jam and strange
honey-cakes for tea, that I liked, and the little old ladies pattered
round in a great stir, always whirling like two dry leaves after the
restless dog.

'Why must he not go out?' I said.

'Because it is wet,' they answered, 'and he coughs and sneezes.'

'Without a handkerchief, that is not _angenehm_' I said.

So we became bosom friends.

'You are Austrian?' they said to me.

I said I was from Graz; that my father was a doctor in Graz, and that I
was walking for my pleasure through the countries of Europe.

I said this because I knew a doctor from Graz who was always wandering
about, and because I did not want to be myself, an Englishman, to these
two old ladies. I wanted to be something else. So we exchanged
confidences.

They told me, in their queer, old, toothless fashion, about their
visitors, a man who used to fish all day, every day for three weeks,
fish every hour of the day, though many a day he caught nothing--nothing
at all--still he fished from the boat; and so on, such trivialities.
Then they told me of a third sister who had died, a third little old
lady. One could feel the gap in the house. They cried; and I, being an
Austrian from Graz, to my astonishment felt my tears slip over on to the
table. I also _was_ sorry, and I would have kissed the little old ladies
to comfort them.

'Only in heaven it is warm, and it doesn't rain, and no one dies,' I
said, looking at the wet leaves.

Then I went away. I would have stayed the night at this house: I wanted
to. But I had developed my Austrian character too far.

So I went on to a detestable brutal inn in the town. And the next day I
climbed over the back of the detestable Rigi, with its vile hotel, to
come to Lucerne. There, on the Rigi, I met a lost young Frenchman who
could speak no German, and who said he could not find people to speak
French. So we sat on a stone and became close friends, and I promised
faithfully to go and visit him in his barracks in Algiers: I was to sail
from Naples to Algiers. He wrote me the address on his card, and told me
he had friends in the regiment, to whom I should be introduced, and we
could have a good time, if I would stay a week or two, down there
in Algiers.

How much more real Algiers was than the rock on the Rigi where we sat,
or the lake beneath, or the mountains beyond. Algiers is very real,
though I have never seen it, and my friend is my friend for ever, though
I have lost his card and forgotten his name. He was a Government clerk
from Lyons, making this his first foreign tour before he began his
military service. He showed me his 'circular excursion ticket'. Then at
last we parted, for he must get to the top of the Rigi, and I must get
to the bottom.

Lucerne and its lake were as irritating as ever--like the wrapper round
milk chocolate. I could not sleep even one night there: I took the
steamer down the lake, to the very last station. There I found a good
German inn, and was happy.

There was a tall thin young man, whose face was red and inflamed from
the sun. I thought he was a German tourist. He had just come in; and he
was eating bread and milk. He and I were alone in the eating-room. He
was looking at an illustrated paper.

'Does the steamer stop here all night?' I asked him in German, hearing
the boat bustling and blowing her steam on the water outside, and
glancing round at her lights, red and white, in the pitch darkness.

He only shook his head over his bread and milk, and did not lift his
face.

'Are you English, then?' I said.

No one but an Englishman would have hidden his face in a bowl of milk,
and have shaken his red ears in such painful confusion.

'Yes,' he said, 'I am.'

And I started almost out of my skin at the unexpected London accent. It
was as if one suddenly found oneself in the Tube.

'So am I,' I said. 'Where have you come from?'

Then he began, like a general explaining his plans, to tell me. He had
walked round over the Furka Pass, had been on foot four or five days. He
had walked tremendously. Knowing no German, and nothing of the
mountains, he had set off alone on this tour: he had a fortnight's
holiday. So he had come over the Rhône Glacier across the Furka and down
from Andermatt to the Lake. On this last day he had walked about thirty
mountain miles.

'But weren't you tired?' I said, aghast.

He was. Under the inflamed redness of his sun- and wind- and snow-burned
face he was sick with fatigue. He had done over a hundred miles in the
last four days.

'Did you enjoy it?' I asked.

'Oh yes. I wanted to do it all.' He wanted to do it, and he _had_ done
it. But God knows what he wanted to do it for. He had now one day at
Lucerne, one day at Interlaken and Berne, then London.

I was sorry for him in my soul, he was so cruelly tired, so perishingly
victorious.

'Why did you do so much?' I said. 'Why did you come on foot all down the
valley when you could have taken the train? Was it worth it?'

'I think so,' he said.

Yet he was sick with fatigue and over-exhaustion. His eyes were quite
dark, sightless: he seemed to have lost the power of seeing, to be
virtually blind. He hung his head forward when he had to write a post
card, as if he felt his way. But he turned his post card so that I
should not see to whom it was addressed; not that I was interested; only
I noticed his little, cautious, English movement of privacy.

'What time will you be going on?' I asked.

'When is the first steamer?' he said, and he turned out a guide-book
with a time-table. He would leave at about seven.

'But why so early?' I said to him.

He must be in Lucerne at a certain hour, and at Interlaken in the
evening.

'I suppose you will rest when you get to London?' I said.

He looked at me quickly, reservedly.

I was drinking beer: I asked him wouldn't he have something. He thought
a moment, then said he would have another glass of hot milk. The
landlord came--'And bread?' he asked.

The Englishman refused. He could not eat, really. Also he was poor; he
had to husband his money. The landlord brought the milk and asked me,
when would the gentleman want to go away. So I made arrangements between
the landlord and the stranger. But the Englishman was slightly
uncomfortable at my intervention. He did not like me to know what he
would have for breakfast.

I could feel so well the machine that had him in its grip. He slaved for
a year, mechanically, in London, riding in the Tube, working in the
office. Then for a fortnight he was let free. So he rushed to
Switzerland, with a tour planned out, and with just enough money to see
him through, and to buy presents at Interlaken: bits of the edelweiss
pottery: I could see him going home with them.

So he arrived, and with amazing, pathetic courage set forth on foot in a
strange land, to face strange landlords, with no language but English at
his command, and his purse definitely limited. Yet he wanted to go among
the mountains, to cross a glacier. So he had walked on and on, like one
possessed, ever forward. His name might have been Excelsior, indeed.

But then, when he reached his Furka, only to walk along the ridge and to
descend on the same side! My God, it was killing to the soul. And here
he was, down again from the mountains, beginning his journey home again:
steamer and train and steamer and train and Tube, till he was back in
the machine.

It hadn't let him go, and he knew it. Hence his cruel self-torture of
fatigue, his cruel exercise of courage. He who hung his head in his milk
in torment when I asked him a question in German, what courage had he
not needed to take this his very first trip out of England, alone,
on foot!

His eyes were dark and deep with unfathomable courage. Yet he was going
back in the morning. He was going back. All he had courage for was to go
back. He would go back, though he died by inches. Why not? It was
killing him, it was like living loaded with irons. But he had the
courage to submit, to die that way, since it was the way allotted
to him.

The way he sank on the table in exhaustion, drinking his milk, his will,
nevertheless, so perfect and unblemished, triumphant, though his body
was broken and in anguish, was almost too much to bear. My heart was
wrung for my countryman, wrung till it bled.

I could not bear to understand my countryman, a man who worked for his
living, as I had worked, as nearly all my countrymen work. He would not
give in. On his holiday he would walk, to fulfil his purpose, walk on;
no matter how cruel the effort were, he would not rest, he would not
relinquish his purpose nor abate his will, not by one jot or tittle. His
body must pay whatever his will demanded, though it were torture.

It all seemed to me so foolish. I was almost in tears. He went to bed. I
walked by the dark lake, and talked to the girl in the inn. She was a
pleasant girl: it was a pleasant inn, a homely place. One could be
happy there.

In the morning it was sunny, the lake was blue. By night I should be
nearly at the crest of my journey. I was glad.

The Englishman had gone. I looked for his name in the book. It was
written in a fair, clerkly hand. He lived at Streatham. Suddenly I hated
him. The dogged fool, to keep his nose on the grindstone like that. What
was all his courage but the very tip-top of cowardice? What a vile
nature--almost Sadish, proud, like the infamous Red Indians, of being
able to stand torture.

The landlord came to talk to me. He was fat and comfortable and too
respectful. But I had to tell him all the Englishman had done, in the
way of a holiday, just to shame his own fat, ponderous, inn-keeper's
luxuriousness that was too gross. Then all I got out of his enormous
comfortableness was:

'Yes, that's a _very_ long step to take.'

So I set off myself, up the valley between the close, snow-topped
mountains, whose white gleamed above me as I crawled, small as an
insect, along the dark, cold valley below.

There had been a cattle fair earlier in the morning, so troops of cattle
were roving down the road, some with bells tang-tanging, all with soft
faces and startled eyes and a sudden swerving of horns. The grass was
very green by the roads and by the streams; the shadows of the mountain
slopes were very dark on either hand overhead, and the sky with snowy
flanks and tips was high up.

Here, away from the world, the villages were quiet and obscure--left
behind. They had the same fascinating atmosphere of being forgotten,
left out of the world, that old English villages have. And buying apples
and cheese and bread in a little shop that sold everything and smelled
of everything, I felt at home again.

But climbing gradually higher, mile after mile, always between the
shadows of the high mountains, I was glad I did not live in the Alps.
The villages on the slopes, the people there, seemed, as if they _must_
gradually, bit by bit, slide down and tumble to the water-course, and be
rolled on away, away to the sea. Straggling, haphazard little villages
ledged on the slope, high up, beside their wet, green, hanging meadows,
with pine trees behind and the valley bottom far below, and rocks right
above, on both sides, seemed like little temporary squattings of outcast
people. It seemed impossible that they should persist there, with great
shadows wielded over them, like a menace, and gleams of brief sunshine,
like a window. There was a sense of momentariness and expectation. It
seemed as though some dramatic upheaval must take place, the mountains
fall down into their own shadows. The valley beds were like deep graves,
the sides of the mountains like the collapsing walls of a grave. The
very mountain-tops above, bright with transcendent snow, seemed like
death, eternal death.

There, it seemed, in the glamorous snow, was the source of death, which
fell down in great waves of shadow and rock, rushing to the level earth.
And all the people of the mountains, on the slopes, in the valleys,
seemed to live upon this great, rushing wave of death, of breaking-down,
of destruction.

The very pure source of breaking-down, decomposition, the very quick of
cold death, is the snowy mountain-peak above. There, eternally, goes on
the white foregathering of the crystals, out of the deathly cold of the
heavens; this is the static nucleus where death meets life in its
elementality. And thence, from their white, radiant nucleus of death in
life, flows the great flux downwards, towards life and warmth. And we
below, we cannot think of the flux upwards, that flows from the
needle-point of snow to the unutterable cold and death.

The people under the mountains, they seem to live in the flux of death,
the last, strange, overshadowed units of life. Big shadows wave over
them, there is the eternal noise of water falling icily downwards from
the source of death overhead.

And the people under the shadows, dwelling in the tang of snow and the
noise of icy water, seem dark, almost sordid, brutal. There is no
flowering or coming to flower, only this persistence, in the ice-touched
air, of reproductive life.

But it is difficult to get a sense of a native population. Everywhere
are the hotels and the foreigners, the parasitism. Yet there is, unseen,
this overshadowed, overhung, sordid mountain population, ledged on the
slopes and in the crevices. In the wider valleys there is still a sense
of cowering among the people. But they catch a new tone from their
contact with the foreigners. And in the towns are nothing but
tradespeople.

So I climbed slowly up, for a whole day, first along the highroad,
sometimes above and sometimes below the twisting, serpentine railway,
then afterwards along a path on the side of the hill--a path that went
through the crew-yards of isolated farms and even through the garden of
a village priest. The priest was decorating an archway. He stood on a
chair in the sunshine, reaching up with a garland, whilst the
serving-woman stood below, talking loudly.

The valley here seemed wider, the great flanks of the mountains gave
place, the peaks above were further back. So one was happier. I was
pleased as I sat by the thin track of single flat stones that dropped
swiftly downhill.

At the bottom was a little town with a factory or quarry, or a foundry,
some place with long, smoking chimneys; which made me feel quite at home
among the mountains.

It is the hideous rawness of the world of men, the horrible, desolating
harshness of the advance of the industrial world upon the world of
nature, that is so painful. It looks as though the industrial spread of
mankind were a sort of dry disintegration advancing and advancing, a
process of dry disintegration. If only we could learn to take thought
for the whole world instead of for merely tiny bits of it.

I went through the little, hideous, crude factory-settlement in the high
valley, where the eternal snows gleamed, past the enormous
advertisements for chocolate and hotels, up the last steep slope of the
pass to where the tunnel begins. Göschenen, the village at the mouth of
the tunnel, is all railway sidings and haphazard villas for tourists,
post cards, and touts and weedy carriages; disorder and sterile chaos,
high up. How should any one stay there!

I went on up the pass itself. There were various parties of visitors on
the roads and tracks, people from towns incongruously walking and
driving. It was drawing on to evening. I climbed slowly, between the
great cleft in the rock where are the big iron gates, through which the
road winds, winds half-way down the narrow gulley of solid, living rock,
the very throat of the path, where hangs a tablet in memory of many
Russians killed.

Emerging through the dark rocky throat of the pass I came to the upper
world, the level upper world. It was evening, livid, cold. On either
side spread the sort of moorland of the wide pass-head. I drew near
along the high-road, to Andermatt.

Everywhere were soldiers moving about the livid, desolate waste of this
upper world. I passed the barracks and the first villas for visitors.
Darkness was coming on; the straggling, inconclusive street of Andermatt
looked as if it were some accident--houses, hotels, barracks,
lodging-places tumbled at random as the caravan of civilization crossed
this high, cold, arid bridge of the European world.

I bought two post cards and wrote them out of doors in the cold, livid
twilight. Then I asked a soldier where was the post-office. He directed
me. It was something like sending post cards from Skegness or Bognor,
there in the post-office.

I was trying to make myself agree to stay in Andermatt for the night.
But I could not. The whole place was so terribly raw and flat and
accidental, as if great pieces of furniture had tumbled out of a
pantechnicon and lay discarded by the road. I hovered in the street, in
the twilight, trying to make myself stay. I looked at the announcements
of lodgings and boarding for visitors. It was no good. I could not go
into one of these houses.

So I passed on, through the old, low, broad-eaved houses that cringe
down to the very street, out into the open again. The air was fierce and
savage. On one side was a moorland, level; on the other a sweep of naked
hill, curved concave, and sprinkled with snow. I could see how wonderful
it would all be, under five or six feet of winter snow, skiing and
tobogganing at Christmas. But it needed the snow. In the summer there is
to be seen nothing but the winter's broken detritus.

The twilight deepened, though there was still the strange, glassy
translucency of the snow-lit air. A fragment of moon was in the sky. A
carriage-load of French tourists passed me. There was the loud noise of
water, as ever, something eternal and maddening in its sound, like the
sound of Time itself, rustling and rushing and wavering, but never for a
second ceasing. The rushing of Time that continues throughout eternity,
this is the sound of the icy streams of Switzerland, something that
mocks and destroys our warm being.

So I came, in the early darkness, to the little village with the broken
castle that stands for ever frozen at the point where the track parts,
one way continuing along the ridge, to the Furka Pass, the other
swerving over the hill to the left, over the Gotthardt.

In this village I must stay. I saw a woman looking hastily, furtively
from a doorway. I knew she was looking for visitors. I went on up the
hilly street. There were only a few wooden houses and a gaily lighted
wooden inn, where men were laughing, and strangers, men, standing
talking loudly in the doorway.

It was very difficult to go to a house this night. I did not want to
approach any of them. I turned back to the house of the peering woman.
She had looked hen-like and anxious. She would be glad of a visitor to
help her pay her rent.

It was a clean, pleasant wooden house, made to keep out the cold. That
seemed its one function: to defend the inmates from the cold. It was
furnished like a hut, just tables and chairs and bare wooden walls. One
felt very close and secure in the room, as in a hut, shut away from the
outer world.

The hen-like woman came.

'Can I have a bed,' I said, 'for the night?'

'_Abendessen, ja!_' she replied. 'Will you have soup and boiled beef and
vegetables?'

I said I would, so I sat down to wait, in the utter silence. I could
scarcely hear the ice-stream, the silence seemed frozen, the house
empty. The woman seemed to be flitting aimlessly, scurriedly, in reflex
against the silence. One could almost touch the stillness as one could
touch the walls, or the stove, or the table with white American
oil-cloth.

Suddenly she appeared again.

'What will you drink?'

She watched my face anxiously, and her voice was pathetic, slightly
pleading in its quickness.

'Wine or beer?' she said.

I would not trust the coldness of beer.

'A half of red wine,' I said.

I knew she was going to keep me an indefinite time.

She appeared with the wine and bread.

'Would you like omelette after the beef?' she asked. 'Omelette with
cognac--I can make it _very_ good.'

I knew I should be spending too much, but I said yes. After all, why
should I not eat, after the long walk?

So she left me again, whilst I sat in the utter isolation and stillness,
eating bread and drinking the wine, which was good. And I listened for
any sound: only the faint noise of the stream. And I wondered, Why am I
here, on this ridge of the Alps, in the lamp-lit, wooden, close-shut
room, alone? Why am I here?

Yet somehow I was glad, I was happy even: such splendid silence and
coldness and clean isolation. It was something eternal, unbroachable: I
was free, in this heavy, ice-cold air, this upper world, alone. London,
far away below, beyond, England, Germany, France--they were all so
unreal in the night. It was a sort of grief that this continent all
beneath was so unreal, false, non-existent in its activity. Out of the
silence one looked down on it, and it seemed to have lost all
importance, all significance. It was so big, yet it had no significance.
The kingdom of the world had no significance: what could one do but
wander about?

The woman came with my soup. I asked her, did not many people come in
the summer. But she was scared away, she did not answer, she went like a
leaf in the wind. However, the soup was good and plentiful.

She was a long time before she came with the next course. Then she put
the tray on the table, and looking at me, then looking away,
shrinking, she said:

'You must excuse me if I don't answer you--I don't hear well--I am
rather deaf.'

I looked at her, and I winced also. She shrank in such simple pain from
the fact of her defect. I wondered if she were bullied because of it, or
only afraid lest visitors would dislike it.

She put the dishes in order, set me my plate, quickly, nervously, and
was gone again, like a scared chicken. Being tired, I wanted to weep
over her, the nervous, timid hen, so frightened by her own deafness. The
house was silent of her, empty. It was perhaps her deafness which
created this empty soundlessness.

When she came with the omelette, I said to her loudly:

'That was very good, the soup and meat.' So she quivered nervously, and
said, 'Thank you,' and I managed to talk to her. She was like most deaf
people, in that her terror of not hearing made her six times worse than
she actually was.

She spoke with a soft, strange accent, so I thought she was perhaps a
foreigner. But when I asked her she misunderstood, and I had not the
heart to correct her. I can only remember she said her house was always
full in the winter, about Christmas-time. People came for the winter
sport. There were two young English ladies who always came to her.

She spoke of them warmly. Then, suddenly afraid, she drifted off again.
I ate the omelette with cognac, which was very good, then I looked in
the street. It was very dark, with bright stars, and smelled of snow.
Two village men went by. I was tired, I did not want to go to the inn.

So I went to bed, in the silent, wooden house. I had a small bedroom,
clean and wooden and very cold. Outside, the stream was rushing. I
covered myself with a great depth of featherbed, and looked at the
stars, and the shadowy upper world, and went to sleep.

In the morning I washed in the ice-cold water, and was glad to set out.
An icy mist was over the noisy stream, there were a few meagre, shredded
pine-trees. I had breakfast and paid my bill: it was seven francs--more
than I could afford; but that did not matter, once I was out in the air.

The sky was blue and perfect, it was a ringing morning, the village was
very still. I went up the hill till I came to the signpost. I looked
down the direction of the Furka, and thought of my tired Englishman from
Streatham, who would be on his way home. Thank God I need not go home:
never, perhaps. I turned up the track to the left, to the Gothard.

Standing looking round at the mountain-tops, at the village and the
broken castle below me, at the scattered debris of Andermatt on the moor
in the distance, I was jumping in my soul with delight. Should one ever
go down to the lower world?

Then I saw another figure striding along, a youth with knee-breeches and
Alpine hat and braces over his shirt, walking manfully, his coat slung
in his rucksack behind. I laughed, and waited. He came my way.

'Are you going over the Gothard?' I said.

'Yes,' he replied. 'Are you also?'

'Yes' I said. 'We will go together.'

So we set off, climbing a track up the heathy rocks.

He was a pale, freckled town youth from Basel, seventeen years old. He
was a clerk in a baggage-transport firm--Gondrand Frères, I believe. He
had a week's holiday, in which time he was going to make a big circular
walk, something like the Englishman's. But he was accustomed to this
mountain walking: he belonged to a Sportverein. Manfully he marched in
his thick hob-nailed boots, earnestly he scrambled up the rocks.

We were in the crest of the pass. Broad snow-patched slopes came down
from the pure sky; the defile was full of stones, all bare stones,
enormous ones as big as a house, and small ones, pebbles. Through these
the road wound in silence, through this upper, transcendent desolation,
wherein was only the sound of the stream. Sky and snow-patched slopes,
then the stony, rocky bed of the defile, full of morning sunshine: this
was all. We were crossing in silence from the northern world to
the southern.

But he, Emil, was going to take the train back, through the tunnel, in
the evening, to resume his circular walk at Göschenen.

I, however, was going on, over the ridge of the world, from the north
into the south. So I was glad.

We climbed up the gradual incline for a long time. The slopes above
became lower, they began to recede. The sky was very near, we were
walking under the sky.

Then the defile widened out, there was an open place before us, the very
top of the pass. Also there were low barracks, and soldiers. We heard
firing. Standing still, we saw on the slopes of snow, under the radiant
blue heaven, tiny puffs of smoke, then some small black figures crossing
the snow patch, then another rattle of rifle-fire, rattling dry and
unnatural in the upper, skyey air, between the rocks.

'_Das ist schön_,' said my companion, in his simple admiration.

'_Hübsch_,' I said.

'But that would be splendid, to be firing up there, manoeuvring up in
the snow.'

And he began to tell me how hard a soldier's life was, how hard the
soldier was drilled.

'You don't look forward to it?' I said.

'Oh yes, I do. I want to be a soldier, I want to serve my time.'

'Why?'I said.

'For the exercise, the life, the drilling. One becomes strong.'

'Do all the Swiss want to serve their time in the army?' I asked.

'Yes--they all want to. It is good for every man, and it keeps us all
together. Besides, it is only for a year. For a year it is very good.
The Germans have three years--that is too long, that is bad.'

I told him how the soldiers in Bavaria hated the military service.

'Yes,' he said, 'that is true of Germans. The system is different. Ours
is much better; in Switzerland a man enjoys his time as a soldier. I
want to go.'

So we watched the black dots of soldiers crawling over the high snow,
listened to the unnatural dry rattle of guns, up there.

Then we were aware of somebody whistling, of soldiers yelling down the
road. We were to come on, along the level, over the bridge. So we
marched quickly forward, away from the slopes, towards the hotel, once a
monastery, that stood in the distance. The light was blue and clear on
the reedy lakes of this upper place; it was a strange desolation of
water and bog and rocks and road, hedged by the snowy slopes round the
rim, under the very sky.

The soldier was yelling again. I could not tell what he said.

'He says if we don't run we can't come at all,' said Emil.

'I won't run,' I said.

So we hurried forwards, over the bridge, where the soldier on guard was
standing.

'Do you want to be shot?' he said angrily, as we came up.

'No, thanks,' I said.

Emil was very serious.

'How long should we have had to wait if we hadn't got through now?' he
asked the soldier, when we were safely out of danger.

'Till one o'clock,' was the reply.

'Two hours!' said Emil, strangely elated. 'We should have had to wait
two hours before we could come on. He was riled that we didn't run,' and
he laughed with glee.

So we marched over the level to the hotel. We called in for a glass of
hot milk. I asked in German. But the maid, a pert hussy, elegant and
superior, was French. She served us with great contempt, as two
worthless creatures, poverty-stricken. It abashed poor Emil, but we
managed to laugh at her. This made her very angry. In the smoking-room
she raised up her voice in French:

'_Du lait chaud pour les chameaux._'

'Some hot milk for the camels, she says,' I translated for Emil. He was
covered with confusion and youthful anger.

But I called to her, tapped the table and called:

'_Mademoiselle!_'

She appeared flouncingly in the doorway.

'_Encore du lait pour les chameaux_,' I said.

And she whisked our glasses off the table, and flounced out without a
word.

But she would not come in again with the milk. A German girl brought it.
We laughed, and she smiled primly.

When we set forth again, Emil rolled up his sleeves and turned back his
shirt from his neck and breast, to do the thing thoroughly. Besides, it
was midday, and the sun was hot; and, with his bulky pack on his back,
he suggested the camel of the French maid more than ever.

We were on the downward slope. Only a short way from the hotel, and
there was the drop, the great cleft in the mountains running down from
this shallow pot among the peaks.

The descent on the south side is much more precipitous and wonderful
than the ascent from the north. On the south, the rocks are craggy and
stupendous; the little river falls headlong down; it is not a stream, it
is one broken, panting cascade far away in the gulley below, in
the darkness.

But on the slopes the sun pours in, the road winds down with its tail in
its mouth, always in endless loops returning on itself. The mules that
travel upward seem to be treading in a mill.

Emil took the narrow tracks, and, like the water, we cascaded down,
leaping from level to level, leaping, running, leaping, descending
headlong, only resting now and again when we came down on to another
level of the high-road.

Having begun, we could not help ourselves, we were like two stones
bouncing down. Emil was highly elated. He waved his thin, bare, white
arms as he leapt, his chest grew pink with the exercise. Now he felt he
was doing something that became a member of his Sportverein. Down we
went, jumping, running, britching.

It was wonderful on this south side, so sunny, with feathery trees and
deep black shadows. It reminded me of Goethe, of the romantic period:

    _Kennst du das Land, wo die Citronen blühen?_

So we went tumbling down into the south, very swiftly, along with the
tumbling stream. But it was very tiring. We went at a great pace down
the gully, between the sheer rocks. Trees grew in the ledges high over
our heads, trees grew down below. And ever we descended.

Till gradually the gully opened, then opened into a wide valley-head,
and we saw Airolo away below us, the railway emerging from its hole, the
whole valley like a cornucopia full of sunshine.

Poor Emil was tired, more tired than I was. And his big boots had hurt
his feet in the descent. So, having come to the open valley-head, we
went more gently. He had become rather quiet.

The head of the valley had that half-tamed, ancient aspect that reminded
me of the Romans. I could only expect the Roman legions to be encamped
down there; and the white goats feeding on the bushes belonged to a
Roman camp.

But no, we saw again the barracks of the Swiss soldiery, and again we
were in the midst of rifle-fire and manoeuvres. But we went evenly,
tired now, and hungry. We had nothing to eat.

It is strange how different the sun-dried, ancient, southern slopes of
the world are, from the northern slopes. It is as if the god Pan really
had his home among these sun-bleached stones and tough, sun-dark trees.
And one knows it all in one's blood, it is pure, sun-dried memory. So I
was content, coming down into Airolo.

We found the streets were Italian, the houses sunny outside and dark
within, like Italy, there were laurels in the road. Poor Emil was a
foreigner all at once. He rolled down his shirt sleeves and fastened his
shirt-neck, put on his coat and collar, and became a foreigner in his
soul, pale and strange.

I saw a shop with vegetables and grapes, a real Italian shop, a dark
cave.

'_Quanto costa l'uva?_' were my first words in the south.

'_Sessanta al chilo_,' said the girl.

And it was as pleasant as a drink of wine, the Italian.

So Emil and I ate the sweet black grapes as we went to the station.

He was very poor. We went into the third-class restaurant at the
station. He ordered beer and bread and sausage; I ordered soup and
boiled beef and vegetables.

They brought me a great quantity, so, whilst the girl was serving
coffee-with-rum to the men at the bar, I took another spoon and knife
and fork and plates for Emil, and we had two dinners from my one. When
the girl--she was a woman of thirty-five--came back, she looked at us
sharply. I smiled at her coaxingly; so she gave a small, kindly smile
in reply.

'_Ja, dies ist reizend_,' said Emil, _sotto voce_, exulting. He was very
shy. But we were curiously happy, in that railway restaurant.

Then we sat very still, on the platform, and waited for the train. It
was like Italy, pleasant and social to wait in the railway station, all
the world easy and warm in its activity, with the sun shining.

I decided to take a franc's worth of train-journey. So I chose my
station. It was one franc twenty, third class. Then my train came, and
Emil and I parted, he waving to me till I was out of sight. I was sorry
he had to go back, he did so want to venture forth.

So I slid for a dozen miles or more, sleepily, down the Ticino valley,
sitting opposite two fat priests in their feminine black.

When I got out at my station I felt for the first time ill at ease. Why
was I getting out at this wayside place, on to the great, raw high-road?
I did not know. But I set off walking. It was nearly tea-time.

Nothing in the world is more ghastly than these Italian roads, new,
mechanical, belonging to a machine life. The old roads are wonderful,
skilfully aiming their way. But these new great roads are desolating,
more desolating than all the ruins in the world.

I walked on and on, down the Ticino valley, towards Bellinzona. The
valley was perhaps beautiful: I don't know. I can only remember the
road. It was broad and new, and it ran very often beside the railway. It
ran also by quarries and by occasional factories, also through villages.
And the quality of its sordidness is something that does not bear
thinking of, a quality that has entered Italian life now, if it was not
there before.

Here and there, where there were quarries or industries, great
lodging-houses stood naked by the road, great, grey, desolate places;
and squalid children were playing round the steps, and dirty men
slouched in. Everything seemed under a weight.

Down the road of the Ticino valley I felt again my terror of this new
world which is coming into being on top of us. One always feels it in a
suburb, on the edge of a town, where the land is being broken under the
advance of houses. But this is nothing, in England, to the terror one
feels on the new Italian roads, where these great blind cubes of
dwellings rise stark from the destroyed earth, swarming with a sort of
verminous life, really verminous, purely destructive.

It seems to happen when the peasant suddenly leaves his home and becomes
a workman. Then an entire change comes over everywhere. Life is now a
matter of selling oneself to slave-work, building roads or labouring in
quarries or mines or on the railways, purposeless, meaningless, really
slave-work, each integer doing his mere labour, and all for no purpose,
except to have money, and to get away from the old system.

These Italian navvies work all day long, their whole life is engaged in
the mere brute labour. And they are the navvies of the world. And whilst
they are navvying, they are almost shockingly indifferent to their
circumstances, merely callous to the dirt and foulness.

It is as if the whole social form were breaking down, and the human
element swarmed within the disintegration, like maggots in cheese. The
roads, the railways are built, the mines and quarries are excavated, but
the whole organism of life, the social organism, is slowly crumbling and
caving in, in a kind of process of dry rot, most terrifying to see. So
that it seems as though we should be left at last with a great system of
roads and railways and industries, and a world of utter chaos seething
upon these fabrications: as if we had created a steel framework, and the
whole body of society were crumbling and rotting in between. It is most
terrifying to realize; and I have always felt this terror upon a new
Italian high-road--more there than anywhere.

The remembrance of the Ticino valley is a sort of nightmare to me. But
it was better when at last, in the darkness of night, I got into
Bellinzona. In the midst of the town one felt the old organism still
living. It is only at its extremities that it is falling to pieces, as
in dry rot.

In the morning, leaving Bellinzona, again I went in terror of the new,
evil high-road, with its skirting of huge cubical houses and its
seething navvy population. Only the peasants driving in with fruit were
consoling. But I was afraid of them: the same spirit had set in in them.

I was no longer happy in Switzerland, not even when I was eating great
blackberries and looking down at the Lago Maggiore, at Locarno, lying by
the lake; the terror of the callous, disintegrating process was too
strong in me.

At a little inn a man was very good to me. He went into his garden and
fetched me the first grapes and apples and peaches, bringing them in
amongst leaves, and heaping them before me. He was Italian-Swiss; he had
been in a bank in Bern; now he had retired, had bought his paternal
home, and was a free man. He was about fifty years old; he spent all his
time in his garden; his daughter attended to the inn.

He talked to me, as long as I stayed, about Italy and Switzerland and
work and life. He was retired, he was free. But he was only nominally
free. He had only achieved freedom from labour. He knew that the system
he had escaped at last, persisted, and would consume his sons and his
grandchildren. He himself had more or less escaped back to the old form;
but as he came with me on to the hillside, looking down the high-road at
Lugano in the distance, he knew that his old order was collapsing by a
slow process of disintegration.

Why did he talk to me as if I had any hope, as if I represented any
positive truth as against this great negative truth that was advancing
up the hill-side. Again I was afraid. I hastened down the high-road,
past the houses, the grey, raw crystals of corruption.

I saw a girl with handsome bare legs, ankles shining like brass in the
sun. She was working in a field, on the edge of a vineyard. I stopped to
look at her, suddenly fascinated by her handsome naked flesh that shone
like brass.

Then she called out to me, in a jargon I could not understand, something
mocking and challenging. And her voice was raucous and challenging; I
went on, afraid.

In Lugano I stayed at a German hotel. I remember sitting on a seat in
the darkness by the lake, watching the stream of promenaders patrolling
the edge of the water, under the trees and the lamps. I can still see
many of their faces: English, German, Italian, French. And it seemed
here, here in this holiday-place, was the quick of the disintegration,
the dry-rot, in this dry, friable flux of people backwards and forwards
on the edge of the lake, men and women from the big hotels, in evening
dress, curiously sinister, and ordinary visitors, and tourists, and
workmen, youths, men of the town, laughing, jeering. It was curiously
and painfully sinister, almost obscene.

I sat a long time among them, thinking of the girl with her limbs of
glowing brass. Then at last I went up to the hotel, and sat in the
lounge looking at the papers. It was the same here as down below, though
not so intense, the feeling of horror.

So I went to bed. The hotel was on the edge of a steep declivity. I
wondered why the whole hills did not slide down, in some great natural
catastrophe.

In the morning I walked along the side of the Lake of Lugano, to where I
could take a steamer to ferry me down to the end. The lake is not
beautiful, only picturesque. I liked most to think of the Romans
coming to it.

So I steamed down to the lower end of the water. When I landed and went
along by a sort of railway I saw a group of men. Suddenly they began to
whoop and shout. They were hanging on to an immense pale bullock, which
was slung up to be shod; and it was lunging and kicking with terrible
energy. It was strange to see that mass of pale, soft-looking flesh
working with such violent frenzy, convulsed with violent, active frenzy,
whilst men and women hung on to it with ropes, hung on and weighed it
down. But again it scattered some of them in its terrible convulsion.
Human beings scattered into the road, the whole place was covered with
hot dung. And when the bullock began to lunge again, the men set up a
howl, half of triumph, half of derision.

I went on, not wanting to see. I went along a very dusty road. But it
was not so terrifying, this road. Perhaps it was older.

In dreary little Chiasso I drank coffee, and watched the come and go
through the Customs. The Swiss and the Italian Customs officials had
their offices within a few yards of each other, and everybody must stop.
I went in and showed my rucksack to the Italian, then I mounted a tram,
and went to the Lake of Como.

In the tram were dressed-up women, fashionable, but business-like. They
had come by train to Chiasso, or else had been shopping in the town.

When we came to the terminus a young miss, dismounting before me, left
behind her parasol. I had been conscious of my dusty, grimy appearance
as I sat in the tram, I knew they thought me a workman on the roads.
However, I forgot that when it was time to dismount.

'_Pardon, Mademoiselle_,' I said to the young miss. She turned and
withered me with a rather overdone contempt--'_bourgeoise_,' I said to
myself, as I looked at her--'_Vous avez laissé votre parasol_.'

She turned, and with a rapacious movement darted upon her parasol. How
her soul was in her possessions! I stood and watched her. Then she went
into the road and under the trees, haughty, a demoiselle. She had on
white kid boots.

I thought of the Lake of Como what I had thought of Lugano: it must have
been wonderful when the Romans came there. Now it is all villas. I think
only the sunrise is still wonderful, sometimes.

I took the steamer down to Como, and slept in a vast old stone cavern of
an inn, a remarkable place, with rather nice people. In the morning I
went out. The peace and the bygone beauty of the cathedral created the
glow of the great past. And in the market-place they were selling
chestnuts wholesale, great heaps of bright, brown chestnuts, and sacks
of chestnuts, and peasants very eager selling and buying. I thought of
Como, it must have been wonderful even a hundred years ago. Now it is
cosmopolitan, the cathedral is like a relic, a museum object, everywhere
stinks of mechanical money-pleasure. I dared not risk walking to Milan:
I took a train. And there, in Milan, sitting in the Cathedral Square, on
Saturday afternoon, drinking Bitter Campari and watching the swarm of
Italian city-men drink and talk vivaciously, I saw that here the life
was still vivid, here the process of disintegration was vigorous, and
centred in a multiplicity of mechanical activities that engage the human
mind as well as the body. But always there was the same purpose stinking
in it all, the mechanizing, the perfect mechanizing of human life.



THE END






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